if your roomate is always keep silent~what would u do?

China
July 18, 2007 2:52am CST
my roomate is a girl who always keep silent~ when she came home she will say hello and do her things and keep silent until she said goodnight and turn off the light~ i feel uncomfortable because she seems to be have nothing to tell me nomatter about her work or something else~ it make me feel incredible because my friends will have a lot of fun with me but silence~ maybe i do something wrong or i have to have something to open the box to make her talk? what can i do ? pls give me some suggestion~
4 people like this
11 responses
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
18 Jul 07
Hi! Welcome to mylot! Well, I would like to add here that people are different not interms of face beauty but also in terms of their behavior, their nature, their attitude and likewise. What I feel about your roomate is that she is of silent nature and keeps quite, not due to her habit but this would possibly be her nature too. But what I believe is that if you want to make her change, share your feelings with her, give her company or invite your friends to your room to make some fun and ask her to participate. Her shy nature would gradually be off. Also you may enquire her past life, her area of interest too. Share common interests with each other ¤¤¤¤¤ Thanks!
• China
18 Jul 07
exactly~i am a girl who enjoy quite feeling~ i would like to do something in my own world~ but ,i think we have gap to communicate~ because i see her is active to talk to the other people in the company~ but she ignore me ~ it seems to be we have no the right topic to talk~ ok, i am trying to forget it ~ let it go~ i will try my best to get along well with her~
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
18 Jul 07
From what you have said I tend to think that you do not have much in common. Just be polite and don't worry about her. you spend time on your work/studies, whatever and your happy pastime on your hobby or with friends. After all she is not going to be your permanent room mate. Smiles and polite greetings are just enough.
• China
19 Jul 07
maybe i don't have to worry too much of her ~ focus on my own work and try my best~ thanx all of u~
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
18 Jul 07
We are all different. Some like to chat, some are reserved and on their guard. Don't expect your roommate to behave like your other friends. Just wait a bit and give open smiles and say 'Hullo' without any hangup. YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG I AM SURE. THIS WILL BE PROVED IF SHE GIVES A SMILE BACK TO YOU. A SMILE A DAY WILL MAKE HER LET HER GUARD DOWN AFTER A WEEK OR SO.Then will come a time when you become thick friends after a year or two. Anything takes time and varies with individuals.
• China
18 Jul 07
yes~ you are right~ you help me escape from the uncomfortable mood~ thanx~ i think i don't have to care to much~ we have our own life exactly~ make each day count~ that is enough~~~ thanx so much~
• United States
18 Jul 07
This is not always the case. My first roomate was very silent and never talked to me. I was nice to him and everything. Turns out he wasn't just reserved, he was phsycotic and tried to kill himself.
• China
19 Jul 07
maybe i have to get used to the situation~ spend much of my time in my own stuff~ but just a little bit uncomfortable when the room is always kept quiteness~ thanx for your sharing~ wish you gays happy
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
18 Jul 07
Don't take it to heart. Some people are just very quiet like that. My daughter and I are selective mute and when I was younger, I would have been just like that. The best thing to do is not let on that her silence bothers you. Instead be cheerful and chatty. Ask a couple of questions but at first...talk about you. I'm sure as she get comfortable with you she will open up. Don't push her or you will shut her down.
• China
19 Jul 07
thanx for your suggestion~ i think i get the way to deal with it ~ you are so kind~ thanx ~~~ wish you~
@nmw2005 (1197)
• United States
18 Jul 07
why not include her in you next night out with friends?
• China
19 Jul 07
actually, i give up to please her~ i think she is not that kind i can go out with~ and we have no too much topic to talk with~ so ~ it is difficult for me to get on well with her~
• India
18 Jul 07
Hi, now this calls for a little bit of Clinical Psychology!If a person is behaving in a little abnormal manner, there would be a definitely something behind it & all you have to do is dig out the reason. Often, it is some mishap happened in the Past, or certain circumstances or certain people(could be close ones-family etc)who would have forced your room-mate to be quiet.Keep talking about various things, various people,stories, myths, jokes,whatever till your partner opens out-- He or she would one fine day burst out Laughing or Crying---& from that day, your room-mate would be totally a different person. Thanks, www.creatingcolourfulfuture.com
• China
19 Jul 07
i can not get hte meaning~ could you mind explain it for me~
• China
18 Jul 07
you love her,to be declared
• China
19 Jul 07
no~~ absolutely~ haha`
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
18 Jul 07
I would bet that she is shy. Try asking her questions and telling her about your life, asking advice, etc. People like that have to be drawn out of their shell. I know because I am like that sometimes.
• China
19 Jul 07
but she seems to be just for me ~ she have a lot to say to the others~ so ~~~~i am a little sad~ and i am going to find that is it my fault? hehe ~
18 Jul 07
I'm sure you have done nothing to upset her, it may well be her way to keep quiet until she feels able to open up and talk with people. Some people are very private individuals, give her some space but let her know that she is welcome.
• China
18 Jul 07
i will respect her~ yes~keep a private space is very important~ ha~
@anjoks (2084)
• Philippines
18 Jul 07
Ey, how long have you guys been roomates? .. Maybe she's just shy or something to that effect. Well i guess, you have to make an extra effort for her to feel at home with you. You know what em sayin? .. On the other hand, just let it be. Do your own thing. Stop worrying about that when you know for yourself that you did no harm or anything to her. Give her space, in no time for sure she'll open up to you. Take care now. (",)
• China
18 Jul 07
just 3 months~ i feel stuffy sometimes~ it is difficult for me to deal with~ thanx for your response~
• United States
18 Jul 07
It sounds like she doesn't want a friend in you. Has it always been like that? That must be so awkward and uncomfortable to come home to. I can't imagine it. Maybe you need to find a different roomate?
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
18 Jul 07
Some people are just like that and like to keep to themselves. It's likely you've done absolutely nothing wrong , it's just a case of different personalities..:)