Why is it that when us woman have been jilted, we cut our hair?

India
July 20, 2007 6:02am CST
I've always wanted to know why we do this. I'm sure not every woman who's been dropped cut their hair, but many of us do. Maybe 3 days after my first boyfriend broke up with me, I cut off most of my hair. I had almost butt length black hair. I donated it to locks of love of course I like the cut and I got to colour it red, yay! But I've done this before. All of my life when I was hurt by a guy, I cut my hair on impulse. I've seen so many people do it too. What is the significance of this? Does it mean we are freeing ourselves in a way?
8 people like this
19 responses
@rosie_123 (6118)
20 Jul 07
Well I don't think it's just when we're been jilted - I think it's something women do a lot when they're experiencng any big emotional changes in their life. I guess it's because women are generally more interested in their appearance than men, and the way they dress, make-up and do their hair is a way of expressing themselves as people. So if we want to be assertive/show the world we don't care/impress a new man/start again somewhere new, or whatever, a new hairstyle is as good as any place to start! I remember when I elft myfirst husband, he really loved my long blonde hair, so the first thing I did was cut it short and dye it red! It was like "this is my life - you don't own me" or smoething!
• India
20 Jul 07
O wow !!! You did the right thing :) .. I am really impressed with your quote -- "this is my life - you don't own me" .. Very well said my friend :)
2 people like this
@rosie_123 (6118)
20 Jul 07
Why thanks for that! Luckily, after my divorce I eventually met a man who didn't want to "own" me, so we've been blissfully happy ever since:-))
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
i always do this and whenever my boyfriend fights with me i cut my hair..thats why he is not always surprise when i cut my hair once we argued..i do it because i know he doesnt want me cutting my hair..and i do it because i feel the stress on the bottom of my heair..i need to cut it to release the stress..have it colored into something nice..whenever my exe's broke with me i do the cuttng al the tme.. feel like i need some make over to show love for myself..
2 people like this
• India
20 Jul 07
Oh it seem like we both are doing the same thing:) .. No doubt we really need some makeover :)
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 07
I didn't do that but I do know of some women who do. I think it's a way to say "out with the old, in with the new". You want a new, fresh start. So, this signifies the beginning of something new, a change, a shift, etc. Some women I know do this as a sign to moan their lost relationship. And then, it's time to move on. I think that's better than spending too much time crying over spilt milk, asking all kinds of "what if" questions or worse..trying to plot revenge! It's a great healing process, I think. And it's wonderful that you donated your hair to Locks Of Love. At least, something good came out of that relationship, ya? :)
• India
20 Jul 07
O yeah .. I agree with you and the quote you stated here -- "out with the old, in with the new" is just so true. Yes there is no use crying over spilt milk. You response is truely meaningful .. I appreciate that
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Jul 07
I've heard people say that when a girl is dumped, sometimes she feels as if she's ugly. So then she cuts her hair so that she looks ugly just like she feels. Not that girls get ugly haircuts after they're dumped, but I've just heard that theory before. But I think its more part of the moving on process...girls are looking for something new, and so they get a new hairstyle to reflect that. I've never cut my hair after being dumped. I usually just get my hair cut on whims, whether I'm in a relationship or not.
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jul 07
Cut my hair are you kidding me? Oh no; when I was jilted as you say I loved nothing better then to have my long shiny blond hair flowing and swaying down my back as I walked on by! The guys seem to love my hair so it was the one thing I felt like I could flaunt. LOL not that it matter to them by the time a break up happened. Silly me!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 07
This is funny cause i know exactly what you mean i too had long hair and when me and my ex broke up i decided it was time for a change. Kind of like an independent thing ya know? Like look what i can do now that you aren't around. LOL but im glad you like it cause most woemn will do it and NOT like it.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16235)
• United States
21 Jul 07
Come to think of it I changed my hairstyle when I broke off with my ex after being together for 7 year. I use to have it spiral permed and not long after leaving him I got it straightened. That's weird. I suppose I did it to feel good about myself I think.
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jul 07
I think its because we want to show we are turning a new corner in life . that we are starting a new so we want to make ourselves look new to so to speak so we do our hair lol
1 person likes this
@subathra (3519)
• India
21 Jul 07
I dont have an experiance like this but even something happens to me i think i will not cut down my hair.I have a very long and lengthy hair which i trim everymonth and cut to some inches only as i consider it very precious and add to my beauty.. so no chances of sacrificing hair for any cause.. But to your point..hope some women find it a way to suppress their anger towards the hurting..may be it gives some satisfaction.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 07
as a thinker, i wanna say something deeply about this, but after think for one hour,and drink two big cup of tea,and pray with God for ten times,finally i delect several hundreds words keyed in, only found one word to put here for you: apple.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
20 Jul 07
long hair - I grew my hair long
It must be a way of freeing yourself I can't really say. Last year I was "jilted" by my boyfriend of 5 years and I did the opposite and let my hair grow. It's down to my waist now and I love it this way. Maybe I did it to spite him because he loved long hair so much and it wasn't that long when we were together...who knows.
@clocks123 (1228)
• United States
20 Jul 07
when i parted from my boyfriend who loved "long hair" i cut it short then finally shorter perhaps i was pleasing him but i loved my hair short i like the way i look and i got older as well so it suits me better easier to manage and look good i was thinking girls maybe it is liberating to us when there is a breakup and we do it
1 person likes this
@lburns70 (182)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I don't know. I have gotten upset with my husband and gotten my cut off. I think that I do it just to spite him. It usually works. He gets upset because he likes my hair long. When I cut it, it proves that I was upset with him.
1 person likes this
@vampoet (825)
• Singapore
20 Jul 07
Haha, maybe that is just a way for women to let go? I mean, letting go of some hair is like letting go of whatever is bugging them? Maybe looking at the mirror after that and having the illusion that they are beautiful and it is his loss make them have a closure? I dunno. You are a woman. why do you do it?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
i'ved never been jilted, but i always have my haur cut whenever i'm deppress, to ease out, i think,.. an outlet... or when someone said nasty things about me, that instead of confronting that person, or getting mad, i 'll have a haircut.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 07
I have done this many times. Either when I get jilted or when I am just mad at my boyfriend. For me at least it seems I do it when I get jilted to start over,kind of reinvent myself. When I am mad at my boyfriend and do it, well it is just for spite. LOL
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Before I was married when I broke up with my boyfriend. I got a haircut because I was mad at him. My hair reminded me of him. He use to love my long hair so I wanted to get rid of it and anything that reminded me of him. That was my way of getting over him and it worked.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 07
Preeti, I really cannot figure out...what your beautiful and silky hair were to do...with your relationship with your boy friend. I mean, how does your hair were or are responsible for break or otherwise in the relationship....(Baloon ka kya dosh thaaa?????) I feel you just get rid of your emotions of anger...by punishing yourself...through cutting your hair. Don't feel guilty...now you have lost your hair...it will grow again. Be patient and happy....you will regain them soon. Best of Luck! deepak
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Hi touchnshine! Oh, yes I have done that before on impulse and until now whenever my hubby and I had a big fight, I still have my hair cut in a different style. I guess, it is to make us feel good...beautifying ourselves, looking for some change and improvement in our life even though it's just a simple action of cutting of our hair. No need to worry, it's not a symptom of mental illness. lol! Have a nice day!