she's taking it out on my daughter

Canada
July 20, 2007 11:36am CST
i have new neighbours in my duplex. they party and do drugs constantly and she has lost custody of her two kids. i was tired of the partying keeping me and my daughter up so after asking them repeadedly to keep it down i called the cops and made a noise complaint. now she is retaliating and making up stuff about me. she's had her first visitation with her kids for a few hours last week since she's moved in two months ago and her kids played in the back yard with my daughter's stuff and i didn't say anything, now yesterday she called the city on me about my easy set pool. they came but sayd it was fine i could leave it up no problem. but i just don't get how if she's mad at me cause she was partying and i complained why take it out on my daughter. that's her pool, i didn't tell her kids not to play. i'm so frustrated with this person,
5 people like this
13 responses
• United States
20 Jul 07
Her kids were taken for a reason . . . now you know why. She's unstable and you should avoid her as much as possible (hard to do, I know). If she continues to take it out on your daughter, then it's time to remove all of her toys from the backyard whenever you know the other woman's kids are coming over. If you don't know until her kids actually arrive, just go out and start packing all the toys up, empty the pool too (or cover it over), right in front of them. If she says anything tell her that you've had complaints about the pool and toys and wouldn't want her kids getting hurt while playing with them. If she can't cooperate with you there's no reason for you to allow her the use of your daughter's things. There's no reasoning with this person. Do what you need to to get a good night's sleep, allowing her to affect your lives this way is just enabling her to continue her bad behavior. Your best bet is to try and find a new place to live. Perhaps your landlord has other similar places you could rent that would get you out of there. He/she should certainly be made aware that you are unhappy and maybe he/she can help you find a better situation. Don't try to get the other woman out through the landlord -- try to get yourself out. We can't control others, only ourselves. Better to deal with the stress of moving (which only lasts a short while) than to try dealing with the daily stress of living near this woman! Good Luck!!!!
• Canada
20 Jul 07
thanks for the advice. i am looking for another place. i get a good deal here and i'm afraid of not finding something i can afford. but i have to do something. i'm not going to live like this. i hate to tell her kids not to play with the swing set and stuff cause i'm all about the kids and letting them have a good time, look at what her kids have been through allready not having a mom that's responsible enought to take care of them.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
21 Jul 07
be kind to the kids...it isn't their fault. be extra kind to her kids regardless of what she does. As much as you are suffering in this situation, i suspect her kids are suffering a great deal more!
1 person likes this
@pamcake (276)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Sounds like she is trying to make herself feel better about all of lthe partying. Or...she could possibly be trying to make herself look better with the authorities by making a call about a safety issue for her kids...of course both while trying to retaliate against you as well. Next time the kids come over, and play in your side of the yard, if she isn't out there with them, I would be sure to ask her to watch them since she is so concerned about the pool. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I wish you the best:)
2 people like this
@lburns70 (182)
• United States
20 Jul 07
You'll have that. We have neighbor's who complain about everything. We drove our lawnmower on their property and they complain but yet we dont say a word when they ride their 4 wheeler on our property.
2 people like this
@anij34 (317)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Ahh the lovely noisy neighbors dilemma. I am sorry that you have to go through this. My only advice is to make sure that you only call the police or make reports about her when your NOT angry so she doesn't think your being spiteful. Which it sounds like you are doing that so great! The other thing you can do is ask the land lord if he/she would be willing to put up a fence between your two yards. You never know unless you ask...(If your not renting and you own then maybe save up some money to do the fence thing. I know it is easier said than done). Good luck and I pray that this women is willing to change and stop taking her grief and frustration out on you and your daughter.
2 people like this
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
just keep your cool. people like them does not deserve your attention.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I'm sorry you in such an uncomfortable situation. I don't think she was trying to take it out on your child. She knew that she would get to you and was not even thinking of the child, i'll bet.
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
23 Jul 07
Doesnt sound like a very nice neighbour at all. She is the one doing wrong, not you. It appalls me when so called adults act like this. They have no right to. You and your daughter have done nothing wrong. Best wishes to you
@Pizza4u (45)
• United States
21 Jul 07
This woman only knows one thing and that is you ruined her good time and she wants to teach you a lesson. However, she is more than likely not very bright and will only make herself out to look like a donkey, which she is already is.
1 person likes this
@ky1119 (699)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I've noticed that when some people are having a hard time in their own lives, that they have to take it out on others for whatever reason. It's unfortunate, but it happens. Some how, they feel better about themselves when making others miserable. I have never been able to figure that out. Just keep your head up high and know that you're the stronger person. Eventually, it'll call come out in the wash. Remember, you're the one that can go to bed with a clear conscience at night.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I would probably talk to the landlord about this and see whether he can do something about her. Sorry to hear you are going through this poppo!
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I hate people like that. The only thing you can do is ignore everything and if you see something that is wrong that should be reported, then report it. She can't do anything to you as long as you are doing what is right. So, just be alert, but try not to worry to much about it. Just try your best to ignore her ignorance. She needs to worry more about her life so she can get her kids back. It's a shame she is playing childish games like this.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Jul 07
I am not saying that what she is doing is right, but I do understand why she is doing it. She is mad and wants to relatiate. She thinks she needs to get even. I don't understand why people think like that. You did the right thing, calling the cops. Your neighbour is in the wrong.
1 person likes this
@sizzle3000 (3039)
• United States
30 Jul 07
The woman probably figures that she can only hurt you through your child. I am sorry but I would continue to complain about noise. I would also complain to the landlord as well. You are paying rent to live there too and you should be able to enjoy your peace. From your writings you are a good mother and I would not pay any attention to her calling on you because once they see you are a good mom they will stop comming out. After a few calls that are unfounded you can sue her for falsly accusing you. I am sorry that you are having problems with your neightbors. I hope things get better for you. I am a private person and am luck to have a sigle home. If I don't like my neighbors I just stay in the house. Good luck