Half stepping fathers

United States
July 21, 2007 6:19am CST
It really pains me to see children waiting for there fathers on visitation days. I am talking about fathers who do not live with their children and have visitation rights, but never show up. Or make a sorry excuse why they can't take their child/children for a weekend or whatever the time frame. And what really kills me is that these children will wait, wait and wait more. They truly believe he will be there for them. They even pass up other events that are offered just so they won't miss him. What these fathers don't understand, is that these children grow up and become damaged adults. Yes, I know we all heard that you shouldn't take this baggage with you in your adulthood. But the pain and the believing are still there. Especially girls who are waiting for their fathers. This starts low self esteem. Bad enough young girls can fall into the trap of low self esteem anyway. They become women who have problems in relationships, eating disorders, child rearing, etc. As for boys, they too have problems in relationships and lose direction. There is so much that damages these kids in so many different ways. Why can't these so called fathers step up to the plate and be there. Don't they understand that it is more than a responsibility. It is a relationship and a future. I see one of my friends that as a child she would wait for her father to come and pick her up and spend the day with her and he never showed, never called. She is now 51 years old and still tries to see him and he still stands her up. When she was 40 years old that is when she found several other half siblings that he had with other women. Guess that is why he missed all those visitation days huh? Too busy making other kids. So now I watch my granddaughter sit and wait, wait and wait some more. Come on people. Wake up. If you don't pay your dues today, tomorrow will collect. And tomorrow adds late charges and interest.
3 people like this
2 responses
@BinKsBaBy (507)
• United States
12 Aug 07
WOW VERY WELL STATED! I went thru this as a young girl and I was a daddys girl at that! I now have to watch my daughter go thru this and I do everything within my power to try and make this NOT HAPPEN to her! I will take her to him he is more then welcome here at anytime ect! I have also tried to explain what it is doing to her from my own life experiences and it still doesnt effect him, I know he cares and I know we are still pretty young BUT NOT THAT YOUNG that he cant understand the long term effects that his actions now will have on her life as well as their realationship FOREVER! And what really kills me is I know how much she really means to him Ive seen it when he has been hurt by her reactions to hom being in jail and other things and I care for him still and think of him as a friend and dont want to see himhurt down the road when she isnt such a DADDYS GIRL cause of all the crap shes been thru I dont want it to get to that point before he realizes IM RIGHT! I care more of what its gonna do to my daughter and her future but I dont want to see either of them go thru what I have with my dad because still to this day my dad and I havent really repaired out relationship we have both tried many times I did when I was very young and then again when I became a mommy and we havent got it together so I just cant stand to watch my daughter go thru it too! wow thats the 2 time tonight Ive vented on this subject thanks it helps to get it out!
• United States
21 Jul 07
Very well put! Way to give the half stepping daddies some manners. Let the kids live! Give em there day and learn to care more! We know not what we do to our children until they are grown! The only sad thing is that these daddys are so bootleg some of them will never know, what this all means. I think its time to stop acting like we cant do this job or need some form of help and just rise up and start doing the job correctly!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 07
KUDOS TO that!! Very well said indeed. My girls go through the same situation. It's been like this since day 1. My youngest one time broke my heart when she waited and waited and like you said passed on a few events just to spend the time with her dad. That day he never showed up and she fell asleep with her dad's picture beside her. After I saw this I promised I would never let this happend to them again. But it has, it's so inevitable sometimes because he is their father and he will make promises and unfortunately not keep them. Nowadays when they plan something with him, I still go out with them and I tell them to have their dad call them when he's on his way to the house. This way if he doesn't show up, at least we did something together. I swear I've told him the things he's done to them, but unfortunately he seems to think it's all my fault for leaving him. As ususal they blame others, but themselves. Meanwhile he has 2 more kids.
1 person likes this