Remote Control relationship what do you think?

@liranlgo (5748)
Israel
July 21, 2007 2:50pm CST
I got involved in a 'remote control' relationship, with an older person then me that lives in the u.s. I usually do not believe in those kinds of relationship, but he seems like a nice sensitive person, and he said that he wants to meet me and will come to israel, when i will tell him. He is older then me in 10 years and has two teenage children from his previous marriage. What do you think of 'remote control' relationships? Do you think that i should give it a chance or that i should leave it and find someone that is closer to me geographically. One more thing, he said that if we will get along, he is ready to come back and live in israel. What do you think of that?
2 people like this
9 responses
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
21 Jul 07
What does your heart tell you my friend? I know I shouldn't teach you to suck eggs but weigh up the pros and cons, and remember you only get one chance in life! You already see the relationship for what it is and are going into it with eyes wide open, you know the score, be happy my dear friend and do what YOUR heart tells you and enjoy if it lasts then great! But take it slowly, tut what am I like eh Mr Careful!
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
Wolfie my friend you always have a way of letting me feel good about different situations in my life and i thank you for that. I will be careful, you can count on that my friend:)
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
23 Jul 07
Thank you mooch:) My heart dosnt really tell me anything yet, i usually feel when i get to meet the person in reality. But i do give him an opportunity to start somthing:)
• United States
22 Jul 07
I personally do not trust online romances and long distance relationships usually do not work unless the couple has been together a long time and knows how to keep the romance alive from afar.
3 people like this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
You've got a point here. Thank you raha
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
22 Jul 07
I think that platonic long distance love is very good up to the point when you are going to meet each other. Living together involves much more than just platonic love. Also keep in mind that he has two kids. I wouldn't worry about the fact that he is older, but it can be really difficult for you to deal with his kids. I am not saying that it will not work; it can be not easy...
3 people like this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
Yes i know pola, and you said some important things. All of my relationships were long and we always lived with each other, and met personally. I do not know if there is a real chance for this relationship that i described and i know that i will know only when i meet him. I do not worry about his age or the children much. I always get along with children and they both live with his x-wife, and they are divorced for ten years already. I think that i will really know when i meet him, and that will have to be soon, i do not intend to spend months on months on the phone, i don't support realtionships that way.
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I think it's cool that he wants to meet you. Do what you think it's right and if it doesn't feel right you should tell him. I have always heard that things can happen but do becareful.
3 people like this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
I will be careful. Thank you grl:)
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Sorry but I'm not sure what you mean by "remote control" relationship. If you mean that he is very manipulative and controls everything in your life, that's not a very good sign. If you mean long distance relationship, well, there's nothing wrong with that. It just so happens that you're in a certain place and he's in a different place. So give it a chance and see what happens.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
Well i meant it geographically. I will give it a chance. Thanks wise:)
21 Jul 07
What happened to the person you liked liranglgo? (the one you was going to ask out?) :( I can't say, I don't know the situation and it really depends on many things. Normally I suggest listening to how you both feel, example a friend of mine from canada liked someone from texas. (they both had kids) with a mother and father who'd also miss them, so they didn't do it. It's nice to hear he's ready to move back, maybe it could work? ~Joey
2 people like this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
Hey joey nice that you remember. i still like the other guy that i wanted to date. but he really has a real tough time with dealing with intimacy, and that is a big problem. he is a very close person and he does not let anyone in, and that is a big problem. I still like him very much and i do see him almost every day at work, i can tell you that as i know him more i like him more, but as i see he can not handle a relationship right now, cause he can not trust people, and he won't go for therapy and solve it, and i can not start somthing when the other person does not want to solve things.. I wish he would. About the remote control relationship i guess i will know if we can get along and if i really like him, only when we will meet.
1 person likes this
22 Jul 07
That is a toughy. Sometimes we guys can't trust, until we're reassured things don't slip onto others. I know it's different but I wish you a great deal of happiness =) ~Joey
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
23 Jul 07
Thank you joey those are kind words:)
• United States
22 Jul 07
This is not a impossible relationship but it is a very hard one. As I am sure you are aware of you need to proceed with caution. The age difference is not a big thing. But if he is ten years older than you some of his views may be different than yours as far as the way to raise children. You can not know in one meeting even if he stays for a few weeks whether you are compatiple or not. Remember most of the time when people meet for the first time they put their best foot forward. I know you have kept in touch by way of remote control but remember that meeting in person face to face is different. I hope this works out for you but just be careful is all I am saying. If it does work out that would be romantic and something to remember always. You didn't whether you have children also or not.
2 people like this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
yes you are right in all that you have said. I already told him that if we like each other , I expect us to be geographically close, because i do not intend to have a remote control relationship. A serious relationship is also the most important thing for him, so he is ready to do alote to make it work. but i will know that for sure only when i meet him in person.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
23 Jul 07
I feel that you have coined up a very interesting term - "remote control" relationship. He seems to be rather sincere as of now, at least he is willing to come to israel to meet you, and more importantly he is ready to move in to Israel. If age is not a concern, I feel this is a good opportunity to check it out. Perhaps give both of you a chance and see if it works out. You have my blessings.
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
23 Jul 07
Thank you why, those are kind words:)
• Canada
22 Jul 07
Anything can work out if it is done carefully and with love. My fiance and I met over the internet (I'm in Ontario Canada, he's in Arizona). There's a few decades between us, but what the heck!! We got along great from the start, and our relationship developed from there. We are now engaged, and couldn't be happier.
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
22 Jul 07
hey danish i dod not hear from you in a long time, great having you back, and it makes me happy to hear your personal story. I am so happy for you. I do hope that my relationship will go the way yours does. Thank you:)