Am I over re-acting?
By 66jerseygirl
@66jerseygirl (3877)
United States
July 22, 2007 11:29am CST
My Dad is extremely depressed as I am.I can handle it better cause i am younger but my dad is is almost 75 and in bad health.He has heart disease which his doctor contributed to his depression cause he had no history of heart problems on either side of his family and it's gotten worse the longer we are in Florida. ONe of my dad's dreams has been to visit Disney World and it has been extremely frustrating to live in florida for 2 years and not be able to take him there. Anyway,My brother called me up to tell me him and his family are going to Disney World and can I please stop by once in awhile to check on the cats.My jaw almost hit the ground. He never even asked us if we would like to go .Even if he just asked my dad. I know my dad was devastated when he found out,I could tell by the look on his face and he doesn't need that with his health the way it is. I just cannot believe he didn't ask us if we would like to go,he knows how bad we wanted to go,especially my dad.Even if he just asked him. We didn't have the money to go but it would have made my dad feel a lot better if he had of just asked anyway .I know it 's gonna make my dad feel worse when he comes home and calls us up to rub it in our face about his trip to Disney World.Do you think I am right in being ticked at my brother or do you think I am over re acting?
4 people like this
14 responses
@AmbiePam (85421)
• United States
22 Jul 07
You are not overreacting. Even if he knew you couldn't afford it, it is only right to ask. And especially with your dad. That is thoughtless, and I wouldn't blame you if you talked to your brother about it in private. At this stage in your dad's life, he deserves better than being forgotten.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
23 Jul 07
Although I lve cats, I would be saying to your brother that you were not available to look after his cats, as you wanted to spend more time with your Father, who needed to be helped out of his depression. Maybe your brother will get the hint.
2 people like this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
27 Jul 07
i plan on talking to him . I couldn't just not check up on the cats, drake has a tendency to knock over the water bowl when left alone to long and i wouldn't want them to go without water while they were gone
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
27 Jul 07
he would have went anyway and I couldn't just leave the cats alone just to be spiteful. Drake has a tendecy to knock the water bowl over when left alone too long and I don't want the two cats to suffer to spite him .I was tempeted though
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
28 Jul 07
My dear, it is obvious that you are a giver, and very tender hearted. Your brother is very self centered. I would discuss it with him though, so you do not have a ridge between you. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
thanks for the support. He and I are gonna have a heart to heart talk. I had sole care of my mom and now my dad and no one else lifted a finger and i just think enough is enough. wish me luck!
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
29 Jul 07
i think you have every right to be upset if your brother knows how much your dad wants to go as well. i mean i can understand him not asking as well though. i dont know if it is the case but maybe he doesnt have to money to take extra people and if he asked and you said no cause we cant afford it then he would feel like he should pay. but he should of at least asked your dad i agree. i mean i am sure your dad has given up alot through the years for him so therefore i would of asked if it was me. i mean if they are already going it wouldnt be much more for your dad to go if they are driving. i hope you get to take him soon though. i went when i was a kid cause we lived there and i loved it. i want to take my kids so bad but we cant afford it. we live in arkanasas and that is a long trip. we do six falgs though. maybe you and your dad can do something nice like just something fun for the two of you. if your dad likes baseball go watch a little league game and have a nice lunch at the park. it doesnt cost anything to do that and maybe just being together having a specail day would help. your dad knows you want to see him happy i bet and if you make a big deal about it or if you seem upset that will upset him so try to let it go and just make a day for the two of you to remember.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I do hope that we can go. My dad and i are trying to move back to new jersey and that would be a nice thing to do.he wouldn't be able to stay all day cause of his health but at least he would get to see it. It's the money situation though.. we're trying to move so that doesn't leave much to save
@filmbuff (2909)
• United States
23 Jul 07
That is a really crappy thing for him to do. I'm in agreement with your first responder... call your brother and tell him to take your father. Don't take "no" for answer and it he won't acquiesse, inform him that you will not be taking care of his animals.
It's terrible when familes do this. I watched this happen with my grandparents. My parents were the only ones in the immidiate family who were willing to help them with anything. They shouldered the entire burden and it's just not right. This is your and his father, he should have some respect for his father taking care of him all those years.
Inform him that it's time he stepped up and made his father proud.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
It's a little too late.one of the suggestins was to not check on the cats but i can't make the cats suffer to get back at him. He and I are going to have a little heart to heart. there's a lot of things i'm gonna get off my chest
1 person likes this
@UjalaRA (26)
• Pakistan
2 Aug 07
NOT AT ALL...you are so not over reacting!!!
How rude was that of him!! You should make him realize the seriousness of this. I wonder how people can forget about their parents when it's THEY who brought them up wid utter difficulty, did they ever leave their children and become selfish wid their own happiness no NEVER EVER..!!
I feel so sorry for your dad, but he must be so proud of you :)
You should talk to your bro.
Always be with your dad! My best wishes are wid u.
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
4 Aug 07
I have.Don't know what good it did. I think my dad will feel much better when we move back to New Jersey.It's much cooler there and me and my dad will have a lot more to do up there.
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
22 Jul 07
I think that was rude of your brother to not at least ask you both if you would like to go or not. To me it sounds like since your brother knew about your dad's health, that is why he did not ask you two to go. I hope that your dad will be able to go to Disneyworld. Your dad may not get another chance to visit Disneyworld so your brother should have asked at least.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
25 Jul 07
if it was just that ,I would have thought that he was thinking of my dad's health,but he was like that when we all lived in jersey.we were never invited to anything hardly
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 07
He's a bad son! I am very pissed off after hearing about this. What type of a son is your brother? Urghh!! Request to meet him face to face on that instance. Tell him how bad he is being a son, and that he must ask your father to come along with him. He doesn't have to bring you, and you would say you would never go anywhere using his money because your pride is more valuable than his money. But don't let your father know about this, it will break his heart.
If your brother is really a bad son, he won't take along your father no matter what. So plan B is, you must make an effort to save a little money. Do this everyday. Little by little, you save the money until it is enough to bring your father to DisneyWorld. I know you would do this. If there is a will, there's a way. God will show you the way. Have faith friend, and good luck!
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
He's not a bad son,sometimes he helps out my dad a lot,it's just that sometimes he is just insensitive and this was one of those moments. Hegave my dad a real nice birthday ,guess it's his way of trying to make up for it
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
23 Jul 07
Yes, I do think you are right to be mad at your brother. It is a very selfish act. He must know your Father is not in gooid health & depressed.
The least he could have done is asked to take your Father too, even if you missed out. What your brother should really have done, is not only offered to take your Father, but he should have offered to pay for him to go.
What a self centred man yoyur brother is!
Is there anything you can say to him?
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
27 Jul 07
nothing really . the family has never thought what i said what was of importance but he is gonna hear from me.he is the one that wanted us to move down here so my dad moves down here , and if we don't call or visit ,my poor dad would never hear from him
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Well we each have our own opinions and nobody is ever really 100% wrong when it comes to opinions of the heart. I dont really blame you for being upset but hopefully your brother had his reasons for not asking your father to go. I cant imagine what they were but it is a thought. I know when my Father in law was so sick and on oxygen. He had a pacemaker put in and lung disease on top of other health problems. All the rest of his children thought he should just stay home and rest. We thought that he needed loved and family more than anything else. We invited him to go on the nine hour drive to see our daughter. He went and he loved it. He put his feet inthe ocean for hte first time in his life adn it was with his great granddaughter. He was so excited.
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
ahh,i wish I could have seen that. That sounds so nice. I dont' know why my brother didn't ask but I hope to find out as he and i are gonna have a talk. I have been shouldering the care of first my mom and now my dad and enough is enough.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
23 Jul 07
You are not over re-acting, you are just worried on your dad. You are concerned of what your dad will be feeling about it. I am sorry but i have to tell you that i hate your brothers attitude. Me i am very close to my family and if one of the sibs acted that way i will confront them. the cats are more important to him than your father or even you? What kind of brother he is. but anyway my apology to what i responded, he is still your brother, i am just comparing what will i feel about it.
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
My bro and I are gonna have a serious talk.there are things that he has to realize and stuff I need to get off my chest.thanks for the support
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
23 Jul 07
no way are you over reacting.i'd be madder than hell if my brother pulled that,knowing my father had always wanted to go.
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
I was .I felt so bad for my dad. He gave my dad a beautiful birthday yesterday .guess he was trying to make up for it b ut my dad's still hurt
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Nope ..you're not over-reacting...that is a real crummy thing on your brother's part...he no doubt knew how much your father in particular would have loved to have gone to Disney World...He should have realized, that with your dad's health problems, that he may not have much longer and it would have been such a great gesture on your brother's part to say, "Hey, dad want to come with us?" Think your brother is being inconsiderate, non-thinking and downright selfish...Hope you don't get mad at me for saying this btw.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
27 Jul 07
no,I am not mad at you for speaking your mind. I love my brother dearly but sometimes he can be really insensitive.I just wish i could afford to take him myself
@cybermom45 (196)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Whether your Dad was sick or not, your brother was extremly ungracious and rude not to ask and pay for your Dad at least to go. Does he not remember who gave him life,supported him, raised him etc.? I get really irritated at ungrateful, kids who put their parents on the back burner when they start living on their own. NO, you are not overreacting and should tell your brother what an ungratefull jacka$$ he is.
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Jul 07
He took me and my dad out for my dad's birthday and was wondering if he is trying to make up for it.
