Who usually pays?

United States
July 24, 2007 2:52pm CST
As an adult, who usually pays when you go out to eat with your parents? My dad is visiting with us right now and he always tries to pay for meals when we go out to eat. Sometimes we are lucky enough to grab the bill from him, but most of the time he insists on paying. He comes to visit once or twice a year, so we really don't see him as often as we would like. I do enjoy treating him to lunch or dinner sometimes though.
20 people like this
71 responses
@rusty2rusty (6765)
• Defiance, Ohio
24 Jul 07
When it comes to my mother..I pay. As she has even a smaller income that my family does. It may not be much. But it is something I feel is my duty. As she gave me plenty of food growing up.
4 people like this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Usually when we have visitors whether friends, family and or parents, we usually pay if we dine out first couple of times. If they offer then we don't refuse especially if they get upset about it (my parents do and friends as well). We don't mind treating either nor do we mind being treated.
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
We are also living far away from my parents and they just visit us also once or twice a year, and of course stay with us for a week or so, so you're asking about who pay whenever we go out for lunch well its always me the one in charge. Its okay for me, its only my way and my time to treat them.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
25 Jul 07
yup if he spent the money to come see ya you should grab the bill from him or go to a place that you pay up front and get in line first like all you can eat buffet. Thats what we do here with every one that comes to visit
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 07
Oh, my dad is horrible about this! He never lets any of his children pay for the meal when we go out to eat with him, even going so far as insisting that he will take care of the tip. Most of us have just accepted this fact, and don't try to fight with him about it anymore. I know that in my dad's case, it is because he feels like he doesn't really get a chance to do much for his kids, since we are all adults now.
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
25 Jul 07
Yes of course you do want to treat your parents when possible, and I guess as a parent we like to treat our kids as often as we can too. It warms my heart to hear you're so close. I was 25 when I lost my dad and God knows how I wish I could buy him lunch too. Just enjoy your time with dear ol' dad as long as you can hon. Time is short.
@DanaMark (807)
• United States
25 Jul 07
It seems like parents always like to pay for their children. When my parents were alive, they always wanted to pay when we went out to eat. Now it seems appropriate when we take our son and his family out that we pay the bill. I don't think there is any rule for it. We used to take turns picking a new place to eat on Monday nights. Then we took turns paying. They now have two little ones, so we don't eat out very much anymore. On Monday nights they come to our house and eat a home-cooked meal. So we're still paying. lol.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
25 Jul 07
This reminds me of a time when my favorite uncle was visiting from England and I took him to a restaurant and insisted on paying. The server thought that he was my boyfriend. :-) In this day and age he could've been as he's only 18 years older than me. In answer to your question...my Dad usually pays. I don't complain. :-)
@raychill (6530)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Oh...If I go out to dinner my parents always pay. I'm 25, but I still don't have all the money in the world so going to a restaurant besides fast food and/or denny's, I barely have enough to pay for my meal yet alone 2 others! When I get more money, I wouldn't mind paying for my parents once in a while, but I think it all depends on who invites who out. My parents always invite me out, so in my mind they should pay! if I invited them out, I'd pay.
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
24 Jul 07
It is always a battle with us! For instance, when my oldest son and his wife are home visiting, I often take them out to eat. They always attempt to pay and my daughter-n-law has been known to 'go to the restroom' and side track the server and ask for the ticket!!!! We have a constant battle! (it has actually become humorous to see who can outwit whom!) When hubby and I go out with my parents, (who live here in town) we sometimes grab the bill and other times each couple pays for their own.
2 people like this
@creematee (2810)
• United States
24 Jul 07
I agree! My parent's are pretty easy about things. They pay sometimes, but if we insist, they let us pay. (it's usually the more expensive meals that we pay for. LOL!) My in-laws on the otherhand are the ones that we wrestle to the ground with. I don't know if it's because they still believe they are the providers or what. It does get frustrating, like you said, though. It can be very difficult to wrestle that bill out of the parent's hands. I have asked the server before she even starts taking orders to bring the bill over to me so I am the one to pay the bill. We've learned to make the deal that if she lets me pay, she can leave the tip. For some reason, this will satisfy her a little, although begrudgingly. :) I vow, when my kids are older and take me out to eat, to let them pay for each and every meal! They owe me a lifetime of meals and cooking, don't they? LOL!!!
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 07
For me it is fairly simple if I am the one who invites the others for a meal then I pay if they invite me then they pay. Everyone who knows me knows there are no exceptions.
2 people like this
@addysmum (1225)
• Canada
24 Jul 07
My Mom says that its the parents right to pay for the kids meals. When we used to go our with her parents they would pay and now when we go our with my parents they pay. We have stopped even trying to get the bill, Mom says when my kids grow up we will have to pay that is the rule in my family.
2 people like this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Whwn my mother visit she always wanted to pay but i feel that I should pay since she is visiting but who can we argue? Anyway maybe you can tell your father that you would like to pay for since he is visiting if he says no then let him pay.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 07
My Mom and step-dad usually pay. In-Laws though its usually just each pays for their own it seems. We do treat both to lunch or dinner sometimes if it hits right and we can.
2 people like this
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
24 Jul 07
It all depends usally my dad will always pay for dinner even if we try and give him money he always throws it back at me, I usally treat my parents to lunch
2 people like this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
24 Jul 07
My husband's parents are more than happy to let us pay when we see them. lol My dad doesn't like eating out, so we usually just get something to go for him when we go out when we are home, or we just order pizza or something. Then it just depends on who picks it up. If I or my husband picks it up, we pay, if it's my mom, she does. My parents do always try to give us money to pay us back when we pick up food, though. I just went home last month for my sister's wedding. I took my mom out to eat once while we were home, and she actually let me pay for everything. I was really surprised.
2 people like this
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
27 Jul 07
I think it is great that you enjoy treating your dad. But he sounds as though he wants to do the same for you. We have the same trouble with my hubbys mum. She always insists on paying for everything. But when we insist on paying, she seems to be a bit hurt. Maybe it is because they are from a different generation, i dont know. Just enjoy his company while he is there. Best wishes to you, daycarepal
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
27 Jul 07
Usually my parents pay as well, even though I am also grown up. I try to pay as well, but usually I am not allowed to do it. =) I live close to them though and just like u, every once in a while I am able to pay =)
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
26 Jul 07
My parents, always. No questions. No ifs, no ands, no buts. But then again they are comfortable enough financial wise to pay instead of me. I think they also have the mentality of taking care of their little girl, even though I'm not so little anymore.
1 person likes this