Parenting Advice

@makingpots (11922)
United States
July 25, 2007 4:51pm CST
I am reposting this and will leave out words that may cause I mature content tag. I really want advice on this: My almost 3 yr old son has developed a fascination with my chest in the last 3 or 4 months. I tried ignoring it assuming it would go away. If anything it is getting worse. I want to be careful how I handle this because I don't want to form any shame for him surrouning the n*ked body. A little background. He was breastfed for a year but there were no issues with wheaning. He decided on his own and one day did not want it anymore. My husband and I do not make a big deal about being n*ked in front of each other or him and never have. He showers with us on a regular basis. And here is the odd part.... he makes no notice of my chest in the shower. But lately when I am around the house, comfortable and without undergarments he decides he wants to explore and play. I have always just said, "No, those are not for playing" and just walked away. Now, it is getting worse and he tries to sneak up on me and pinch them. We don't even play any kind of pinching games with him. We wonder how he even thinks to pinch them. I know that now I need to be proactive and do something to let him know it has to stop (last night he really got me good... his daddy had to leave the room so he couldn't see him laughing). Please, I could use some advice. I want to handle this delicately.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@qouniq (1968)
• Malaysia
26 Jul 07
One thing which I really wanna tell you is that we as an adult are not good to be n*ked in front of the kids when they have reach their 2 year age. It is ok for you to be n*ked in front your husband and for him in front of you but not to the kids.
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Yeah, I agree. When it reaches that age, it seems a bit inappropriate. I know that we want to teach our kids that body parts are "gross" or something BAD, but we also need to teach them that your body parts are something you should keep covered up in front of others. If he continues to touch you and gets the idea that that is ok to do, he may go to school and do the same to other girls, which could end up in a law suit.
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
26 Jul 07
AREN'T gross, I mean.
@qouniq (1968)
• Malaysia
26 Jul 07
Yeah, that's what I am trying to tell actually, that everything are from the parent. We should teach them the right thing to do and not to show them but telling them that it is not good when they start to do it.
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Wow, that would make me extremely uncomfortable. I would probably tell him that it hurts and that those are not things that you touch on other girls. He needs to learn that or I'm afraid he might do it to teachers at pre-school.
@qouniq (1968)
• Malaysia
27 Jul 07
I think if it's happen to me, then I will slap his hand softly as a warning that he should not do that. I just don't understand here but in our culture, we are very seldom to experience such things with our small boy. We don't show our body parts to our kids even though they are still a baby (under 2 age). And I very surprise that most of the respondent here said that it is happen to most of the boys...and this is a boy phase...
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
27 Jul 07
yes, mkirby it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't mean to say that we laugh in a way that we think it is cute or even funny that he is doing it. My husband and I both see the seriousness in this and want to be sure to handle it appropriately. I have the very same concerns about pre-school. I also have concerns for him having a healthy sense of body image as he grows up.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
27 Jul 07
qouniq, well, I don't really spank my son's hands but I do know what you are saying. I have not wanted to give him a response (either a slap or what ever I choose) because it seems clear that he is doing it for a reaction from me. I had hoped by receiveing no reaction he would stop doing it. I tend to think that most misbehavior from children is in someway a cry for attention.
@GardenGerty (99326)
• United States
27 Jul 07
Now is a good time for him to be told that a person's body is their own, and not for teasing or hurting. Carry it far enough that you tell him your body is your thing, and his body, all of the parts, are his, and he is not to touch you in a hurting way, and you will not touch him in a hurting way either. That kind of behavior is "not okay". Be consistent, and maybe it is time to be more modest around him, so he knows that there are no boundaries. I do wonder where he has gottent the idea of pinching, though.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
27 Jul 07
Thank you, Gert I value your responses. Yes, it is definitely time to be more modest around him. This is a learning opportunity for sure and I want to get it right. Puzzled about the pinching as well. We have noticed a keen sense of observation in him. He sees things once and picks it right up. It could have been a split second show of affection from my husband one time and if he happened to catch it..... who knows?
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
25 Jul 07
I'd have to agree, it'll just be a phase, next thing you know he'll be comparing his willy with his Dad's because he'll know they have the same parts, i think it's just something that kids do - maybe more so with boys but i wouldn't be too concerned :) Do what the other myLotter did & make sure you tell him it hurts, then he'll know that he's hurting his Mummy & will stop. It might take a little bit but he'll get there & his fascination will stop as quickly as it started. If you don't think it's getting any better, try a reasonably loud 'OW' noise when he touches them so he KNOWS it hurts Mum when pinched & he'll get the idea. I hope he grows out of this phase soon, but please don't be too concerned, he's just learning about things & needs to know they're not for playing with :) Good Luck!
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I do feel better and think that I will no longer be concerned after hearing from you all about it. I told him today that he hurt mom when he did that and he put his arm around my neck and "Aww, it's okay mommy". Constantly makes me smile!!!