Physical, mental and verbal abuse, which one can you tolerate?

@ellie26 (4128)
Malaysia
July 25, 2007 8:30pm CST
All the above are bad thing to happen to anyone. But I think I cannot tolerate the mental and verbal abuse. If I were physically abuse, probably I will have pain and bruises or even death. But with mental and verbal abuse, I will be hurt emotionally and finally it will affect my mental state and soon I would probably end up in a mental institution. Whats your opinion on this?
8 people like this
20 responses
@flpoolbum (2405)
• United States
26 Jul 07
My father preferred psychological terror. He would make us stand at attention in the kitchen for hours on end without moving (he could see us from the living room) and he would come into the room and scream so hard that the veins in his head and neck seemed like they were throbbing then go back and watch TV then come scream at us again this would go on and on through the night. All of my siblings and I wished more than once he would just hit us and get it over with. He other favorite was constantly telling us we ruined his life, that we were mistakes, that he would have done so well in life it it wasn't for us. He use to constantly drill into our minds how worthless he thought we were and how we would never amount to anything. (I should mention that all of my siblings and I have suffered depression throught out our lives and at least a couple of us are bi-polar. One of my sister's theraphist's says we all suffer from post tramatic stress disorder.) I think that my father was bi-polar as he was a raving lunatic one moment and become perfectly calm in a short time.
4 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
26 Jul 07
Hi flpoolbum. I think it is just sad that some parents throw out all their anger to their children. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
This is terrible. It remins me a great deal of the story I have just finished reading about the Magdalen Laundries in Ireland. I am sure your Father has something very wrong with him. What was your Mother doing whilst all this terrible abuse was going on? My husbands father also abused his 6 children, & most now suffer from Depression, & one is Bi-Polar.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
26 Jul 07
Hello ellie26! There has been a period in my life when physical was something very common for me. In those days it was hardly a case that I am without any injury or some other problem. Most of the time it was for some elevated purpose, for some cause, a good reason or against aggressors. So, though it was painful yet quite enjoyable, if you know what I mean. I have had some problems for personal reasons too but I have always been fortunate to come out of most dreadful experiences. I have been through verbal abuse too and this too hadn't affected me much. Though it's more painful than the physical abuse as sometimes one is accused of something one never deserved but still it was and is acceptable to a great degree. I try to avoid the people who are often verbally abusive and walk off if encountered with such a situation. I have confronted sometimes though especially when this abuse is directed to someone else. I rarely counter or confront, if someone abuses just me personally. Mental abuse is no doubt the most painful abuse that one can have. It not only disturbs the thought process but also psychologically and physically too as mind is what controls everything and if it's not fine or under stress, one can't work properly. One thing that specially puts me off mentally is when I lose trust in someone or when I am deceived by a friend. But time heals every thing and one should get going:-)
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
26 Jul 07
Hi kamran12! I'm sorry but what do you mean by "painful yet quite enjoyable?"
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
26 Jul 07
It is natural that you asked this question. I was myself thinking that it may not be quite clear, so I'll try to explain it especially with examples. Sometimes, there is a conflict between physical and emotional sensing of some external stimulus. A pain becomes enjoyable and pleasurable when it is caused by something that satisfies our psychological, emotional, mental, spiritual, or any other higher level goals or feelings. Like, a mother giving birth to a child, feeling physical pain, also experiences emotional pleasure of having her own loved child. We can lay our lives for some loved one and will feel pleasure in doing so. A soldier bearing and tolerating injuries and wounds for the love of his/her country and feeling proud of it. Going through physical hardship for gaining the spiritual pleasure are examples of what I said earlier. I hope it will be a little clearer. If you still have something that I couldn't explain properly because of my lack of skill, please do tell me. I'll love to explain further:-) I just hope that I am understandable!
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
17 Aug 07
thanks for the best response, ellie26!:-)
@patgalca (13962)
• Orangeville, Ontario
26 Jul 07
If you have physical abuse then you automatically have mental and verbal abuse. I had all three when I was married to my first husband. I will not tolerate anyone speaking down to me or disrespecting me. And they sure as heck better not raise a hand on me. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. My EX yelled at me that if he had a bullet he would shoot me. I think that falls under all three categories. I like to think I bounced back from all this but it can't help but affect my life every day and how I deal with people, especially my husband. I won't be treated like that again. Though the bruises have healed and the hair has grown back in, I can feel the pain from 15 years ago as if it was yesterday. People just don't know how much harm they are doing to people when they hurt them physically, emotionally and verbally. Even putting down your kids is verbal and emotional abuse which can turn to physical abuse if they become ill because of it. I don't think any of them are acceptable.
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I don't think I could tolerate either of them. Abuse is abuse to me whether its verbal, mental or physical.
1 person likes this
• China
27 Jul 07
These are really bad things that can happen to anyone.But I think I would tolerate any of them.Abuse of any sort is emotionally damaging and scarring.
@miketomeo (124)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Both are unacceptable. My best friend had both so it's hard to distinguish. As a child, I was subjected to verbal abuse, and as an adult, I see it's damage. It's like watching a child grow. You don't see the changes day to day, but if you look at it years later - how it's grown.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Jul 07
AS YOU RIGHTLY SAID ONE AN TOLERATE PHYSICAL ABUSE BUT MOST OF THEM CANNOT TOLERATE MENTAL AND VERBAL ABUSE. PEOPLE ARE OF DIFFERENT KINDS SOME ARE HABITUATED WITH LOOSE TALKS WHICH THEY ABUSE OTHERS WITH VERBAL ABUSE AND THEY REFUND WITH SAME FROM OTHERS WILL NOT AFFECT THEM SERIOUSLY BUT UNWANTEDLY IF A PERSON IS ABUSED WITH VERBAL ABUSE THEY ARE MENTALLY AFFECTED. AS LONG AS MYSELF I CANT TOLERATE VERBAL ABUSE..kgirish2004@yahoo.co.in
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11347)
• Philippines
26 Jul 07
i can tolerate the mental and verbal abuse rather than the physical abuse. because i don't want to be physically abused. i don't want to have bruises, scars that can be seen by many people. i'd rather choose the mental and verbal abuse it may hurt too much but the scar and pain is hidden.
• Canada
26 Jul 07
All I can say is that I experienced each one of them and I feel the verbal abuse was the hardest to get over! Did anyone else feel that way?
1 person likes this
@jlara_gtr34 (3493)
• Philippines
26 Jul 07
hi there! ;0 i must commend you on your question, it is really mind boggling. :) it made me pause and think, ya know. anyway, i think i can tolerate verbal abuse best. you see, i have a thin body frame and i have fair skin so i guess i really cant tolerate physical abuse since it would really show on my body and my face. lolz. as for the mental abuse, i really cant tolerate that too because i am a bit on the obsessive compulsive side and i go a bit cranky if i go thinking a whole lot, if i am mentally abused or challenged, i get uneasy. lolz.
• United States
26 Jul 07
I am a rare breed. I can handle all like compliments. Unless I'm bored, then I act in the best manner fitting the situation. For verbal abuse, quick and sometimes witty comebacks. For mental, I just bring up their problems and make them feel like sh!t. For physical, well, lets just say torture is the least of their problems :D LONG LIVE THE PSYCHOPATHETIC INTELLECRUALS!!!! Hehehe
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16739)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
26 Jul 07
As a person who has been a victim of all these as well as other kinds of abuse, I'd take verbal over any of these. I can always just not listen if I have to, I can learn not to hear the voices, I can learn to go into my own mind and not listen. After having lived through horrific abuse as a child, I have come to a point in my life where there is very little anyone could say to me that could hurt me. However, if a person were abusive towards me, in any way, I wouldn't take it. As a child I didn't have a choice but to remain in an abusive situation... as an adult I will never let anyone hurt me again.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
Last night we had friends around. The wife is being bullied at work, & it is very bad. We had a long talk about abuse. My husband, a Police Officer is finding that bullying at work is very much on the increase. It is hard to say wehich is worse. I guess serious phusical abude is devestating. But emotional abuse, which includes bullying, has serious long term side effects. My husband was emotionally abused by his ex wife, & I believe that it has had long term effects on him.
@abroji (3247)
• India
27 Jul 07
Any of the three types of abuses may harm us badly. Physical abuse cause damage not only to the body, but the mind too. So any abuse against a person virtually causes the mental balance of a person. However I rely upon God and with the help of God am able to bear any. Thank you ellie.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
26 Jul 07
As for me , I just cannot stand abuses of any kind - physical, mental or verbal. This is because , I try not to behave improperly to anyone..then why must I bear abuses of any sort from anyone.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
26 Jul 07
To be honest I can't tolerate any abuse! No one should. Physical abuse always has mental abuse involved. It emotionally hurts the person deeply. I think what is harder to prove and to recognize is mental and verbal abuse that do not contain the physical abuse. That sort of abuse is not worse...it is equal...the only difference is that there are no physical bruises. Abuse of any sort is emotionally damaging and scarring.
@tdeb83 (2)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I don't think that I will be able to tolerate any of them. They are all collectively horrible. Especially the physical abuse. To know that someone hits on you to make a point or to feel that they are the bigger person, that just doesn't fly with me.
• United States
26 Jul 07
I would not tolerate any of them. We all get angry and maybe say or do things we dont mean. Once is a mistake but if it continues it is abuse, and that is something I would never tolerate. For me physical abuse is the worst. We were taught you dont ever put your hands on someone else, unless you are defending yourself. Verbal abuse, for me they are just words and words dont mean a thing to me, unless i choose to let it. But as I said no one should have to tolerate any form of abuse whatsoever.
@nangel78 (1459)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Having been exposed to all of them, I think they are all bad. Being underminded and dealing with the mental abuse though has effects for years. It is hard to overcome that. It is possible, but takes a lot of time. I am working through that now with someone who interferred in my life who undermined everything I had going on. He made me feel even worse about myself and what I thought. Nobody should have to deal with that.
@diillu (5130)
26 Jul 07
These are really bad things that can happen to anyone. But I think above these all I can tolerate physical and verbal abuse. But mental abuse would really be hard to me as I have the habits of taking things seriously. Physical bruise can heal after some months and verbal abuse can also be forgotten but mental abuse I think it will be too hard to forget it.