What are the disadvantages of being over protective

Philippines
July 25, 2007 11:48pm CST
I am asking this question because I have a feeling that I am becoming over protective to my children. What do you think are the limits parent should have in protecting their children. What effects would being over protective bring to the kids we are protecting and what would be the effect of it on us?
6 people like this
32 responses
@golfproo (1841)
• Canada
29 Jul 07
Hi, I have always struggled with the tendency to be overprotective. I think it is a totally natural thing to be as a parent and takes a lot of work to get away from. We all want to keep our kids safe at all times. However, by overprotecting them we are not always teaching them how to cope and survive on their own. They will need those skills as they go on in life. If they are always counting on us to be there to save the day, they will never learn how to save their own day. None of us can guarantee we will always be there. That is something I have learned...but it is still a struggle for me. cheers,
1 person likes this
@dude007 (63)
• India
26 Jul 07
Dont be too protective ....its may not be a good impact on ur children......just calm and try to understand wat they njoy and watch them properly.......may be they are behaving good in front of u but when they are getting freedom they are doing some stuffs which are not permissible.......try to become their frnd dont be too harsh for them
• Malaysia
20 Sep 07
Being over protective to your kids will give a negative impact later in your relationship with them. I've seen overly protective mother who never allows her daughter to go anywhere. She couldn't go for a school trip, not even go to her girl friend's house and spend the night there just for one fun night, and can't even stay back and do school projects. In short she had turned her daughter into a person who is lack of social skills, and made her daughter feel unloved. Her daughter told me that she thinks her mother doesn't love her because her mother didn't allow her to learn new things. While socializing is a very important skill nowadays which determines the success of our children in the future. Paper qualification and book intelligence only is not enough. Well, this is my experience based on what I see as a living proof. I believe you are not doing that to your kids. Being protective is alright in most times, but there has to be a room for the kids to grow and learn. Have a nice day, my friend.
@subathra (3519)
• India
20 Sep 07
I feel over protecting will lead the childrens loosign their confidence level.they will expect parents to come with them even for a simple issue.They will not be having a self confidence and thinking ability as parents help them and monitor them all time. offcourse parents should always keep and eye in their children but only to some extent and give them some space so that when they grow up they can take individual decision in studies and personal life.they need chance to choose themselves.
@catbvq (364)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
The disadvantage of being over protective, is that your children will rely on you more, or be more dependent on you. They might grow up afraid of taking risks or be just a plain lazy under achiever because they feel that you're always there backing them up. They will also develop a fear of failing, unable to handle complex situations and would not be able to fight their own battles. Let them explore things by themselves, but be at their side and quick to come by when they need your help.
@magica (3710)
• Bulgaria
3 Aug 07
The over protecting mothers usually destroy the independency of their children.Theese children dont know how to think, to assert their interests, to have own life experiences.Well.They will make a lot of mistakes, but the life consists of mistakes and lessons.So one over protecting mother cant prevent this.She just can make them too submissive or at last they will rebel.
@williamjisir (22902)
• China
3 Aug 07
Being overprotective to our kids will only make them more timid and dependable on us parents. We should let the kids develop their sense of protecting themselves by themselves for a better personality. If we keep on overprotecting the kids, it will make them afraid to step into the society later when they are adults, I guess.
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
31 Jul 07
Speaking of the experience, being over protective over your children is never a good idea at all. The disadvantage would be they can't do what they want because the parents always thing that isn't a good idea. Sometimes you got to let your children make their own mistakes that is how they are going to learn from them. Being over protective parents doesn't really prepare your children for the world. They are going to have to leave home someday and without proper guidance, they will not make it out there for too long.
@BlueAngelRS (2900)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
I will be the first to admit that I am somewhat over protective of my children...But I have two children and one step son and they have a huge age gap..My son being my oldest I have learnt sometimes to sit back and let him experience things for himself..But am there to listen to give him advice to get through certain situations and teach from right and wrong...Sometimes the best lessons taught are when they are experienced...I've been told that if you are too over protective that our children will not learn to defend themselves in a bad situation...When they get older that is
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I’m sure I am also a bit over-protective- but I must say it is a scarier world than what we grew up in- I think over-protective parents do a big disservice to their kids by not letting them realize what the real world is like- When they are old enough and get out there- life becomes hard and they haven’t dealt with that before- But I want to protect my daughter as long as I can.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I don't think there is anything wrong with being overprotective of your children. I know most of the time I am and sometimes need to be a little laid back and let my son do things without setting any boundaries. I do however want to bring him up to be independent and confident in what he does and maybe being overprotective might squash that somewhat (if you know what I mean). I think the reason why it works for me because my husband is the complete opposite and is less protective of my son and wants him to attempt things and take a bit of risk. So we sort of have a balance in that area, if you can call it that.
@youless (95327)
• Guangzhou, China
27 Jul 07
The children will become dependent and can't make up their minds by themselves. They may be less confident to themselves. And they can't be without you and they have to listen to you all the time.
@jcj_111776 (3220)
• Philippines
27 Jul 07
For one thing, being overprotective makes me paranoid at all times. And from my own experience, my actions have kept my son from exploring the world on his own. And it was true. He was generally late in his developments. He was late walking because I was too afraid that he might get hurt if I let him walk on his own, unassisted. That's just one example out of many. I now believe, that being overprotective can be a big hindrance for our kid's own judgment. For myself, I think I have robbed my son his chance of discovering the world on his own terms. He was always guided in doing almost everything because I wanted to make sure that he would always be safe. But I guess I went too far. Now, I'm trying to make it right. I still tend to get overprotective but I immediately remind myself that my son can think on his own. That I give him the freedom that he needs. I just remind myself everyday that I can still protect my son in ways that won't jeopardize his own free will. As the saying goes, hands on experiences are much better teachers in life. When I have accepted the fact that I wasn't helping my son by being overprotective, I gave him the space that he will need. I won't be hovering around him anymore, I'll just stand behind him and give my protection when he does needs it.
• Australia
27 Jul 07
If something goes wrong with the child, there;s a good chance that they will be too scared to say anything about it because of the fact that there parents are too protective and might overact in such cases.
@jennybianca (12914)
• Australia
27 Jul 07
I see a number of parents do this. In a way, it is understandable, as we want our children to be safe & protected. However, it can have it's disadvantages, as over protected children won't learn to stand up for themselves, or they won't take risks. They also lack confidence. My brother always says that I give my daughter a lot of freedom. This has not disadvantaghed her, as shje is growing up to be very sensible, thinking & aware teenager who gets very invloved in sports & challenges.
@Meljep (1668)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Children need boundaries, but they also need to learn responsibility. It's the parents duty to figure out what their own child can handle and what they can't. Your family's moral fiber should not be compromised because society says "it's alright". Ultimately you are responsible for the outcome of your child's future. You only get one shot and it's a good thing to do your best at the parenting thing.
@truartiss (386)
• United States
26 Jul 07
If you are too overprotective of your children than their going to rebel against you. There is no reason to be over protective anyway. Just raise your kids with some morals and guidelines and they will know how to act when your not with them. There are ways to protect your kids without standing over them every minute of their life telling them what, when, where, and how to do something. They need some kind of independence at least every once in awhile. But this is also depending on their age. I'm speaking about teenagers. Around the ages of 13-19. I know a girl that when she was 16. Her dad would not let her leave the house to walk around the corner without asking her a number of questions. She couldn't go to parties and she missed out on a lot of football games. I think it was ridiculous to me but I am still her friend to this day. She's a smart girl and very well-mannered. But she really wants to get out of her parents house so she can live HER life. Anyway, I hope this helps you.
@alnilam (969)
• United States
26 Jul 07
if you are too protective with your children you will by that deny them some great life experience. also they might have a lover self confidence because of that and become very insecure. i guess you will have to find the balance.
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
26 Jul 07
If you don't raise your kids to be all they can be and that they can be anything that they want to be by sheltering them and coddling them, you end up setting them up for failing or underachieving. We are to raise our children to make the right choices and take care of their business. They practice by having household chores and as they get older being able to make decisions. Being too easy on kids allows them to expect that everyone will cater to their whims. Not a good idea at all. I hope this helps you be the Mom that you are meant to be of a couple of awesome children.
@sid556 (31002)
• United States
26 Jul 07
It all depends on the ages and what they are asking for as far as freedoms etc. It is so natural as a mom to want to protect our kids from everything. It is hard to know just where to draw the line. Too much protection keeps children from experiencing parts of life that they will need later on to survive and make wise decisions. much depends on the individual child as well. I have 4 children and they were all so different.