How far do you push a child

@Vixx06 (162)
July 26, 2007 7:33am CST
It looks like my middle daughter who is only 5 has a gift for art. My ex-husband wants to get her a tutor 4 days a week to train her further. I dont agree. I feel that she is too young and should enjoy being a child. It would be awful for her to watch her sister going out to play while she has to learn. Later on when she is a bit older and knows what she wants then she could start having extra lessons. All I want for my kids is that they are happy and I feel that my ex is pushing her too hard. What do you think?
2 people like this
10 responses
@maximax8 (27048)
26 Jul 07
It is wonderful that your daughter has a talent for art. I think that it would be unwise to get her a tutor when she is just four years of age. There is plenty of time for her to enjoy art with your help. When she is about 10 years old a tutor once or twice a week might help her. But a tutor 4 times a week like your ex-husband suggests would be too often. It is important your little girl puts energy into learning to read and write. It is also important that she is happy. Would her sister feel jealous if she had a tutor? My son is 12 and he is very talented with art. He does such amazing and detailed drawings that seeing them always impresses me. I know that he wouldn't want a tutor.
@maximax8 (27048)
26 Jul 07
I see she is 5 not 4.
@Gemmygirl1 (2871)
• Australia
27 Jul 07
I think 4 days is a bit much for someone so young but perhaps you could look at an hour a day, 1 day a week - just from someone who does art as a profession or is looking to do it? Maybe an art student or something? You don't want to push too hard but you also want to make sure she learns some things if she likes art so much. Also, have as many different art supplies on hand as you can get - dollar stores are GREAT for bargain art stuff. The you could set up her own little space where she can do her thing :) Maybe you have a family member that is good at art, you could have them come around & help her get better or teach her new things & new art styles that she can try! Hopefully that's of some help to you but nah, 4 days is too much like school, once a week could be fun for her & there's nothing stopping your other daughter from joining in :) It could be a bit of a family event. Maybe you & your girls could have the 1 hour, once a week as family time where you spend it together doing fun art & craft things :)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I agree with you. She will only be a baby (okay, child) once, and I think right now she probably wants to be a kid!! She is busy learning about life and so many cool new things around her!! It is great she is so talented, but I would say to wait a bit. If it's real talent it will still be there when she is a wee bit older but more able to decide what she wants to do. :o) Maybe just supply her with a lot of art materials and so on that she can play with on her own, to cultivate her inner artist! I have heard that if you push kids too hard (even if it's something they enjoy) it turns them OFF. In this case, making her do it 4 days a week with a tutor might end up making her hate it.
@mindyja25 (181)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Well I agree that 4 days a week may be a little much for her at this age. I would say one day or even two right now may be good enough. I think if it's a gift it will come in time and she will follow it on her own but do give her everything she needs to follow it. I think in a few more years she will be able to tell you more if she wants to keep on with it. But overall yes I think 4 days a week is a little much right now.
1 person likes this
@r0ck_r0ck (1955)
• India
26 Jul 07
well i agree wat u said by dat tutor idea is not bad at all. but dat 4 days a week is too much, mayb a once a week wld b fine since shes only 5. (:
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I agree with you. You want your daughter to enjoy being a child. If she has a gift for art, let her explore her talents by herself. Get her a ton of art supplies to use when she wants. Don't push her because you may end up pushing her into not liking art. My daughter also has a gift for art. She will spend hours at a time in her art area we have made for her. She is now 7 and says that she wants to be an artist. We never pushed her into anything. We would encourage her. If she chose to play outside ~ that is great! She usually will choose doing artsy things over playing outside but as long as she is happy and active we let her make her own decisions. Training can come when she is older.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
27 Jul 07
I don't think it's a good idea to push a child like that, it will make the child run away from it. I think it would be better if you just provide what the child wants
@mayenskie (1308)
• Philippines
27 Jul 07
I understand how you feel. I do not have a child yet but i got young siblings and i was once a child myself. I know you just want your daughter not be under some pressure learning more about art. I guess you are right, she is too young. Let her explore things at her own pace for now. If she likes drawing or sketching you can buy her drawing books and color palettes to encourage her more. At this time, let her play and be a child. when she turns like 7 onward you can expose her to art group lessons, if she wants.
@Now534 (12)
• United States
27 Jul 07
let her have a life as a kid. once she gets older intorduce it into her life and ask her if she likes it. if she doesn't then just go with it. do almost any thing you can to make her happy.
@kelly60 (4550)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I think that pushing her into these lessons would be a big mistake. It very well may turn her off on art entirely. I think that you should wait until she is a little older so that she can make her own decision. In the mean time, give her lots of supplies and encouragement. Pushing her too hard will only cause resentment, and probably discourage the artist within her.