Do you easily hand out an apology just to break away from fights?
July 30, 2007 4:33am CST
Maybe it's a cowardly thing to do, apologizing just to keep yourself from trouble even though you know the person whom you're fighting or arguing with is the one who made the mistake. But sometimes, it's safe thing to do. I don't know.. I immediately apologize to people when there are conflicts so as to not make a scene or to prolong the fight. I'm tired of bickering just to win, you know? Sometimes, it's easier to say sorry and be done with it. And right now, I don't even konw whether the word "sorry" still has an essence. After all, most people say sorry half-heartedly because they have to - not want to. But this I gotta share. Whenever I'm really sorry - as in to the point that my heart's breaking because of a fault I committed to a person who doesn't deserve it - I usually do something to undo my mistake or make it up with that person. That way, I can show that person that I'm sincere in apologizing.. What about you? Mind if you share some thoughts, opinions or experiences about this matter? Thanks a lot! :)
30 Jul 07
I have to admit that I rarely get into arguments apart from with my hubby. With him, it tends to be 50/50 his fault or mine so half of the time I end up apologising but thinking about it, he doesn't actually apologise but gets all mushy and starts kissing me or cuddling me to show he's sorry but he doesn't actually say it. Outside of the home I don't really argue with people, if I need to make a point about something I will always try to do so with raising my voice or making the other person feel uncomfortable but if the other person, say a collague, looks like they're going to blow a gasket or something, I will back off as I don't think it's professional to behave like that in the workplace. I will sort it out with them later such as discussing with them with they're calmer or sending them an email getting my point across - with an email they can't interrupt what you're saying and you can say your piece and they can reply at their leisure!
30 Jul 07
"he doesn't actually apologise but gets all mushy and starts kissing me or cuddling me to show he's sorry but he doesn't actually say it." I guess he's just embarrassed to say it because its either he doesn't want to admit his mistake or he's trying to make up for fighting or arguing with you. That's probably why he shows you his affection. "I will sort it out with them later such as discussing with them with they're calmer or sending them an email getting my point across." Yup. It's better that way because there's a tendency when people are too upset, they refuse to listen. They're simply close-minded. They only think about what they know is right. "with an email they can't interrupt what you're saying and you can say your piece and they can reply at their leisure!" Of course! That's a fine way of pointing what you want to point out. If people can't listen - certainly they can read. And it's better for them to read what you have to say, read again, and finally sink the message in their brains. Lucky if they get the message. Thanks for sharing! Much appreciated.
30 Jul 07
Thanks for your comment :) I have to add that I really try to avoid arguments as much as possible as I'm rather an emotional person and lately I end up in tears after an argument with hubby no matter how trivial the argument might be. It has a lot to do with my diabetes and feeling overly emotional all the time, it doesn't take much to set me off. My hubby mostly tries not to start arguments with me but sometimes he just says something which he thinks is funny and I can't take it - I think I've lost my sense of humour a bit too much these days LOL! This is another reason I avoid arguments outside of the home, I would be mortified if I was trying to get my point across at work for example and someone raised their voice to me and I burst out in tears, how unprofessional would that be? LOL!
30 Jul 07
Yes, well... Sometimes we can't control our emotions that's why we end up getting hurt with little things. I'm glad that you try your best to avoid fights. That's the safest thing to do. Gosh, I really don't like fights either. I usually end up getting hurt or I bursting into tears. But if I'm pissed - then that's the time I usually put up with a fight.. But then again.. I'll eventually get all worned out then just apoligize if things get out of hand or I'm too tired to prove my point. LOL! Take care! :)
31 Jul 07
I will say sorry if I have to cos I don't want to be involved in any argument. However, if the other person is the one at fault, I will trash it out with him! Regards, Adrienne http://www.e-marketinghub.com http://www.e-marketing-systems.com
• United States
30 Jul 07
It all depends on what we are talking about. If it gets out of hand and I can't seem to get through to the other person, then yes I have apologised for getting them all riled up just so they can then calm down and focus on something else. Sometimes there is no way of getting through to some people and even though this may seem cowardly to some, sometimes its necessary to keep the peace. There are going to be people out there that will not listen no matter what you say, so I either back away and apologise or just leave it altogether.
30 Jul 07
Yeah. I do that a lot of times because I feel all sick and dizzy when arguements won't cease - then it all ends with everybody whining, shouting, and hammering each other out. I don't like situations to get out of hand. I mean, why argue or fight some more just to prove your point then eventually get frustrated? Might as well back off and apologize to calm the atmosphere. Like what anonymili mentioned - we can send those people emails (or letters) to say our point. That way, they won't be able to interrupt what we had to say. Right? Thanks for the response.