My father in-law wants to remarry and the lady is younger than my wife....!

@1qazxsw2 (512)
Singapore
July 30, 2007 10:49am CST
My wife and her older sister are upset and also she has to call someone younger as mum...Her dad has been a widower for 15 years and befriended this lady a couple of months back... what should I advice my wife...??
4 people like this
10 responses
• Switzerland
31 Jul 07
The question is, does your father-in-law love the girl and does the girl really love your father-in-law. Love's all that matters how awkward things may look, really.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
31 Jul 07
You should advice your father-in-law not to marry the young lady because maybe this type of lady is going to marry to your father-in-law for the sake of money. On your wife side, the new mum-to-be should not be called as mum. It should be called as auntie although she is young.
1 person likes this
@paulsy (1265)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
Well, if I were to be the future wife, I wouldn't want my future husband's children to be calling me "Mom" if they were older than I am! I think that unless your father-in-law obliges his children to call his future wife "mom", that wouldn't be necessary at all. Their acceptance of her as his wife is something I believe he would appreciate more. Afterall, he's been a widower for 15 years, and maybe it's time he had someone to love and love him back as well. My mom has been a widow for 11 years, and is soon to be married with a man who is younger than she is. We, her 8 children have accepted this relationship and we are all happy for her. We call her fiance by his first name and she has never obliged us to call him "Dad". I think this would work out well too with your wife and her sister, as long as they come to accept the happiness that your father-in-law has finally found after 15 years of being alone.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (87785)
• Marion, Kansas
30 Jul 07
If it is an otherwise good match she should not begrudge him his happiness. He has been alone too long. After I was married, when my dad remarried, I never called his wife ( he remarried more than one time) "Mom", because I never lived with her. My kids call his wife Grandma Charlotte. That is her name, if I refer to her in conversation I call her my dad's wife. I love Charlotte, but she was not my mother, and I do not have to call her Mom.
1 person likes this
@Madona1 (2097)
• Gibraltar
30 Jul 07
As you say father-in-law has been a widower for 15 years and can imagine how lonely he was for the past times. Now he is luckily to find someone else he love and wants to marry her, let him to be happy and enjoy the rest of his life. If his new wife will be younger than your wife, you wife doesn’t have to call her MUM, just call her first name, which will be easier for both parties.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 07
I agree that at this stage it shouldn't be expected for grown daughters to call a new wife 'mum'. Also, 15 years as a widower should make it clear that your wife's father is not being rash in remarrying. No matter how long he has know the lady, no matter what others personal feeling of the lady are-----I think all involved should be pleasant and friendly to this woman. Out of respect for you father in law if not for the woman herself. Also, I think good for him to have found someone he cares that much for.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Aug 07
Well, since she is younger than your wife it can be very difficult for her to accept. I can understand why she would be upset, but if her dad is happy then that's what matters. He's been alone for 15 years and he still loves her mother but he can't be alone for the rest of his life either. I'm sure that's not what her mother would have wanted for him. He found love again and that is hard to come by. I wouldn't call her mum or anything like that. I would just act as though she is a friend. My fiance' is 25 years older than me. He has kids and they are all younger than me but his first 2 are just a couple years younger than me. We are friends and we hang out and talk. The situation is a bit different since he's not a widower. Good luck to you and your wife concerning this situation
@sophylline (1042)
• Philippines
31 Jul 07
This almost same situation happened in our family also. My dad has been a widower barely a year and then started dating someone and married her after three months. This woman is the same age as my eldest sister. Can you believe? Ofcourse, it's expected we were appalled, shocked, confused and had all mixed emotions. They didn't waste time and soon enough had a baby. The baby is the same age as my only child. Can you imagine? Anyway, eventally, as time pass by, the situation will slowly be accepted. At this time, it is hard but after some time, you will somehow accept things.
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
31 Jul 07
Well, this woman is not actually your wife's mother, so therefore she shouldn't need to worry about calling her 'mum'. I certainly wouldn't be. I doubt this new woman would want to be called mum anyway. I guess it is hard knowing your dad is going to marry a younger woman, but if she makes him happy, that's got to be a good thing. But as I say, I wouldn't be calling her 'mum' for any reason!
• Canada
31 Jul 07
I would be upset about calling anyone who is NOT my mother "Mom" or anything close to that. I don't care how old or youg she is. As for myself, I am engaged to a man who is 35 years older than I am. I am younger than 9 of his 10 kids. They all just call me by my first name, and that's how e all want it. I am not a mother to them, I am their father's fiance, soon to be their father's wife. There are no problems.