Purina Diet

@twmoores (567)
United States
October 25, 2006 11:09pm CST
Purina Diet I have a Black Lab and a Brown Labr & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
2 responses
@tentwo67 (3384)
• United States
26 Oct 06
Oh my GOD that is so funny. I wish I had been there to see everyone react to it! I have to confess that I am so eager to lose weight that I might have (VERY BRIEFLY) considered it! Did this really happen or did you adapt a joke you had heard? Am I naive for asking that question? Regardless of the source that is hilarious and I really enjoyed reading it!!!!!!!
@twmoores (567)
• United States
26 Oct 06
This is something I would do. Just because some people pissed me off.
@tentwo67 (3384)
• United States
26 Oct 06
Then I'll bet you'd like this one. I have a post office box that I use as a mailing address and more cashiers than I can count have have asked me, "Do you have a physical address?" I have taken to answering, "No, I live in the box. It's kind of cramped but I like it."
@twmoores (567)
• United States
26 Oct 06
I know, its like hello any one home.
• United States
28 Oct 06
hehehehehehehehe