Should I be Insulted?

@cyntrow (8524)
United States
July 31, 2007 6:54pm CST
OK, as people who know me know, I post and respond to an number for controversial subjects; from religion to abortion to my pet subject, homosexuality. I have fought with a number of people about these subjects. Most have been neutral when I have responded to their other topics. But I have had a few that I have known I have disagreed with in the past. Still the subject interests me and I respond. Even when I agree, I find that some of these posters will not respond to me, while responding to everyone else. Is this because they don't agree with my agreeing with them. Or are they just reluctant to acknowledge that we can agree on something. anyway, should i be insulted, or is it jsut their lack of maturity at hand.
5 people like this
13 responses
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
1 Aug 07
Hello cyntrow! I have seen this happen to me too sometimes. In one case, I didn't disagree but I just gave a different perspective. The poster who used to always comment on my response earlier eagerly and who comment on all others just stopped commenting on my response. The poster not only did it to that particular discussion but a few discussions after that, I experienced the same until I stopped responding. This has happened to me in some other cases too. I don't know why people think that disagreement in one matter automatically make us disagree over everything or not to communicate further. I have disagreed with a lot of people here but whoever responds to my discussion, I always leave a comment even if I don't find anything easily comment able. I look deeply to find anything remotely comment able. I not only comment to disagreements and always welcome people but I have also given best responses to people who disagree with me vehemently either in that discussions or somewhere else. I just see that it will be rude on my part if I abandon someone in my discussion just because of a difference of opinion somewhere else. I don't know if you should feel insulted! I didn't felt it this way. I just thought not to respond further after some tries as I don't like to bother people. I did hope and wish that they will communicate with me in later tries, but sometimes they didn't and I moved on. Most of the time, I find people considerate though. If they don't comment on my response in a casual way, I don't mind as long as they are responding to others. But, If it's just me who is not getting a comment after so many tries, I may reconsider my responding options. I hope that you don't get insulted and that people get more reasonable.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I do have to say that it is a very few. Most people who disagree with me or with whom I disagree are open to my responses and posts. A few hold a grudge. And just because we don't agree on my controversial topics, it doesn't mean that we can't agree on something. all of these responses that I have made for this discussion make me feel like such a whining drama queen. But I have a problem with people who hold grudges. My parents always told me that a grudge is a heavy bag to carry. Yes, I am 38 years old, but my parents advice rings true to me. I just have the guts to admit it. Thanks so much for your response. I think We have passed each other a time or two, but you seem a voice of reason.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
2 Aug 07
I too have problem with people who hold grudges, cyntrow! in fact a lot of problem. I think age never counts in accepting the words of wisdom and parents are such wise sometimes:-) I try to learn from children too, sometimes they act wiser than adults! Transdisc, glad to see you too. In fact, I my self get surprised when I make it to mylot, fearing, whether or not I could. I haven't been very active in last couple of days and I didn't see you either in friend's discussions. It's a pleasure to see you. Hmmm, I must admit that both of you are more reasonable as to choice of your kind words for me:-) Thanks for the best response cyntrow!:-) I wasn't expecting it!
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
2 Aug 07
When I read your response, it just struck me. There seemed no further need to await a better response. Yours rang true. And thank you.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
1 Aug 07
Well sweety I am not sure why people would do that! There is only one person who has made me angry enough to not want to comment on their response to me and even then I did not ignore it! I politely told them that I really felt it would be better if we did not have contact - this was due to a personal attack on me and the responses he gave to me were all very sarcastic! I wouldn't ignore someone because we disagreed sweets but maybe - just maybe - they are scared that you are trying to upset them! xxx
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I'm not going to go into the actual discussions but here is how simple it was: User1 topic: "My dog just learned to flip. What trick can your dog do?" Me: "My dog can actually open the back door. It is amazing what animals can do." Ignored. And this occurred after we had had a knock down drag out about one of my pet subjects. Coincidence? I think not. LOL
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
1 Aug 07
Well no - not coincidence sweety! All I can say is that I am very glad I met you - you have helped me so much and these people do not know the type of person they are missing out on - their loss honey - not yours! xxx
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
Thanks, you are a sweetheart. You and a few others make this site worthwhile
1 Aug 07
I suppose if you notice these people are making responses to everyone elses comments and not yours, then I would agree with you that maybe they are being a bit immature. There are some people on here I avoid like the plague for the fact that they are just out to insult whoevers discussion they go on. However, there are those who I have not agreed with on one discussion, but have on another and thankfully most times they are very civilised. I thinks some people can't handle intellegence when they read it and if they have thrown their rattle out the pram on one ocassion with you, they may not want to respond to any other comments you have to offer. You shouldn't feel insulted though, you are the mature one here by holding no grudges and they could learn from this:0)
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I agree with you, but it still bothers me. I beleive that we as human beings are naturally going to disagree. If I can find my way to respond to a discussion from a person with whom I have jsut had a knock down drag out, and agree with them; then we have some common ground. A little commonality is a step to a greater dialouge. Why can't we both take this step??
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
And, I must say in defense of people who have responded to my "pet discussion," most are very respectful, surprisingly.
1 Aug 07
it does take alot to swallow ones pride and some people are good at it, while others just won't budge. I am glad to hear there are polite and respectful mylotters.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
1 Aug 07
It sounds to me like a grudge. I would wonder if they are even reading your response. They may just see it's from you and skip over it assuming that you are there to disagree again. It's unfortunate that people behave that way. I'm not sure if I would classify it as a lack of maturity. It is in a way but looking at it from their perspective, they might think THEY are being the mature party by choosing not to "get into it" again with you (I know you said it happens even when you agree but I question if they even notice that). That being said, if I was the one being snubbed like that I would still be slightly insulted regardless of whatever other excuses I could come up with for them. This is a forum. There are people here from all over with mainy different opinions. There is bound to be disagreements. It would be boring if everybody felt and thought the same way. You are entitled to have and share AND defend your opinions. People shouldn't write you off just because SOME of your opinions differ with theirs. This is why I don't try very hard to keep track of people here. I try to pay attention to discussions my friends have started. I sometimes remember bits and pieces about other people. And then there are certain users that stand out no matter what but in general I don't get all caught up with keeping tabs on who's saying what. I don't know what your opinions are on the "controversial subjects", they might be in total opposition of mine for all I know. All I do know is that THIS discussion was something I wanted to respond to and so I did.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
OK, here's the scenerio, and it's strictly hypothetical. I've gotten into debates with a certain person regarding homosexuality and abortion. A day or two later, I see a discussion from them about a trick that their dog did. I respond with a trick about that my dog did. They ignore my reply and reply to all the others. I would never, ever do this. I'm all for agreeing to disagree and moving on. That's what adults do. Oh, and it's not just one person that has done this to me. LOL
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
2 Aug 07
Yeah that doesn't seem very "adult like" to me either. I'm all on the side of agreeing to disagree also. I remember one user in particular that I had a run in with once. It got fairly heated but I have to say we were both able to walk away and move on. I responded to another of his/her discussions recently, again admitting that I disagreed BUT that it was fine with me that they felt that way on the subject. He/she responded clarifying the situation and still sticking with the same opinion but it was all civil and mature. That is how "debating" should be. To ignore you on all topics just because of your opinions on a few is extremely childish...but it's their loss. It seems to me that you add intelligent conversations here and that is what this place needs more than people having stupid vendettas.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
Maybe they had grudges. But oh well, you can't do anything about it. Who cares if they don't respond, it's their choice anyways. I guess they're just either being childish or afraid that you'll start something. As for me, I don't go to full lengths into dealing with controversial topics anymore. I just don't see the point of debating on something that has no end really. I now go for easy topics, the ones that need imagination, rather than the toughness of the words. Take it easy, let them be if they don't reply. I have one person too that I don't want to be talking to anymore. As hard as I try, I try not to comment on topics where she has commented too. I just don't like her, and I think it's a waste of my time if I comment on her comments. But more of the people here on mylot. I don't really even remember the names. =)
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I love debate. And as long as the answers are well thought out and intelligent, I don't get angry. My sparring partners don't get angry at me either. But there are people who get mad at me. My point is that I don't just respond to controversial topics. I'm not that one dimensional. And if I respond to something about what my dog did yesterday and the person replies to everyone but me, that is childish.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
Yeah definitely that's childish. Anyways, let it go. Maybe he/she really is a child for all we know. =)
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
1 Aug 07
I wouldn't be insulted, I think a few people are just not into responding they really are just after the point that the discussion received, I think some just want to get as many topics as possible, so no need to get insulted its good that some want to csrry on a good topic...
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
Well, the point is that the people to which I refer are some that I have had run ins with in the past and in neutral discussions they respond to all but me. This is where I think they are just being childish.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
1 Aug 07
hmmm maybe your right....
@EvanHunter (4028)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I dont knwo maybe I am a bit different than the normal preson I always take it as everyone likes me until they flat out say I domnt like you.There are a few people on my friends list that always thank everyone but never do me I dont think they are against me I just think that they didnt see a big reason to reply to what I said. If I am looking at a topic sometiems I do reply to what others have said instead of the main thread if they make a valid point I agree with or dissagree with thats the way it works on almost any other forum I have been on except mylot. On here you can get 100 replies of people saying the exact same thing that everyone else postedits kind of weird and nothing like any other forum. I know we get paid by the post so thats probably why people do it.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I can dig that. I agree. But if you got into an arguement with someone on tuesday and then on wednesday you responded to a generic question from them and they replied to everyone but you, would you not feel insulted?
@Netsbridge (3242)
• United States
1 Aug 07
Are you that insecure and immature to always expect a pad on the shoulder or to assume that people will always acknowledge you?
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
Either you didn't get the discussion, you didn't read it, or you are just trying to get me angry, it doesn't matter. I would never do that to anyone. We will all disagree, but we can find common ground. These people need to accept the common ground. Maybe it would suit you to read my replies to the responses. Maybe it wouldn't. Either way, take care and have a great life.
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
1 Aug 07
There could be a couple of reasons I can think of why people don't respond to your responses. Not everyone checks all of their discussions and I have to admit I'm one of them or they don't want to start an ongoing argument. I'm sure there are more reasons and I hope people will tell you what they are.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
IF they respond to everyone before and after me and we had had an arguement in the recent past....
• United States
1 Aug 07
Don't be insulted at all cyntrow...So people just can't take (critizium) I hope I speeled that right. So pay it any mind if they don't repond by to your reply oh well.....
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I agree. It jsut bothers me because it is something I would never do. People disagree, but it doesn't mean that we must disagree on everything.
• Indonesia
1 Aug 07
I think you are thinking too much cyntrow. Actually I seldom got a reply back to the responses I replied. MAybe they thought that it would not be necessary to reply back. Just relax and think positive. Anything could happen here I can say. :D
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I always reply if I can think of something to say. But these people will reply to all but me.
@dafnie (382)
• United States
1 Aug 07
well maybe it's because it's just a subject that a lot of people would rather ignore because it gets too deep and too confusing once you start putting your thoughts in. some people would rather stay away from a long debate because it would just take too much energy out of them! don't be insulted.... not worth it!
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
No, no. These are people that I've debated with in the past about these subjects. Then they post a discussion on something like naming their baby which I reply about how I named my first. They reply to everyone except for me. You and I debated one of my bet sujects once. If I were one of these people, I would have ignored you here, to make a point or whatever. I just find it silly and childish. Thanks for responding.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
It depends on whether they believe you are for homosexuality or against it, for abortion or against it, for God or against God. Not everyone has the right words to respond to the posts. So even though they disagree, they cannot express themselves intelligently enough so they do not respond. It is the same as someone who has a grade school education trying to win against someone who is a professor. No matter how they try, they cannot succeed. Oh by the way I am against homosexual marriages, against abortions, so if you hold the same views, good for you. If you don't, well we disagree.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
1 Aug 07
Yes, but the discussion that they are ignoring me on are inane discussions; what did you name your baby, what tricks can your dog do, etc. I have disagreed with them in the past but if they respond to my neutral discussions, I wouldn't ignore them. Just because I disagree with someone does not mean I don't like them.