The top 10 things dogs hate about people

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Some of you may find this funny 1 Blaming your farts on me not funny... not funny at all. Why don't you just own up? 2 Yelling at me for barking. I'M A DOG, YOU IDIOT! IT'S WHAT WE DO 3 Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 4 Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Would you eat something that someone had put on your nose? and making me wait for it is just pure torture. 5 Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home. 6 That stupid fake throw when playing fetch. So you fooled a dog! How clever are you? 7 Taking me to the vet for "the big snip" then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back! And this is surprising because? 8 Getting upset when I sniff at your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. 9 Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur? 10 How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.