How would you feel if your daughter was gay

@Vixx06 (162)
August 5, 2007 5:46pm CST
I have always thought of myself as open minded. One of my friends came to visit yesterday. She was very upset as her daughter had told her she was gay. I told her it did not matter and to just accept it. After she left I wondered how I would feel if one of my daughters was gay. I am ashamed to say I would be disapointed. Is that so wrong? Or do you think that is natural?
2 people like this
7 responses
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
16 Aug 07
I think it is probably a little natural. when you have your kids you imagine what their future will be like and whether you are ok with people being gay or not, that isn't something you envision for your kids. i've already said that if any of my kids were gay that i would be supportive and would be ok with it. granted things won't be easy for them, but i'd like to think that acceptance of gay lifestyle is moving forward atleast a little bit.
@Vixx06 (162)
16 Aug 07
I always thought I would be the same. I would support my daughter in any way. I would never judge her lifestyle but I know that I would feel a bit disapointed. Nothing however could stop me loving my girls.
• United States
15 Aug 07
I think that way of thinking is unfortunately natural in today's society for heterosexuals. But, in all actuality your response to your friend was the more accurate. Why should it matter? Yeah, so! Your daughter's gay! Does that change who she is? Does that change your love for her? Or more importantly has it simply changed the idea of keeping her in that box you created for her?
@Vixx06 (162)
16 Aug 07
I have never kept any of my girls in any form of box. My girls are allowed to express themselves in any way. I would be dissapointed but mainly because of the grandchildren side of it. Nothing would ever change my love for my daughter.
• Canada
13 Aug 07
I think that we'd all like to say if one of our kids turned out to be gay it wouldn't bother us, and we'd accept them for who they are. I think a lot of us when we actually get put in that position, things are different though. I'd LIKE to say that I'd accept my daughter if she turned out to be gay, but truthfully I'd probably be disappointed and I definitely wouldn't understand. I'd never let something like that get in the way of my relationship with her though. I would still love her, even if I didn't agree with her choices. That I can say truthfully.
@Vixx06 (162)
16 Aug 07
I am pleased someone knows how I feel. No matter what my daughter is I will always love her.
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I would be upset. But, I would get over it. I love my children so much that I would learn to live with it. I hope I could be strong enough to realize it is not something I did to cause it. I think your feelings of knowing you would disappointed are normal.
@Vixx06 (162)
6 Aug 07
I have to agree with you. No matter how disapointed I would be, nothing in this world could stop me from loving my girls.
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
I don't have any children so maybe I don't have the right to voice an opinion but if I did have any children all I would want would them to be happy, I have worked with many gay people and although I am not gay myself I got on so well with them, I think I enjoyed being in their company because they were always so happy, I guess that is where the name gay came from, I guess the only think one should be a little disappointed about would no Grandchildren but then not all people can have children anyway so I really think happiness is No1. priority in ones life no matter what way they swing...
@Vixx06 (162)
6 Aug 07
I think it is the grandparent aspect that makes me sad
@Pose123 (21666)
• Canada
5 Aug 07
She is still my daughter I would accept it, and love her, perhaps even more, for being honest with me. I'd probably feel a little sad but not for me rather for the way society looks at gays.
@Vixx06 (162)
6 Aug 07
I would accept it but still feel a bit disapointed. I wish I could change my feelings but I cant just yet
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
5 Aug 07
no, there's nothing wrong about being disappointed, that's a normal feeling or reaction of a parent, and it never means loving the child any less. it's just due to the fact that we know it's out of the ordinary and it's not a generally-accepted thing yet, and we worry for our kid, for the future. but in situations like this, there's nothing better for a parent to give to the child but more understanding, acceptance, support, and lots of love & guidance.
@Vixx06 (162)
6 Aug 07
I am glad someone else feels I am normal. I still cant help feeling disapointed in myself.