Are you becoming your parents?

@miamilady (4924)
United States
August 5, 2007 10:32pm CST
Did you ever promise yourself that you would not say the things that your parents said to you as a kid? Do you now say "Because I said so!" to your kids? I have. I do.
7 people like this
19 responses
@onerygirl (549)
• United States
6 Aug 07
It is funny how this happens. I found out how intelligent my parents were when I became a parent. Now, my kids are finding out the same thing. Of course, we all have to adapt to the times but our parents weren't as bad as we thought they were.
3 people like this
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
I'm intending to get married and I will never be like my parents who beat me up.Sure I will discipline my kids but not the way that they do.A spank w/a newspaper or a slipper would do but not repeatedly.They still beat me up until now and by getting married,I'm sure I'll have a better life w/my one and only love who truly loves and cares for me.
2 people like this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I'm sorry to hear that you have to go through that. I hope you are able to get out of that situation soon. I'm glad you don't want to do the same thing with your children. Good luck and take care.
1 person likes this
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
6 Aug 07
LOL, yes and I hate it. I have said..."As long as you live under my roof, you will follow my rules" then thought, wow, that was one of those lines I swore I would never say. My Dad said that all the time. I have said do as I say not as I do (groan) and even used the old "When I was a kid, we WALKED to school in the snow uphill!" (We really did!). I am hoping I won't say some of the more hurtful things that my father said. I try hard to NOT use those lines because I know they are hurtful. But I do notice myself becoming like my parents in ways. I swore it would never happen. And I am sure my kids are swearing that they won't be like their parents. But I bet they will! Haha.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Yeah, it's funny how things come full circle. I've used the "do as i say not as i do" one too. I don't think my parents ever used that one. I think the parents of my best friend did. I try to avoid some of the more hurtful things that my parents said and did too. I guess thats human nature. We learn parenting from our own parents. We duplicate what we think they did well and try to avoid repeating what we think they did wrong. Thanks for your reply.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43962)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I'll often catch myself saying phrases that my mother used to say and it's like...yeesh...another biggie is that people who knew my mother will say things like, gee, you're getting to look a lot more like your mother, or if on the phone..they will say I now sound like her..her voice quality--horrors!
2 people like this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
lol I caught myself having my feelings hurt by my daughter the other day. My mother is known for become overly dramatic and then having her feelings hurt. She did it recently when my sister was in town. When I said something to my daughter about her being mean, I saw my mother in myself. I'm the youngest of 4 and I live closest to her and I physcially look like her more than my siblings. I love her dearly but there are some things that she does that just drives me batty.
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10903)
6 Aug 07
I think we all tend to emulate our parents in a way, but when I have recognised those qualities that I did not like in my parents manifest in myself, my behaviour and attitude will change.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Of course I have. most parents do . also I have said I told ya so
2 people like this
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
at my case no, i am not like my parents. my parents are so old fashion so we are brought up in a different way. although my dad is a joker he is still kinda old fashion. my mom always talks of the past and how simple life is. but it doesnt fit in right now. about the "because i said so'" i didnt hear them say that... and i dont say that to my kids either
2 people like this
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
6 Aug 07
If I was my parents, my son would not call me and tell me so many details of his life, from the new girls to playing poker to buying a motorcycle. I am in my mid-50's, I live over 300 miles away from them and they are still trying to tell me how to live my life. My poor sister lives a few miles away from them and the try to run everything...from what color her living room is to what toilet paper to buy and where to shop.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Oh gosh. I hate when people try to tell me what to do. Even my parents. Thankfully they aren't too bad about that. Sometimes my mom makes suggestions but she isn't too overbearing. I try to give my kids space, but they are still at an age where they need guidance. I try to keep my input age appropriate. Thanks for your reply.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36377)
• United States
6 Aug 07
In my late 30's I saw me becoming my father 100 percent. After I sobered up in 1991 I decided that I had to change the ways I dealt with my children and wife or I woulod be my dad. Now that I've broken the cycle of mental and verbal abuse my family and myself are all the better. Thanks for this discussion also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Thanks for your response. Congatulations on being able to break the cycle. It takes a lot of character to be able to do that. Take care.
1 person likes this
@dbhattji (2508)
• India
6 Aug 07
I think we all become a little like our parents when we grow up and that is when we realize that our parents were right in stopping us from doing a lot of things - and we were very rash and carefree. Do not feel guilty about saying it - your children will also learn to appreciate you when they have children to guide.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
You're right. My mother didn't say "no" to me often. I remember one time in particular that I was angry when she said I couldn't go to a concert. Now as an adult, I understand why she said no. My children get angry sometimes when I don't allow them to do things. I hope when they get older they will understand the decisions that I have made. It is our job to protect them, even when they don't think they need to be protected.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 07
I haven't done that yet, since my parents never did that to me. Of course I was never allowed to question an order they gave either...lol. It was always something you did because they told you to do it.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Actually, that is one thing I WISH I could have that my parents had. Of course, its my own doing. I thought I should explain the reasons "why" to my children and I don't want them to "fear" me as much as I did my father, but I really wish they would just do what their told, without question once in a while.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 07
Well, I have the same beliefs as my father, and I sort of have my mother's fashion sense. I would say that I am a combination of them, but I am a more stronger combination of them.
1 person likes this
@arcidy (5017)
• United States
7 Aug 07
No I dont think im becoming my parents I think you dont become your parents untill you have kids. But I think my sister is becoming my mother in fact I think that she is worse then my mother I just knoticed it over the weekend because I wanted to go to burgerking usually my mom wont let me because its to fattening but I wanted to go and my mom said it was okay but my sister said no its to fat for you and she didnt take me thats the first time she ever did that.
1 person likes this
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Yes I did that. The older I get the more I feel like my parents. Funny how when we are kids our parents are so dumb, later when we grow up we find that our parents were a lot smarter than we thought. Now since my kids are all grown with kids of their own, they are going through some of the same things I did with them. I now tell them, Payback!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Not really. I've become more protective of my niece and nephew in recent years partly b/c of all the crazies in the world. LIVE IN PEACE
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
Eversince I got kids i realized that what my parents ware telling or saying to me when i was a kid come out naturally. There are words that my parents were always telling me that i'm saying now to my kids especially when it comes to their health and safety.
1 person likes this
@terri0824 (4975)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I have to admit, when my daughters were younger, I used this phrase, because I said so! I think all parents at one time or another use this one. Just to save from arguing about a situation.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
That sounds like me all right. I said I was not going to be like them, that I was going to be less strict and not forbid them to do things. Yet, it seemed the most word I used was, "no, you can't do that."
• United States
14 Sep 07
Yep I am becoming like my parents in SO many ways!!