Being childless

@jhanna (335)
Philippines
August 5, 2007 11:42pm CST
If you're married, are couple to oblige to have a child? I mean, in this part of the world I am living, the pressure is on us (husband & me) because we are on our 5th year of marriage yet we are not yet blessed with a child. I've been to doctors, OB-gyne, fertility doctors, I took a lot of fertility drugs, injections, vitamins, herbal supplements but nothing worked since I have this medical condition called polycystic ovary syndrome or PCOS where I don't ovulate normally. To be honest, I love kids but why should I pressure myself to have a kid when God only knows when He is going to bless us with one, right? So guys, I am looking forward for your opinion regarding this matter, because I'm fed up with comments from people especially from relatives. They don't know what I've been through, the frustrations, the pressure etc. I even have these thoughts what if my husband would look for someone else who can give him a child.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@tholitz (1127)
• Philippines
7 Aug 07
Here in my country, they always associated married in having children. It's like getting pregnant and having children is the predicament of marriage. I'm very sorry to hear that you have this PCOS which somehow preventing you from getting pregnant. Maybe you could make this opportunity to really get closer and know more about your husband. Enjoy every time you have as a married couple, in every opportunity make the trips and vacation that you could do. When you get children you could not have that sole time to enjoy one another. One more thing, don't lose hope and keep your faith in God. I've got a friend who after 10 years of being childless was blessed with a boy and a girl. Just what you have said, only God knows what is best for both of you.
@jhanna (335)
• Philippines
7 Aug 07
You're right. Being childless also have advantages. Me and my husband have all the time in the world. We can do anything we want, we can go wherever we want to go... etc. Maybe God has other plans for us.
• Malaysia
6 Aug 07
Hello jhanna. You are not alone, remember that. For instance, I am here as your friend. I have married for almost nine years now, yet still not blessed with a child. So please don't worry, because there are a lot of other people who is facing the same problem like you. For your relatives criticism, heck... let them be. Forget about them and just ignore them totally. If they say something harsh again, make joke about it and smash the joke back to their face. Let them feel how hot it feels to receive a synical joke from you. There is another choice which you can take. For me, I no longer hope to get a biological descendant. I am planning to adopt a child as soon as my financial is in stable condition. I am working on this real hard and I hope the time is coming soon. So, stop worrying and be happy about what God has given you so far. Happiness is always around you, just try noticing them and make use of them. Never take care about other people's criticism, they will only harm you in the end. I hope you are relieved now, knowing that you are not alone. And if you have adopted a child, let me know about it, okay? I am happy for you and always will. Have faith, and God will show you the way out. Have a nice day!
@jhanna (335)
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
Hi ladysurvivor! Thank you for lifting up my spirits.
• United States
6 Aug 07
I am sorry you have to go through all of this.Here in the States a married couple isn't pressured by society to have children but they may get pressure from their family.You shouldn't have to have a baby because of family pressure.If you and your husband are not in a hurry to have children, then don't have children.It will happen when it happens. And if you don't or can't get pregnant but you still you want children , there is always adoption.