Is my father a Jerk? Was he wrong of doing this?

United States
August 6, 2007 4:35pm CST
You descide if my dad is a jerk. Hers How it happened. my boyfriend and i were in need of a place to life so my parents let us move into their 1/2 star basement. We have helped them out so much, we wash dishes, clean the house, gave them 2 cell phones, and fixed all their computer problems, also we gave them a stick of ram so their computer would work faster. Now that you know that heres the problem. My parents have been harrassing us to get a job, but we live in a very small town with a population of 2,000 poeple. There is no oppertunity here. I got a job offer from my job i reciently quit and a job at the grocery store. but my dad says that he should be working. but were making money so he should be proud, but hes not. Was he wrong?
6 responses
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
7 Aug 07
I do understand where your dad is coming from. i would also as a parents want to see that both of you were working and providing to the household. HOWEVER I do think that he should be proud of you as well, and understand that your bf is doing what he can to find a job (if that is the case) I am sure that u will move out as soon as you get a chanse coz I for one would not wanna live with my parents with my bf - no matter HOW much i love them =)
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Aug 07
Thats the thing he dont care. The reason he is being such a jerk is because he dont like my boyfriend. See when i started dating him my parents wouldnt let me see him, they pushed me to the limit to where i moved out when i was 16 years old, i have asked nothing from them until 2 weeks ago (ill be 18 in the beginning of sept). I think they owe it to me.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
8 Aug 07
Blueeyes thats your whole problem right there.You feel like your parents owe you,but your parents do not owe you anything.First off a lot of parents would not even let you live in there home without being married.If i would have brought home a b/f ,not married i would not have even expected my parents to let me spend the night with him in their home.
• Singapore
7 Aug 07
I understand that both of you are trying to find money for the family but maybe to him, your boyfriend aint trying hard enough. Its always tough to get your boyfriend/girlfriend to stay in your family initially. Probably as time goes by and your boyfriend eventually gets a paying job, your dad's view of him will change. So just be patient, time is the solution to every problem.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Aug 07
Here is houw it is okay! he is doing good, i really dont care what you guys think, your just writing the same thing as the poeple above. here is a helpful tip. be your own person and write what you think not what other poeple say just b/c you may be a loser and follow what other poeple say. be a leader not a follower.
@galoforce (264)
7 Aug 07
he may not think your breaking a sweat for your your money so your not earning it worthy enough, though as a more likly case if your not earning allot of money he may want you both to get a job so you pay board to him for staying in the 1/2 star basement.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
7 Aug 07
No your father is right.You husband should be out looking for a job and should be willing to get some type of support for his family.,meaning you and him.I think your dad has the right idea,your husband needs a job.It does not matter that you do around the house,that is done just because your parents are giving you a place to live,and it is only right that you do things for them.As far as the job goes even if you are working that does not mean your husband should sit home while you are working.Your dad has your best interest at heart.A man that does not provide for his family is the jerk in this case.Im sorry to be so blunt but i have to agree with dad on this one.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
7 Aug 07
I just read your b/f reply after i wrote my reply.I still feel that the one that is needy here is you and your b/f not her parents.You are living with them,they are not living with you.if you do not like the house rules then i would suggest that you get a job and get out of their basement,then you will not have to deal with dad.Does that sound like the best Idea to you two?I would never stay in a place if i was not happy there.
• United States
8 Aug 07
i actually dont really care what you think, were doing the best we can. Your just being an azzhole to make a few bucks b/c the more you write the bigger they pay is. thats all you care about. its not the situation its the money, if i could say something your just the same as my dad and he falls in the same catagory "under dirt". So if you could dont write in this subject again. all you care about is money you dont care, he doesnt either. pathetic people
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
8 Aug 07
Well all i can say about your reply is ,you were the one asking what we thought., and i told you my opinion,and now you are all mad.If you do not want our opinions then don't ask us ok?Your dad may be riding you pretty hard but you are living in his house and he is not living with you ,you and your b/f is living with him.if you do not like the way your father is acting then get out of his house,he does not owe you anything ..If you are old enough to have a b/f then you should be out from under your Daddy and be living on your own.You are looking for approval and someone to take your side in this and i think you and your b/f should be on your own.
• United States
7 Aug 07
Here's some hard, cold facts; first off if you are 18 or older ANYTHING your parents do for you is a GIFT. They are no longer responsible (legal wise) to house or support you. The few things you mentioned you "did for them" is commendable; however, when you GIVE somebody something there is not return expected. What you were doing was trying to compensate for the fact that you do not pay a consistent rent maybe? Or that you do not buy your own groceries to feed yourself and a person living in a household that neither of your parents are connected to genetically at all AND that this very "extra" person if you get in a spat with is out of both of your lives with NO reimbursement for time, effort, food and amenities provided by your parents for nothing except a person that's worked his whole life TRYING to build something in the both of you that you are not grasping. It is NOT that we as parents do not love you guys with ALL of our hearts - it's MORE the fact that when we are gone WHO will be there to aid and assist physically, monetarily and otherwise if you are not taught to FEND for yourself. The foundation he is trying to build is for YOUR good in his absence; to teach some of the old time ways that still remain today. And in all reality you will feel SO much better about yourself knowing that you are giving something back to the very people that brought you into this Earth and took SO much care of you all those years. The Bible states to honour your mother and father and your days on this Earth will be LONG. There must be a reason for this. Back up- start over- really TRY to look for a job for the BOTH of you. And although DEEDS are nice they don't pay the bills. No contempt was intended in this response, I just have a 22 yr old myself and we've already gone through this. And now many times, she STILL hugs and kisses me and tells me the same thing "MOM, I wish I would have listened to you". God bless you sweety!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
8 Aug 07
Amen you are so right!
• United States
7 Aug 07
I don't think he is wrong. I understand you both are helping out and you gave your parents all that stuff. And that was very nice of you. But you have to understand that your parents has to pay for all the food and utilities. And they arent cheap. Try not to be so hard on your dad and think he is looking down on you. He probably just wants to see you do better. I hope i didnt offend you by any of what i said, good luck! OH and by the way i know what your going through - because i have been there myself.
• United States
7 Aug 07
I'm her boyfriend, and I would like to drop a few lines in and give you a little more insight before taking further response on this topic. We DO pay for food (and also prepare meals), we DO have the intention of paying them as well for their hospitality (the little that we have gotten), we HAVE to pick up after her family (notice i didn't say "us" because we already take care of our own chores.. but also we have to clean up after them) as it is required by her father, do chores, take care of her little brother and watch over them when they are away, etc. We do everything.. and have done EVERYTHING to help her parents out in the past even though they never really appreciated everything we could do. My girlfriend also pointed out that we have given them some electronics, not only to be gracious, but also to provide as some sort of payment for the opportunity that they have provided for us, of which would retail for around $600. We are BETWEEN jobs, but we aren't just bumming around; instead we have taken up several employment opportunities online, as well we have applied for other jobs (of which my girlfriend has been accepted to 2). The jist of the matter is that we have given what we can for now, and are helping as we can, yet it's not good enough for her father. We've been here for 2 weeks and he's continually harassing us about jobs. We don't take up much resources as we bathe economically, and we live in their BASEMENT (we don't get extra A/C.. and the biggest bill we would make for them would be a small dent in their electric bill from using our computer) that we also had to clean out before we could move in. If you need anymore information or don't really understand the situation then reply.