When you know that someone is gonna die..................?????????

@avs189 (1030)
India
August 8, 2007 6:35am CST
Hi fellow mylotian members,nice to be back after long time,Actually i am here to discuss abt friend whom i met online and was deeply attracted to her,we used to chat everyday arnd 3-4 hrs and suddenly one day she disclosed that she is about to die within next 2 yrs since she is suffering from cancer,i am so deeply attached wid her that i never miss chatting wid her and try to keep her happy as much as possible,wat u guys advise me ,how should i go about this relationship when i know that she is gonna survive maximum for 2 yrs..guys i need ur sincere advice!!!
2 people like this
4 responses
8 Aug 07
Wow this is really difficult,if you cut her off you may save yourself a berement but will miss talking to her but if you keep talking to her, the more you talk the more you will connect and the worse it will be when the end comes for her. However i would say live life for the moment, enjoy talking to this friend and forget about the future talk to her as if she has anlother 100 years, as i'm sure she doesn't want to dwell on her illness and talking to you is probably a wonderful escape.However if she wants to talk about it just try to be sympathetic. Would you ever meet this friend or is it strictly web based. Either way just make the most of the time she has left, and hopefully the memories of what you shared will all be happy and help you to cope in the future. after all it can be true that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.
• Sri Lanka
8 Aug 07
I agree with littlemissh Its difficults for your friend too, knowing that she is going to die in a short while, and is going to suffer physically towards the end. you could be the strength for a to carryon. It will be difficult on you too, when she is not going to be around. Life goes on. Live for the moment. time is a good healer.
@avs189 (1030)
• India
8 Aug 07
Really thanks for your response, i completely agree with your replies and i am trying to do the same that is keeping her happy and give her all the joy within my limit ,i can feel her pain what she is going through but still i try my best to give her courage and strength to fight the life taking disease,i cant really accept the fact that she is gonna die...
• Canada
9 Aug 07
What you describe is a complicated sitation on both sides. If you have established a deep bond with this person and it obviously fullfills something for both of you. My suggestion would be to ask yourself what it would feel like to abandon her verus seeing things through until her time does come. Sometimes walking the path with someone who knows they are leaving can provide some amazing life lessons in love and acceptance. Hopefully, whatever you need to know will be given to you because you were willing to ask. If you are a spiritual person I would pray for clarity and direction about what choices would be best for your highest good...and hers. Wishing you and your friend light filled blessings as you go through this difficult transition.
@avs189 (1030)
• India
9 Aug 07
Ya i am really stranded , i would be in complete loss on both sides,also that fact that i am very emotional person aggravates the matter most,i am very soft-hearted and sensitive to others feelings and pains,her pain has inflicted me lot and try to give her some moments of happiness by chatting wid her,encouraging her ,and fullfilling whatever she wants or seeks.Thanks for your response and i appreciate your help!!!
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
8 Aug 07
Your friend is going to need all your love and support for the next two years, I would just keep doing as you are, dont let her become lonley, I know a few people who when they find out some one is going to pass away they distance themselves from them and the dying person ends up being very lonley.
@avs189 (1030)
• India
8 Aug 07
Thanks for the advice mrsbrian,i am trying my best as possible to keep her happy as possible so that she doesnt feel lonely and make her enjoy the last few days rather than be in depression and loneliness.
@missbdoll (1168)
• Australia
8 Aug 07
This is very sad,but it's also terribly sad when people "run away" from freinds in this position.I'm spaeking from very personal experince, because I have a partner who is dying.And althought he has family suport, his family have never "let me in" and I now find that since a lot of people I thought to be good freinds have found out I'm being avoided.Like people donn't know what to say or donn't want to be around.or they think they wonn't know what to do when he goes.
@avs189 (1030)
• India
8 Aug 07
ya i can feel ur pain,what i would really say that is i would ask the god to give courage to both of us in order to help the people who are dying so we can help them in their loneliness and make their way to heaven more easier and peaceful!!