Signs that Depression might be getting worse when grieving?

Canada
August 10, 2007 11:51am CST
As many of you already know I lost my third child a babygirl due to high blood pressure pre-acclamsia toxemia, almost 3 months ago now...It almost took my own life..I have two wonderful children a 14 year old son and a 15 month old daughter and it could of happened to her as I had high blood pressure in my pregnancy with her... Does anyone know what signs I should look for if my depression might be getting worse as a result of my babies death?
4 people like this
6 responses
@wotfpatty (2065)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost a baby but early in the pregnancy. The pain was still there though of the loss and of what might have been. As someone who recently loss her father and who lost her mother 10 years ago, I can say that you will know if your depression is worse. I assume it is. Losing a child is depressing and you don't bounce back immediately. If you feel sad and down, that is perfectly normal. What you need to watch for is not having as much energy or attention span to care for your other kids, feelings of hopelessness, not wanting to do what you normally do, and avoiding your normal daily things you generally do. If you see yourself snapping at the kids or not being as attentive, I would say you should try to talk to someone and work through your grief. I know from experience that grief takes a LONG time to come to grips with and sometimes you don't even realize how it affects you. If you are just sad but doing your usual daily things, I think you are going through the normal grieving stage and it isn't a cause for worry. We all have to go through that stage. Expect to be more depressed for a while. But if you see it interfering with your life - especially where the kids are concerned - getting some help like talking about your loss is a smart idea. It helps a lot to get those feelings out in the open and deal with them even though it hurts. I am not at all a professional. Just a professional griever who knows the pain of loss. Take care of yourself, relax when you can, and thank God or whomever you believe in that you have two healthy wonderful children who need their mom! But don't forget the little angel who wasn't meant to be here either. She will always be a part of you.
• Canada
13 Aug 07
thank you both for that I'm also very sorry for your losses as well...I haven't really noticed me getting more upset at my children...My daughter is teething rapidly and I get frustrated with her crabbiness but that also happened before the loss...I do spend as much time with my kids as I can..And family and friends and have bbqs and friends and family over for coffee...I know physically for awhile I couldn't clean or do much but finally am up to par with that..I will definatly watch out for those signs..I know I haven't been sleeping the greatest but also my body and mind were preparing for late night feedings with my baby..Also my 14 month old sometimes will wake up in the night because of teeth are hurting her so is normal there...I'm also just getting out of the anger stage of the loss too I think I'm trying so hard not to take it out on my husband...hugzzz you both and thank you
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
Hi blueAngelRS! This is not a professional opinion, it is just what I have seen and experienced with my brother when our mother passed away. My brother avoided his friends and family...he stopped his schooling...he eats very little...and he stays in his room all day and sleeping most of the time and at nights he is awake, just listening to his tapes and cd's. I tried to ask professional help for him but he refused . He never talks about our mother until to this day and I never saw him cry. I guess, you are much better because you are trying to help yourself and you are trying to reach out by telling us here all your pains...and that is alright because you should not have it bottled up inside you. The grieving as I have learned from books is different with each people, to others it is short term and the rest it took them a long while. I really am not sure if what I am sharing would help you but I hope it does. I really hope that somehow you will feel better knowing that people care. Have a good day and take care. God bless.
2 people like this
• Canada
13 Aug 07
hi faith10 your story does help..I do hope that your brother gets better and that he will someday beable to talk about your mom and I'm so sorry for your loss hugzzz you...It's good to know that I'm handling it good and that I can talk about it...I surround myself with family and friends that love me and also have 2 kids that keep me busy too hehe...A 14 year old and a 14 month old huggzz and thanks for your response.
@mummymo (23706)
12 Aug 07
Sweety everyone reacts differently when they are grieving! I would say that as long as you can keep an interest in life and your family then it isn't dangerous unless you feel you may harm yourself or others! I would suggest that you talk to someone - preferably a professional but maybe even a close friend or family member! I do admire you as you seem to be coping so very well and I keep you in my prayers sweety! xxxx
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 07
Sounds like you could use some help dealing with your grief. I cannot imagine losing a child. Maybe if you saw someone it wouldn't get worse. You might even need some kind of medication. Wishing you to feel better.
2 people like this
• Canada
13 Aug 07
maybe but for the medication no thanks hehe..I'm on enough still from what killed her high blood pressure...I'm just in a funk these days I try to get happy and I do smile and laugh but it will take time if I feel I'm stuck then I will probably go get some help...
• United States
12 Aug 07
I lost my brother and mother within 13 months of each other. I felt so numb for so long. Most everything I've read says that if you start to think about harming yourself or others your depression need help. Losing interest in your life. Talk to your doctor if you feel this is to difficult to handle on your own. Your doctor can get you the help you need if you need it. Talk to your friends and family working through your emotions will help.
• Canada
13 Aug 07
thank you that does make alot of sense and I will definatly keep an eye on thought change or anything changing in my interest for life...
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
13 Oct 10
Well, sometimes its unavoidable that we feel depressed for the day..but for the health its not a good side, i believe in Meditation which will balance our mind and helps to be normal at situations
1 person likes this