This is not a joke , these things are true xx

@weemam (13389)
August 10, 2007 2:32pm CST
Hospital Chart Bloopers 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
8 people like this
21 responses
• United States
10 Aug 07
These were too funny not to respond to. It maybe considered a joke (a no-no to be reported by a sicko) however I believe most of them have been really true. LOL
3 people like this
@weemam (13389)
10 Aug 07
The e-mail said they were all true pal so they shouldn't be considered a joke :) xx
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
10 Aug 07
OMG I almost peed a little..... They are so funny! I am going to refuse any PT that included cars! I also like the circus sized guy! I think my next trip to the hospital I will refuse an autopsy also! Very good Sis oxoxoxxoxoxoxo
3 people like this
@weemam (13389)
10 Aug 07
I will tell them no autopsy unless I can give them written permission at the time of asking lol xx
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 07
Thanks so much for posting this, I got a huge laugh out of it and so did hubby. We needed the laugh!
2 people like this
@weemam (13389)
10 Aug 07
we all need a laugh eh! I wanted to point out that it was not a kjoke though and really happened :) :) xx
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 07
That is hilarious! and that is ONE invasive rectal exam!
2 people like this
@weemam (13389)
10 Aug 07
Yup via the tonsils lol xx
2 people like this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
Hi weemam! Haha...I can see the bloopers made by health care personnels, maybe they were in a hurry while jotting down the observations they made. I do believe that things like that happen all the time, and it's really funny when civilians like me would get to read them. LOL! Have a nice day!
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 07
I like number 20 the best. These bloopers are always funny to read. I am a nurse and see some of these all the time. Sometimes it is the doctor just not paying attention when he dictates or transcriptionist just cant read their hand writing. Always good for a quick giggle
@ElicBxn (59906)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I've seen them before, but they always make me break up!
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I personally like the last one - Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. That applies to so many of us that it is scary. I know it applies to me..though I only had one child who is no longer a teenager. I have seen many strange things written in looking at logs at work and it is scared..you figure that the people who wrote these comments are responsible for our health.
1 person likes this
• India
11 Aug 07
LOL weemam i laughing so hard i have tears in my eyes! thanks for sharing this with us and giving us dose of laughter for the day LOL i loved the 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. some doctor he/she should be LOL
@arkaf61 (10891)
• Canada
11 Aug 07
LOL this is hilarious:):):) I worked in a hospital as a ward clerk and we used to find that every once in a while some doctor - maybe an intern or just too tired - would write something silly in the patient charts.
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
11 Aug 07
With the hours they work- its a wonder there aren't more severe mistakes made than these. Most were pretty amusing though ;)
@ivyoon (675)
• United States
11 Aug 07
This is hilarious. It makes me realize how difficult the jobs of doctors must be. Just the fact that the careless mistakes have now shown up circulating proves that. I can't imagine how long some of these guys or gals were awake (some doctors don't get a lot of rest) to have written some of these things! Too funny! Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
11 Aug 07
That was funny!! I can relate to number 25!!!!! It does make me want to look at my own medical notes to see if I have anymore of these conditions, I could do with a good laugh.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
11 Aug 07
This is so funny you will not believe me, these are actual reports from one of our hospitals in South Africa! Since 'Apartheid' was banned in 1980 my country has been a huge victim of Afirmative action, and there are people in positions that are life threatning!!! As they don't have the skills for the job let alone the language! See my discussion 'Proudly South African' http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1087499.aspx
1 person likes this
• Australia
11 Aug 07
I don't normally read jokes but this was hilarious. It is similar to one I read years ago from an insurance company giving actual explanations of accidents. Thanks for a good laugh.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Aug 07
Hilarious and comical, yet also one more reason why I am nervous everytime I have to go to a hospital or doctors office!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Aug 07
Funny as He!! and cute I LMAO
1 person likes this
• Canada
11 Aug 07
Uhhhh....and these are the educated people who are supposed to be caring for us? It is halarious alright...but a little scarey too...because you say they are true!!! Anyway, I have cut and pasted this because it confirms why I try to avoid going to the doctor and subjecting myself to tests and examinations unless absolutely necessary. The contradictory bloopers reveals something...but I am not sure what about those who are 'charting' patient progress. Anyway it was good for a chuckl and I appreciate you posting it.
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I was a nurse for 10 years in a very large nursing center...I have seen so many things like this...I used to do what is called a "chart audit" which menat that I looked through and read many of the entries made for a resident...it is appalling what you might find there... On the flip side of that...I have been the nurse for 90 residents with 15 major things happening within minutes of each other and felt run into the ground....plus ensuring optimal care of the resident....keeping an eye on the other staff, and answering the phones...calling & faxing the doctors...ambulance in and out...family members who need to talk about something that concerns their family member...getting stopped in mid-word, sentence or thought are as ordinary as breathng....
@mummymo (23709)
12 Aug 07
It was cruel to make me laugh so much there weemam! You know too much laughing could set me off again! Thank you so much for sharing this sweetheart! xxxx