how do i make a mother out of my daughter?

United States
August 11, 2007 8:18am CST
iam a grandmother who is sick and scared for my daughter she had her baby when she was young and passed her around since she been here there are times that i don't even know where my granddaughter will be at.at the moment she(my granddaughter) is currently with me and safe and happy. i love my daughter but iam tired of her not loving herself and her child enough to let the streets go iam here for them both if there is anyone who can help me on custody laws and grandparents laws i dont want to read about my grand daughter in the news.help me please
8 people like this
8 responses
@student7 (1002)
• United States
11 Aug 07
Ok if you live in the U.S., you can petition your state's department of child services and see if you can get full custody of your grandchild. This will put the mother at the point that she will have to pay the state the money that you get for your granddaughter. You can get her to sign her parental rights away if she is unable to afford the payments. This will be in effect like signing to adopt the child. I think that you should really consult an attorney on this and see what the attorney has to say. There are attornies out there that will give you a free consultation. If you are unable to afford one, go to legal aid and see what they can do for you. The child's best interest is at stake here and if she is happy where she is right now, then so be it. Oh another thing that you can do is have you and your daughter write out something saying that you her approval to be the child's legal guardian and have it notorized. Note that both you and her have to be there. Good luck, I hope this helps you some.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
12 Aug 07
Well not knowing what state you are in makes it a little tougher to narrow down things but I would contact a lawyer or legal aid in your area and find out EXACTLY where you stand legally...once you have that information THEN you can act accordingly....
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 07
i am in georgia
• United States
12 Aug 07
I hate to say this, but you really cannot make a mother out of your daughter, she has to choose to be a mother. If she cannot care for herself or her daughter then she should never have become a mother.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I am so grateful that my daughter is a wonderful mother. I hear stories like yours all the time. As a grandparent you do have some rights. You could go to court against your daughter and get granted custody. That would be the extreme way as it will no doubt destroy your relationship with your daughter. If it were me, I would talk to my daughter and see if she would grant me custody and she would still be allowed to visit her daughter. This way you would be the one to make all the major decisions in the child's life.It's a big responsibility. Are you in a position to do this for your granddaughter? I know a lady that actually adopted her granddaughter in order to see to it the child was raised properly. The child is now 5 and refers to her gram as mom because the real mother has so little to do with her. It's a sad situation and not fair at all to the grandparents or the children. Children need both their grandparents and their parents. There really is no ideal solution to your problem. Your granddaughter is very lucky to have you in her life!!
@marje_09 (63)
• Philippines
12 Aug 07
I am a grandmother of 3 and only one daughter. At first i got a problem also with my daughter, she left her at first 2 children to anybody the fact taht i am here. At first i keep on talking to GOD, where did i go wrong Lord, why is my daughter do this, i ams cared for her someday because of what she was doing might return to her on the day she would be at my age. I asked GOD please help my daughter to have fears in her heart, let her back to me with the children. I did not quit of finding them and it was her birthday, i got a chance to check at the place she was before. There they are, my eldest grand dauhgter was so thin, i almost cried she was malnourished. I took her and carry, kiss her and embraced her. In a little while my daughter come to me and embraced me while crying. I asked her to have lunch outside where she stayed and i can them very starving. NOw i am happy they are back and it's the answer from my PRAYER to GOD. You are asking if somebody could help you.......well if your daughter is irresponsible enough towards her obligation to her daughter (your grand daughter) then you can ask the help from your law office. I think, all you have to do is to love your grand daughter, give her that unfilled love from her mother, but don't spoil her, that is one way to win her sympathy to stay with you. In the court if you might be grandted then because you show being a good mother for her....snd if the child will be ask ther could be a chance that your grand daughter will choose to stay with you rather that to her mother if you really scared of that she (your daughter) could not give your grand daughter a ood tomorrow. Anothet thing you can asked the agency involved in taking custody to a child......what are the requirements needed. Most parents referring to new generations do that to their children. We are lucky enough because we are strong enought to face the problems we encountered in our life not like them.......they wanted to be happy go lucky and greedy enough to think for themselves alone.......What could be the reason why young mothers hated their child?
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
11 Aug 07
Each state has their own laws regarding custody, who is entitled to custody, who can sue for custody. You need to get a consultation with an attorney in your state who can help you to see if you are entitled to pursue custody of your granddaughter. Also, see if there are any charitable organizations in your state that can help you. I work for Catholic Charitied where I live and they have so many programs for families that are free of charge, including free legal counsel with attorneys who donate their time. It is non-denominational so check and see if you have a branch in your state that you can contact. They will point you in the right direction for answers. Good luck.
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
11 Aug 07
Here is a link for Catholic Charities USA where you can locate a branch near you: http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/
4 Jan 08
Have you resolved your situation? I have had legal custody of my granddaughter, since she was 6 months old, she is turning 4 in a couple of days. I was told by a lot of people that I would not get custody of her, it was useless to try to go to court to get custody. I didn't listen to them, I petitioned the juvenile court for custody, it took some time, but I did win custody. It can be a very long journey, and the best advice that I can give you is to Document Everything, consult an attorney, and protect your granddaughter. Don't give up!!
@lvhughes (545)
• United States
11 Aug 07
my husband was raised the same way until his grandparent finally filed for custidy of him and his 2 sisters. I feel for you and your grandchild. you will both be in my prayers. the only way to help your grandchild is to fight for her. i know it is hard to have to go against your own child but your grand babys life may depend on it. Good luck. and God Bless