Almost 6 weeks and dying to tell...

United States
August 12, 2007 12:41am CST
my fiance's family. My family already knows, as well as a few people at work. It's just a matter of time before they find out, because we all work at the same place. I would rather tell them myself, but he doesn't want to tell them until next month. Should I go against his wishes and tell them, or hope they don't find out or get upset if they do find out from someone else? I feel bad enough not telling them that I left work early yesterday because I was not feeling well because I am pregnant. I hate lying, and keeping silent is the same as lying. I feel bad either way, because I am either keeping something wonderful and important hidden, or I am defying my fiance. What should I do?
4 people like this
13 responses
• United States
13 Aug 07
It may sound terribly old fashioned for me to say, but maybe it is because you two are not married yet and waiting a month will prove you didn't get married because you were pregnant. The others could be right also in that he wants to wait until the danger period is over especially if there has been problems in his fanily in the past. Congradulations and may God bless you with a healthy happy baby.
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
13 Aug 07
Talk to your fiance, beside being pregnant is not bad as long as you love each other and willing to accept all the commitment and ups n downs of being married. Having a child is a greatest gift that a man and a woman should ever received, lying or not accepting the truth even at once gives you a bad impression from the person you lied. Talk very clearly and explain the importance of being honest in the early time of your marriage towards your inlaws. who knows tellin them the truth makes you more closer to them and you make them happy too.
• China
13 Aug 07
You must immediately told him to avoid in favor of a deeper misunderstanding
@sacmom (14338)
• United States
13 Aug 07
First of all congratulations! Secondly, if your boyfriend wants to wait to tell his side of the family until next month then you should respect his wishes. If his family does happen to find out from someone else, then just be honest with them and say that your guy just wanted to wait until you were a little further along. There's nothing wrong with waiting to tell the family and hopefully they will be understanding. Good luck! :)
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I vote that you should go along with your fiances wishes. If it is that important to him you should just do it i think. I know you are happy and anxious to tell but you have to be respectful to his feelings as well. Does he tell you why he wants to wait?
@kage2k3 (1444)
• India
12 Aug 07
First of all congratulations. Second thing talk to your fiance and tell him what you want. Because one way or other your inlaws will know about it and that could cause you trouble.
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
12 Aug 07
I don't know what you should do. In my family, we don't tell until the 3 month mark, I am not sure why - I think because we feel it's safer then. Maybe your fiance's family has something like that?
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
12 Aug 07
When I was working and found out I was pregnant I told my boss before I told any of my co-workers. I wanted to have an ultrasound done before telling them anything. I think it is your news to tell and your co workers should respect that but I'm sure there is someone who is dying to tell another there so I think you should tell everyone since others already know before someone else spreads your news. Congratulations
@MrsFrizzle (1964)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I am also 6 weeks and we planed to wait to tell people but that did not last very long. I would talk to your finance and ask why he wants to wait. We know that miscarriages happen so that is why we where waiting originally but then decided to tell because if something did happen we would want their support. I let my husband tell his family when and how he wanted because it is his family. I told my family when and how I wanted.
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
12 Aug 07
If it were me, I would sit down and have a real discussion with your man about this. If he is set on it and you don't think he'll even listen then write a letter to him explaining the reasons you want to tell and that you don't like lying. It is his family after all but explain to him that if they find out before you guys get to tell them that you would appreciate it if he would let them know you wanted to tell them so they are not mad AT YOU! That's the last thing you need right now while you are pregnant. I hope it all works out!
• China
12 Aug 07
yes for one thing it is just a matter of time before they find out
@Gemmygirl1 (2871)
• Australia
12 Aug 07
Just talk to your husband & explain the way you feel & see if you can come to some sort of agreement about when to tell. I refused to tell ANYONE until we were past the forst trimester, you don't wanna go telling everyone too early just in case. I thought it was best to wait until we were past the dangerous stage before we got anyone's hopes up about possible nieces/nephews, Grandkids etc. Around the 12 week mark, was my Mum's 50th birthday so we were able to put in the first ultrasound photo in to her birthday card & spring it on her, she was over the moon. I think he has a right to know what you want to do, they are his family, if they did find out from someone else, you just simply tell them you were waiting a while before you told them - JUST IN CASE. It is a wonderful thing but i think it's always better to wait until you're out of the high risk section.
• India
12 Aug 07
Well, the best thing to do would be to have a long talk with your fiance, and settle the matter by convincing him that if you or he dont tell your In-Laws, they might find out some other way, and that might give you a bad impression. Pregnancy is but a part of marriage, so why should you let your in-laws find out someother way, and label you as dishonest for trying to hide something like this? Remember, this can be easily found if they have a good long look at you, so why hide something which they have got to know t some stage? I mean they will know sometime, so why not NOW?