how do you turn a someone you dont like off?

@hahzen63 (157)
Philippines
August 15, 2007 5:18am CST
I have this really really clingy next door housemate who is infatuated, (i think its a more appropriate term) to me. I just could not get him to go away. I tried being nice. I even tried being darn mean but then he still clings like cling wrap and won't even give me the privacy I want. Ei, I want to be as kind as possible, but it just did not work out. I talked it over with him, and he says he likes a challenge! He's just not my type and am not just into guys like him. If anyone there could give me an answer to turn this guy off without farting or sneezing on his face (which is way too rude) do tell me. and i would really owe you one for it.
3 people like this
7 responses
• United States
15 Aug 07
I've had this happen to me a few times before. The best thing to do is to ignore him. If you give him any kind of attention..whether positive or negative, it will only urge him to do more because he sees a response and like you say, he likes a challenge. So, the best thing to do is to ignore him. Don't engage him in any kind of conversation or contact. Don't give him a change to be alone with you. Surround yourself with friends. I know you think that you're being rude and mean but the truth is, HE is the one that is being rude and mean and trying to "bully" you into going out with him. Shame on him! He should respect your wishes and leave you alone.
@hahzen63 (157)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
thanks for the advice. but he's just one tough bully. which is why i moved away, and cut all connections whatsoever. It may sound cowardly, but he really is not the type to give up that easily. Believe me I have tried everything possible. (sigh) where have all the good guys gone?
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
15 Aug 07
stalker - how to get rid of a stalker?
Well, if you have a boyfriend he should be the one to "deal" with this persistent suitor of yours. If you don't have a boyfriend, it's time to get a fake one! If you have a really close guy friend, someone that the stalker doesn't know, ask him for a favor to pretend to be your boyfriend. Show the stalker and tell the stalker that you're already seeing someone. A decent guy would back off in such a situation. The down side of this is that the jealousy might bring out the real psycho in him and your problem could get worse. In that case you might have to move out of that neighborhood, change your phone number, and tell the stalker you're moving to a different country!
1 person likes this
@hahzen63 (157)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
hi wisedragon! i moved to a different place after a month of basically ignoring him. He just won't stop, I tried everyone's advice him, even asked a co-worker to pretend where like getting close, but he just is to darn stubborn. Says as long as I ain't married yet he won't stop. Which is why, I moved away and changed my number. hehe...now am completely at peace on that case, and trying to be firm on my decision regarding the most recent discussion i posted that you also responded. tc.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 07
LOL - I don't really know what you should do...maybe you could tell him your not into guys anymore! Ha! That'd probably make matters worse knowing men LOL. Or bring a guy friend around to pretend he's your new boyfriend. Have you tried down right ignoring him?
1 person likes this
@Philxav (733)
• Malaysia
16 Aug 07
oh dear.. sometimes.. u have to get straight to the point.. just tell him what you feel and make it straight to him..
1 person likes this
• Brazil
15 Aug 07
I don't like to say directly because I'm afraid to hurt his feelings So I try to make him understand for himself I ignore, but not on a rude way
1 person likes this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
15 Aug 07
I agree with the first poster; ignore him completely. If that doesn't work tell him point-blank to leave you alone. If that doesn't work let him know that if he doesn't leave you alone you will make a complaint of 'stalking' to the police. I hope something works for you. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
15 Aug 07
Awwww, that's a rough one to deal with. It's hard to be nice in the face of someone who is basically harassing you despite you having made your wishes known. If you truly don't like him (even as a friend) then maybe the next time that you can tell him that you are seriously thinking of having charges brought up against him for being a stalker. (Or mention something to that effect to his roommate) I would add that 'I don't really want to do this, but you are giving me no choice here.' (If that doesn't stop him I'd be surprised.) Being nice is one thing, but having it fall upon deaf ears is another. It may sound drastic, but basically what he IS doing is stalking and harrassing. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you must do something to get the point across. I think most people would back off if they thought that maybe they might get into serious trouble over it. Notice I'm saying that you should mention this as a 'possibility' of action that you might do...but if that doesn't work, then you would need to follow through and actually do that and file a report. If he still does this after mentioning to him that you might report him, then you might have a more serious problem at hand with him, and I wouldn't think you should feel guilty over protecting yourself. Let your gut be your guide, and good luck with that!
@hahzen63 (157)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
He is way out of his mind if you ask me! And he won't stop easily too. As to what I had posted to the other mylotters who were kind enough to offer their piece of mind regarding the matter, I decided to move out. Now, if ever something bad happens to me, its all documented in the diary I keep. And my folks know his name and address too. Also found one police friend. Hehe...Had myself protected. Took your advice. thanks.
1 person likes this
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I'm glad to hear from you and get an update...I've thought about you and wondered if you were OK & safe. Sorry to read you had to move, but maybe it's for the best in the long run. (I'd take safety and peace of mind over living accomodations any day lol!) Glad you are keeping a diary and that your parents are armed with necessary information, that was a wise decision and hopefully nobody will ever have to use it. Best wishes for your happiness and peace of mind... and I'm glad you're safe. PS...thanks for 'best response' :-)