What do you do when you meet a new friend/person for the first time?

@dpk262006 (52366)
Delhi, India
August 17, 2007 11:33pm CST
Dear Friends, what do you normally do when you meet a new person or a friend for the first time? Do you feel like telling him/her about yourself first or do you wish to know about him/her beforehand, before disclosing details about yourself? I on my part, would like to know about the other fellow, before disclosing details about myself. Please share your experiences and views. Thanks in advance.
8 people like this
29 responses
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
18 Aug 07
What normally others do. Shake Hands, introduce once again and exchange pleasantaries.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
My precise question is if you have open up on the first meeting, will you open up first or would allow this opportunity to the other fellow? Have a nice day!
@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
please read 'have to' in place of 'have'.
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
27 Aug 07
NO reservations. If my memory serves right, I go upto him. If in doubt, I will not take initiative.
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@apsara60 (6613)
• Israel
20 Aug 07
From the bitter experiences of life, I have learnt that when old people said SILENCE IS GOLD, they knew what they were talking. There was a time when I trusted every new person I met. Told him freely about all my weakness and all my faults. But soon I found that person with whom I was talking as my friend became completely stranger in short span of time. And then I was hurt and frustrated to think how foolish I was to trust just any xyz. But now I am a changed person. I pefer to remain silent and explore the opposite person if I am really interested in him or her. I would like to spend more time with this person to know exactly what kind of person he/she is. It is better to be careful right from the begining so that later on you are not hurt or embarassed.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
So your experience has shown you the way to remain silent and your experience has made you wiser. I agree with you that it would be safer, not to disclose details about you in the first or second meeting to the other fellwo. It would be better if we get to know about the other fellow first, before we tell about ourselves. I normally do not open up quickly, with others, in the first meeting. Thanks for such a wonderful and interesting response. Have a nice day! Deepak
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@apsara60 (6613)
• Israel
27 Aug 07
Thanks to you too for understanding my discussion and calling it interesting and not boring.....lol.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
30 Aug 07
You will always write interesting replies and comments, I firmly believe.
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@subathra (3519)
• India
20 Aug 07
hi deepak, I know you are curious in knowing about your new friend.I could remember how our friendship started ..slowly...and its your way of expressing and some good mesages which made me trust and be freindly with you. Eventhough iam curious to know the details from my new friend ..i dont mind telling about myself first if he/she wishes to know.I will proceed in the same way as per my friends way of telling about personal details.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
Suba! Thanks for wonderful response. And Heartiest Congratulations! You have crossed '2000' mark. You are right, I remain curious to know about my friends and I open up gradually, I would like the other fellow to open up first. So you can tell about yourself first without hesitation and without knowing about the other person. So sweet of you. Have a nice day!
@subathra (3519)
• India
27 Aug 07
thanks for wishing me deepak..have a great week ahead.
@Buchi_bulla (8299)
• India
23 Aug 07
While smiling and saying hello, I will try to make out what sort of person he/she is. If they are of my type then I will continue talking. However, I will not reveal all my personal stuff unless I am pretty sure what type they are. As some people listen to us and the other side make fun of us with our own details.
@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
30 Aug 07
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your thinking.
@touchnshine (2822)
• India
22 Aug 07
Well when I meet a new friend for the first time .. I tell him about myself as well as ask about himself. In the first meeting I just keep on talking, talking and talking in order to get to know the person as much as I can.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
30 Aug 07
But dear if you keep on talking yourself and will not allow the other fellow to speak, how can you know more about him...I think, if you wish to know about the other fellow, you need to give her/him an opportunity to speak. Dono aagar bolongey to sunega kaun???LOl! Have a nice day!
@kaplya (1578)
• India
22 Aug 07
i too like to know about the person then telling them about me.i think it must be an instinct in us social humans to do so:)
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
30 Aug 07
YOu are like me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
• Hong Kong
20 Aug 07
I would really pay attention to his/ her conversation and body language. I would be interested to get to know the person way more than disclosing my details (not that I have something to hide, but I don't really think myself as being that interesting). I would be interested to know what he/ she does in life, past, interests ...etc. I am always more interested in knowing things about people. I think people are really interesting. Each one of them has his/ her own story of some sort!
@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
Thanks for wonderful response, I understand that you follow the same approach as I. I would like to know about other fellow first, before opening up and I agree with you that body language and gestures do count, when someone talks to you. Have a nice day!
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@vinzen (1024)
• India
18 Aug 07
Hi, well it depends from person to person. Some people would like to talk about themsleves only all the time, not giving any chance to the other person, some would not talk and expect the other person to tell me everything first, some would be like me, who would make the talking two sided, i mean that i may start the coversation, ask the name maybe and expect an answer back, then ask what they do, and answer the same question myself too, so that the conversation does not have to stop, its communication and conversation when both sides talk together. I mean that both sides should talk , one questions, the other answers and vice versa. And slowly as we keep talking, things can be disclosed about either sides, theres no harm then. But kep the talks on from both sides, thats what i would say.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
30 Aug 07
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.I appreciate your thoughts.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
18 Aug 07
hi deepak, Since you are talking about a new person altogether, i guess, i would rather call him an acquaintance rather than friend. FRIEND - is a precious word which has deeper implications and i donot want to profane it. i am sure even you would not want it to use it so broadly. So, when i meet someone, i hardly take the first initiative unless i am in office where, as you know, i have to for professional demand. otherwise, i wouldnot talk first. generally, i am a introvert person and wait for the other person to start it all, leave alone disclosing my SELF. that would come far later in life, if atall we get along comfortably. Deepak, for this reason, i have found my friends confiding in me without inhibition but they keep on complaining about the fact that i donot tell them more about me. they kind of miss out on the happenings in my life. i feel sorry, for they are really sweet but i just cannot share with anyone and everyone. Can i go a little further and predict something about you? You are the kind of person who is really sweet to start the friendship with whom you feel you share similar vibes. but then you would go slow, next step you would want him to take and then may be after long friendship you would confide in your real self. as far as helping and reaching out is concerned, you are the first to help out. 'A friend in need is the friend indeed' - you match upto the adage to the fullest. i am lucky to have you as my friend, i really do.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
OK! You may call him acquaintance rather than friend. I understand your point that - you would not like to use the word 'friend' for everyone. I can understand that you are an introvert person and a patient listener, so your friends confide in you without any inhibition, because they also know that you would pay your full attention and concern to their problems. Like you, I also do not open with immediately with someone say an acquaintance in the first meeting. If I have to talk, I will give him/her the first opportunity to tell about him/her. You have successfully acquired the skills about predicting your friends' nature. Great! Your assessment about me are almost correct - 99/100. Thanks for such a great, wonderful and thoughtful response. Have a nice day!
@theprogamer (10543)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I think slowly revealing yourself and having another reveal themselves to you slowly and naturally is the best clause. It gives both of you more time to like each other even if you have points of disagreement or possible polarizing differences. Slow growth in your relationship allows you to build together and to accept/like each other despite shortcomings. Friendships and relationships like that are the strongest and the connection, the time together, it will be something you will both cherish. One of my best friendships started like this. Even though we are now physically apart, we keep in touch and are quite connected.
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@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
25 Aug 07
Thanks very much for your excellent thoughts. I completely agree with you that if a relationship develops gradually, it will be more lasting. We need to build our relationships. Have a nice day!
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
18 Aug 07
Meeting and getting acquainted with a new person always involve formal introduction of self and details about career or profession. Only in subsequent meetings do two people get to know each other and begin to establish good friendship.
@dpk262006 (52366)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
My precise question is if you have to open up on the first meeting, will you open up first or would allow this opportunity to the other fellow? Have a nice day!
@hotchi (21)
• Hong Kong
22 Aug 07
Normally, I think the approach should be casual however not too casual of course. You do not have to open up yourself right away to that person nor expect them to do it. It would always start with an introduction of one self. followed by the basic infos. .xchi
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@polachicago (19143)
• United States
19 Aug 07
I don't tell much about myself if I see someone for the first time. Why would I? I also trust my instincts and ability to read people.
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@cutiedhes (509)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
Just like you if ever i met a new friend i would love to ask anything about them before i go tell about myself. And if ever i am comfortable with them and knows that i can already trust them that's the time i would open up and console with them.
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• China
18 Aug 07
do you mean meet with each other and have face to face conversation ? if you mean that .i think i will choose the one different from the two above.i will not give a brief introduction like this'hi ,nice to meet you,i am what what what ,and i am X years old .i like playing football and i like beckham!```````' i will introduce myself step by step. i will do like this : hi,nice to see you .i am what what what .how can i call you? then,we can exchange more details about ourselves,suck as hobbies,food,school,age ,and so on. i think it would be good !
@jlcp25 (45)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I'd like to hear more about them first, but usually end up going into more detail about myself than I would like at first. My job really interests a lot of people (medical transcriptionist and I work from home) and I find that I can talk about it forever, so that is usually what we get stuck on and the questions come at me from there.
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@shinjiao (1465)
• China
18 Aug 07
I will introduce myself firstly,and if there are my friends around us,I will introduce the new guy to my friends.Because we both sides meet for the first time,so some questions are necessary,such as the new guy's background(his school/job,his hobbies and so on),but all the questions are polite and general,that's to say,I won't ask very personal questions.
• India
18 Aug 07
my first thing there s smileeee.....smile s an universal language,... so tat's firstttt
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@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
18 Aug 07
Interesting question. When it is someone I meed for the first time, it will be rather casual. I do not probe into his privacy. Neither do I focus on myself. The subject topic will be casual too. It will just be view sharing.
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@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
18 Aug 07
i guess most of times start to talk about myself but also asking questions to my friend trying to have a both of us discussion with details from the both parts.i guess that is the best way if you meet a friend that likes also talking.but there are people that don't feel so well when you want to talk to them and ask questions.may be hard and uncomfortable for them to talk if they don't like to
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