what do think about inter-racial relationships?

@daryljane (3439)
Philippines
August 20, 2007 8:48am CST
im filipina, and bow involve with a black american..he happened to be one of our clients at work, and not like we met on the internet and stuff like that..although he lives in the US and im in the PH, we continue with the communication through emails and chat...there are times that when he is all too excited and thrilled about the idea of being in love, but then again, when he starts telling his friends about the relationship and his friends tells him at his age he still beleives in stuff on the internet, his hope suddenly goes down, and starts to be pessimistic about lots of thing within the relationship... he thinks why i happened to like him when he ie black and all that...sometimes, we end up hours of conversation, me trying to convince him..I admit, i do like him, no question on that..but cant i love someone just because he is black??? guys, help me out, what do you think about inter racial relationship? and is it bad just because he is black and im filipina?
5 people like this
18 responses
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
20 Aug 07
All that matters in a loving relationship is the two people in involved and how they feel,nothing or no-one else matters, you are two people living for lives and the only thing in the whole world that matters is that you are happy, race,creed,colour, age nothing matters, happiness is the meaning of life...you enjoy what you have and be happy my friend.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
thanks lilaclady....im just worried about him being so negative when his freinds starts joking about him believing things..i already dont know how to convince him...and it hurts me!
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
22 Aug 07
Maybe they are jealous...
• United States
21 Aug 07
Race should never matter, if you love the person and you both are good people and have the financial means to take care of yourselves then I see nothing wrong with it.
1 person likes this
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
thanks rogue...i really love him..hope this wont go to waste...:)
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
21 Aug 07
I think that there should be no problem if you love each other dearly whatever colour you are. Colour is not a problem. The only problem is that you should love each other from the bottom of your heart and show respect to each other. Hi, friend. Just tell him not worry about his color and be proud of his color. I have a couple of colleagues who are interracial wife and husband. The beautiful wife is from China and the handsome husband is from America, a tall old white man. And there is a very big age gap between them. He is old enough to be her father. I have another couple of colleagues as well as husband and wife. His wife is Chinese and he is Japanese. They are almost of the same age. They both live happily since their marriage. So friend, there is no need for your boyfriend to worry about his being black. So what? Besides, interracial children are more clever and beautiful, I think. I support you both for the love and marriage, daryljane.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
hi william...can you help me convinvce him...lolz!! seriuosly, im being patient about the situation though..hope this will really work out..too bad if its going nowhere right?
1 person likes this
• China
23 Aug 07
The best one to help convince is your boyfriend himself. You know, he needs to build self-confidence in doing whatever. Of course help may be needed from his friends to make him change his old ideas. Good luck, friend.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
thanks william...im right now giving him time for himself without being too pushy about all this...maybe he need to rethink about the idea...thanks :)
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 07
I am slightly going to disagree. While I agree anyone should be able to marry anyone, no matter what race, ethnic group, religion whatever. However before you enter into such romances, consider all the consequences that may go along with the relationship. Then after you are sure you can deal with it make your decision.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
honestly, ive taight about that before i entered the relationship..i know that there are consequences that comes with this...thanks
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
31 Aug 07
I better than anyone can understand your remark. Its a good one and I completely agree.
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
21 Aug 07
Can't you love someone because he is black? Beats me. I was never able to appreciate the logic behind this problem. I"m not blind. I can see colors and differences like anyone else, but I have no idea why they matter. BLack ,blue, purple, pink or lettuce green, who cares about the color? We are all people and what each person is , is what it matters. Unfortunately many people still have this kind of prejudice. I thought at first that it was only the older people ,but sadly, I learned that even younger people sometimes think like this. I know this by experience. Twice I had to back off and let go of a relationship because of race, and it is very interesting that each time I was "not acceptable" for opposite reasons. For one, I was not acceptable to his family because - due to my mixed background that does include "black" - I could have black children. For the other I was not acceptable because I was white. GO figure! It really is true that we can't please every body :) Maybe one day, people will step over the limits of their own prejudices and learn to live life fully as it should be done - without the judgment of differences and races. There's enough bad things to worry about, we don't need to be looking at colours and differences too.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
guess we are on the same boat huh? but mine is about me fighting and trying to convince him about our situation, i just hope one day he will learn to work on the relationship and not worry about what people thinks...make a difference maybe...i dont know..honestly, its tiresome...wish me luck!
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
I wish you all the luck in the world. One day this kind of problem simple won't exist.
@bowtieguy (5927)
• United States
27 Aug 07
The only problem I see is the ridicule that they will recieve from the general public, but if they are strong enough to bear it then more power to them, i'm sure god new when he placed diffrent races on this earth he knew that one day they would intertwine with each other, so I do not see why everyone has a problem with it if the man upstairs is fine with it.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
thanks bowtieguy..i hope some people will start to accept all things and its possibilites...
• Malaysia
27 Aug 07
If you really think he is the one, I think there is no reason why you shouldn't continue with the relationship. However, you should think about his side too. You mentioned that lately both of you had chatted hours and you wasted time on persuading him to continue the relationship. Do you really think it is because of his friends, or is it him that wanted an escape from this relationship but doesn't want to show that is it obviously from him? So he creates a reason of disapproving friends... Do you really know him in person outside the internet? If your relationship is 90% based on internet communication, maybe you should meet outside the net and see how it goes. You have to do this if you really love him and want to marry him, live with him for the rest of your life. Happiness lies in your decision. Make a wise one, and before making a decision make sure you know why you are making it. Get to know him inside out. Learn his weaknesses and make sure you know that he really, truly loves you. Good luck.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
indeed! in fact, ive asked him if maybe he is only making excuses and wanted out...i went out of touch for a while and here he comes running after me..
@anon12 (31)
• United States
27 Aug 07
"is it bad just because hes black and your filpina?" NO whats bad is he's an idiot!! that worrys about what his friends think...drop him !
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
you think so? im actually almost doing that right now..he's being stubborn and all that..but im giving it more time...thanks!
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I think you need to follow your heart- although how does it work with him in the states and you in the Philippines? That would be what I worried about- Not about your races. Inter-racial relationships are fine with me- I think people are all the same- what is color? If there is some way that you 2 can have a relationship by either you moving here or him moving there- then I say go for it- whatever makes you 2 happy.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
i think him getting here is not that possible..i think its like right love at wrong time..lolz!
@navtech (1776)
• India
22 Aug 07
Dear daryljane, Love has no religion, race, colour. It comes spontaniously from the heart of human being. I am in India. We have 22 lingustic states. In every state people speak in different languages. Of course, Hindi our national language. My relative's son married a woman whose language, culture, food habits everything differs from ours. They are married and living happily. Only thing is very important in such love affair that both should like/love each other and should not question why do you like me since I am so and so.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
thanks for that navtech! were already working on our difference with regards to cultures and traditions...
• India
21 Aug 07
its just thinking in ur mind it a trebute from our forefathers which the inocent persons have to bere.........
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
:) thanks!
@evanpoe (122)
• United States
21 Aug 07
Don't worry about what other people think and this guy you're seeing should do the same thing. If you put too much emphasis on what other people think and the stigma behind a relationship it takes all the fun out of it. You're trying something new and taking a risk so be glad for it! As for the hangups about race, I personally don't think it matters. Real love comes so rarely why would someone pass it up over something as stupid as exterior physical traits? That's just foolishness IMO.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
he is the one putting too much emphasis on what people thinks...and i understand that...i hope one day, things will dawn to him likely and will learn how to deal with it the im dealing it...thanks evanpoe :)
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
21 Aug 07
Okay I'm gonna take the cheap shot approach on this one. You two really aren't from different races, everyone involved is human :). Yea yea *waits for the boos and jeers to die down*.... I don't think the situation is bad at all, in fact it doesn't even register on my radar. Your feelings are your own and your situation is not bad at all. I bet you love him for more than just the color of his skin (chances are its the same for him to you too). Denying your feelings is a mistake too, don't go and suppress them just because some may not agree with the relationship. From the sound of it, it'll be a tough sell convincing the guy you like him for him but if the feelings are matching just keep trying to convince him and his heart will come around. You should always remind him about what you like about him, especially character dynamics. Also get him to admit what he likes about you, make it a deep and reciprocate conversation when you try it again. The answers may be hard, but I think you'll grow to understand them when they come to light. It maybe a bit selfish/narrow to like him just because he's black but with some introspection(self) and communication(lover) you'll probably figure out there is more to it than what's on the outside.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
thanks drear...ill take your work for that...wish me luck! :)
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 07
the saying around here sue to be "you dont have a prayer with long distance relationship, unless the gods smile on you". that was then and now in the internet age i keep seeing my friends from back home traveling to this part of the world, get married and bring their new wife back to the states. so far 11 of my friends have done it and i pray they are all happy. mix marriage? nothing wrong about it. any opinions regarding this matter would either be supportive or racist. take your pick.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
hmmm..id pick supportive..and i hope he can be too...thanks!
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
21 Aug 07
I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. You like who you like. There are only two people in this relationship and those two should only care about what the other thinks. They should not bother themselves with what people on the outside say. You do not know what their motives are for saying the things that they do. It could simply be jealously. You two need to do what makes you happy and noy worry about other people.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
yeah, i hope we can go through this...thanks a lot rozie..
• United States
20 Aug 07
It is not bad because you are Filipina and he is Black. It has problems because you are in PH and he is in the U.S.There is nothing wrong with prefering black men as partners.It is just the type of man you are attracted to.It doesn't matter what color you are . Love is love.I wish you two could be together and not be so far apart. I think where to trouble lies. Long distance relationships are hard. But if you love each other, then it is worth it. Good Luck.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
thanks Sarah...thats one thing too..were far from each other..its really hard having long distance relationship...i just hope this will work..thanks!
1 person likes this
@moore829 (15)
• United States
20 Aug 07
Dont let the color of someone's skin interfer with the relationship.. but rather the the beating of your heart when you are with them.. THATS what is important. Sorry, but if he isnt willing to take you serious because of the color of your skin, your wasting your time.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
i think he is more worried about out situation and his friends telling him why i like him because he is black...i really dont know..he is worrying about lots of things and deprive himself to being happy...
@AmbiePam (50265)
• United States
20 Aug 07
There is no shame in loving someone from a different race. A couple will face prejudice, but all that matters is how they feel about each other. There will always be ignorant people in the world, but showing you are above it all, helps set the world right.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
yeah! thats what were facing right now..the thing is though, he gets affected right away...