How will you know if a guy is sincere and not a pretender?

@ciades (1624)
Philippines
August 20, 2007 9:51pm CST
Guys can pretend that they are inlove with you. They can pretend that they are sincere and no other want is to love you thru thick and thin. They can make you believe and they can make you trust with them. I have a friend who had a relationship with in five years to her boyfriend. She is rich and older than to her boyfriend. She was shock and can't believe of what she heard from his boyfiend mouth while making a confession to her. Unexpected and unbelievable that the man she love of all of her life just PRETENDING to her WITH IN FIVE YEARS? Oh my His an actor a very good actor! An excellent pretender. For five years? After what he promised and his planned and its suddenly change as easily as like that?!! Oh girls?!! you should becareful in choosing a right one! so what can you say? How will you know if a guy is sincere and not a pretender?
3 people like this
9 responses
21 Aug 07
If a guy is pretending,then there is no need to do something.It just can be realises by his moves,by his thinking n by the care he do for the gal.But if you still wanna know n do something to judge them,the best way is to make him angry & then observe the way he shows his anger on the gal.If he his angry from the gal but still is in control n just tries to make the gal understand himself n also understands her n tries to make situation light...then he is the true one.But if he is toooo rude,uses harsh words n just asks not to talk to him anymore n also in the anger,if he coments on you for something concerned to you which he never mentioned before or he has hidden that thing in his mind for this point only.Then the guy does not knows the word love or just pretending to be in.
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
hey, vikas_rawat21? are you a guy? nice to read it from you!..tnx and gud day!
1 person likes this
@raijin (10382)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
We can never tell, as we can never be sure of what goes inside a person's mind. I am a man, but I believe that every one of us make our own decisions. It can be for good and wise, but there's also just for selfish interests and cruel intentions. There's also one that I call, accidental mistakes, made by an individual who just got into a situation where they struggle to get out of. I believe that there are still "men" out there who are sincere, those who'd consider women's feelings and well-being. Having a relationship, is a trial and error and it's only up to us on how to make it good to last for a lifetime.
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
nice one! i like you for that!:-) tnx and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10543)
• United States
21 Aug 07
That's one of the main qualms with dating in today's scene, the dishonesty. It sucks but it's becoming more of an issue with both women and men, its also a real buzzkilling reason to not even attempt a relationship. If you need help finding if you've got a pretender, you could always ask sources around him or her. Of course this isn't always effective because friends/family can lie on his/her behalf too, but there's also a chance you'll get some excellent tidbits about the real person you are dating. Another thing to do, maybe catch him in a phone conversation, you might see you're pretender's real self. And there are other methods you can use (double IM/email identities, use your friends to test him/her, etc) And as always, don't let my grim news discourage you too much. I wish you all the best with your relationships.
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
:-)
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 07
That must have come as a shock. It happens, though. And men are not the only ones at fault. Women can do that, too. I believe that it is very important to spend lots of time together, not just in "romantic" surroundings, but in situations where their character will be tested. For instance, ask them to help you weed your yard and observe how they work, what they say, if they even agree to do it to begin with. Or set up a task that is meant as a test. Ask them to move a pile of heavy rocks for you, then the next day, ask them to move them back to where they were before. This ought to bring out their character. Another suggestion I have would be, go to a mall or fair or some such place where there are a lot of people. Carefully observe where his eyes are looking. Men who have a habit of looking over other women even when they are with their girlfriend or wife, will most likely be unfaithful at some point. Hope it helps. :)
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
Actually i had a topic about that. I titled it as "Man EYES". YOu can also make a response if you want to. HEHEH. actually i am a little bit feminist you know. Only little!:-)LOLO! Thanks and gud day!
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
21 Aug 07
I am really sorry for your friend and one word for that guy -JERK! I don't know if I am supposed to answer this as I am a guy but then again maybe it will be from a different perspective. In the past I had been into many relationships and though as loyal as I tried to stay, I always ended up getting hurt so that also taught me a few things along the road but to be very honest you can't really predict what a person is capable of no matter how much time you have spent together. The thing that I learnt is that you just have to trust your heart and your mind because no one knows the intention(s) of the other person and also you cannot just stay put just because of the fear of getting into a bad relationship.
1 person likes this
• China
22 Aug 07
keep eyes on little tiny detail he does or does for you. never care about things he does that others can do or can see. big or obvious things he can pretend, but little tiny ones he can not because of his nature. if he is pretending, an expression of his eyes or a guesture would betray him. this need your obvious obsevation, maybe long, maybe short. it depends on how skillful he is. pretending is the same as crime---there will always be evidence no matter how he hide them. keep alert on details.
@nangel78 (1459)
• United States
22 Aug 07
This had to be hard for your friend. I am sorry to hear this. In today's society, it is hard to trust people. You never know what people are thinking or why they do what they do. My best advice is if red flags go up about the person, then there has got to be a good reason for it. Sometimes we try to look past that and believe the best in the person when it turns out to just blow up in our faces in the end. Then we are like well shoot we should have gone with our instincts.
@lantisb3 (114)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
well i guess there isn't any real assurance of anything in this world when it comes to sincerity because most people can hide their real face behind a thick mask of sincerity.Falling in love is a risk that you will have to take if you really want to be happy.but just in case put the guy into some situations and see how he reacts then you can judge for yourself if he is a phoney.^^
@no_chao (550)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
if you defenitely in love with that perso, for sure.... you will never see his real intension....but of course you have friends right!!?? they are the one who can tell you about what's in the guy that you cant see..... we should know that once we are in-love positive things from that person are the only thing that we can see trough them.... so its the right time to ask your trusted friends.... ^_^