how much say do you have in who your kids are friends with?

Fun In The Sun - silhouette of children playing.
@Malyck (3428)
Australia
August 20, 2007 11:45pm CST
do you tell your children that they can't be friends with some people. what are some of your reasons for this? how much impact do you have over your child's friendships? do you let your kids make their own decisions regarding their friends?
4 responses
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
21 Aug 07
my son is just comming up for 9 and he chooses his own friends, i have no right to try and choose them for him, it's not something that my parents did to me, so it's not something i will do to my son. on occasion he will start hanging around with children that i may not like, but that does not mean that he can't like them either.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
21 Aug 07
I think that's a great approach to parenting your son. I hope he grows up to be a great young man with a lot of love for his mum!
• United States
21 Aug 07
My boys are 3 and 5 and I do say who they can play with. Right now I can infulence them and help them make good choices when it comes to people. Some kids are just mean and I dont like them to play with my kids. My boys just need to be boys and not worry about things. I want them to have nice friends who treat them well. This teaches my boys to be nice and respect other people.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
21 Aug 07
I agree, when you have young kids, it's important to set the basis of what a good friend is and get their values and morals sorted out, shaping them into the lovely young lads of the future. Thanks for responding =]
1 person likes this
@bucketkid (239)
• Australia
21 Aug 07
When I was a teenager, my mum didn't approve of my best friend just because she had some facial piercings. She banned me from spending time with her outside of school, and would get my brother to monitor us even at school to make sure we weren't together. I was so angered by this, as she was an awesome, intelligent, opinionated girl who certainly wasn't a bad influence. In the end I just told my mum she could take me or leave me, no matter who I was friends with, and that she had no right to judge. They now get along quite well =] I don't have children of my own, but when I do I will make sure to let them make their own decisions, although they may have some friends I wouldn't want them to have sleepovers with just because of their behaviour.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
21 Aug 07
I agree, I haven't got children of my own, but I look after my boyfriend's siblings sometimes. I know I especially don't have the right to tell them who they can and can't be friends with because I'm sort of 'and outsider', but I do give them advice if their friends treat them poorly. I think that's really all we can do, not crazy things like what you described your mother doing, what was she thinking?! Thanks for your input =]
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
21 Aug 07
Although I don't have kids, when we had foster kids I was very careful who they were friends with. I always made sure to meet their friends and know who their family was. AT PEACE WITHIN