Why do women find men with "pretty boy" features attractive?

@joshua_w (501)
Malaysia
August 21, 2007 3:39am CST
Why do many women find men with "pretty faces" attractive? Pretty face in the sense that they have delicate, "feminine-like" features like fair complexion, wide innocent -looking eyes, finely shaped eyebrows, full and sometimes pouty lips. I'm going to name some celebrities from the West. If you're from the 80's, an example would be members of Duran Duran (when they were young, that is!). Today, they would be Orlando Bloom, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire or Jude Law perhaps as opposed to more rugged or masculine-looking men like, say Viggo Mortensen or Daniel Craig or Sean Connery. Maybe women like them because these men bring out women's natural maternity instinct. They can play "mother" to them because they're oh-so-cute? Just read an article from a recent research (done in the UK) before posting here that says "women see 'masculine' men as unsuitable long-term partners" and that "men with feminine features are seen as more committed and less likely to cheat on their partners"-meaning they're more faithful. Could that be it; pretty boys just make a much better partner. What can you say about Jude Law (if you read gossip news that is, which i don't, haha) and his numerous partners then? As for me, well i really don't have any ideas why. Maybe they're good to look at, for a start? But then again, I much prefer looking at pretty girls. Care to share your views here.
1 person likes this
17 responses
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
21 Aug 07
I believe that women find these types of men attractive because it symbolizes (to them) a sensitivity in men that is hard to come by. When a man exhibits these so-called feminine features, women tend to hope that they are sensitive, and have more "feminine" qualities. I think women hope that men like this will understand them better. Also, I think older women admire these men because their "beauty" reminds them of youth. Men with features like these are also out of the stereo-typical spotlight. Most male figures of admiration have the rugged features you mentioned. I think some women prefer their men to be "soft" in a manly sort of way. Women are crazy, aren't we?
2 people like this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Very thoughtful, your views here. I think all women wish their partner to better understand them as a person. Don't we all wish that someone would really understand us? As for older women preferring younger men because they remind them of youth, that is a good argument too. Would like to add that older women likes to be seen in the company of younger, "pretty" men because that would also mean that they (the older women) could be as attractive as a younger woman. Soft in a manly sort of way?-that is quite hard to fathom. A big, strong man who is soft when he's around children? Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in "Kindergarten Cop" comes to mind, if you'd seen that movie. Women sure are crazy but men are even crazier to think that they understand them. Men just don't understand women.
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I hear you... women don't even understand women, let me tell you. I did see Kindergarten Cop, and yes, that's the type of guy I was talking about, except for the looks. (Arnold definitely does not have any feminine like qualities!) But the personality is a good example of "soft in a manly sort of way". Thanks for your reply. Somehow we might bring men closer to understanding women, but I doubt it. Women have no idea what they want... and when they get who they THINK they want, they spend all their time trying to change the guy... then they say "You're not the man I married!" LOL, women are strange. It must be a hormone thing. :)
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 07
Haha, you said it so well there. Trying to change a guy is like waiting for the cows to climb the trees. But guys do try to change for the girls they loved, really. It's just that it is difficult for us to change our old habits. You are very funny and witty. Thanks for sharing again, Ivy.
• Switzerland
21 Aug 07
Well, I think it still depends from one woman to another. However, I think the research had a strong point about the feminine-like features of men bringing out the maternal instinct of women. I think I have heard in the past that it depends on the menstrual cycle of the woman - if she's on she tends to find pretty boys attractive and if she's not, she tends to find more masculine-looking guys attractive. And yeah, they sure grab a girl's attention.
2 people like this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
You're saying hormones play a part in determining the types of men women find attractive? That's new to me. Cute babies do bring out the maternal nature of a woman so it applies to "cute" men too, maybe? Thanks for your views, soulsister.
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
21 Aug 07
I think that every woman has her own taste in judging a man she likes as her lifelong partner. It is the same with humans, some of whom are tall while some of whom are short. What do you think about it, jushua_w?
2 people like this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Agree with you that every woman has her own taste in the type of man they like. The opposite applies too right? Thanks for your thoughts.
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
21 Aug 07
Hi Joshua, I can't tell of others but as for me i am kind of a blend of both. I like both variety of men attractive and adorable. Jude Law, Orlando bloom...have a certain appeal which is quite different from Stallone, Van damme, Sean connery...I like both the types. However, a perfect blend, like Tom cruise.., is more adorable. Joshua, it's very difficult say what works for one and what doesn't. I have friends who had fancied masculine hunks all through their adolescence but ended up marrying a sweet choc'late boy next door and vice versa!! So, Love is a enigmatic - you never know whom you will fall for. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 07
So your opinion is that Tom Cruise is the perfect blend of masculinity and feminity. I guess you're right in one thing; different women have different perception of men. When i was in school, my girl classmates all prefer pretty-looking guys (with or without lipsticks) because (in their words) they're beautiful and so good to look at. Well, i can't disagree with them (Boy George is beautiful then but he looks very different now) . But that was the 80's and it was a strange period of time where the only good things coming from that is the music. Sorry, i have digressed. It's also 'strange' to notice that many women married the opposite of their preference when they're young. Could you tell me why is that? Thanks for your views.
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
21 Aug 07
Well, i don't know. may be, its more about the inner beauty than the outer. A beautiful within matters most and surpasses the outer look in the long courtship. I have always found that long term relationship have always been successful when both are attracted more by the inner attributes than otherwise. For dating or one night stands outer beauty really matters but its not only about physicality in marriage and long term living. Hope i made my view clear. Thanks. PS: A combination of both would be great though but only a lucky few can get it.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 07
Hey, i share your views on this completely. For a long term relationship to work, there has to be more than looks as those would fade away in time. You need to find a person's inner beauty, so to say. Everyone has at least one thing inside that would appeal to another person, i guess. Looks are only important as far as the eyes can see and our vision does gets blurry when we grow old. If we only cared about looks then, "hey, what happen to you? You don't look good to me anymore". And your other half would reply, "Ha, you think you're so hot now with that bread face of yours." Yes, agree that a person who has both looks and a heart of gold is someone who's truly blessed. Thanks again for stating your views. And look how far we have digressed from the original topic.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I read the same study some time ago Joshua. A few of my other internet buddies had a more pessimistic (possibly nihilistic) reasoning to why women go for the pretty boys. Yes, it is because of the quest for the sensitive man, but this is only to have a stable provider, father figure, ability to relate to the feminine condition and yes less likely to cheat. On the side, women still want the bolder, masculine male as a protector and more importantly potent lover (there is also a genetic benefit to offspring with such a mate); the women are also willing to cheat in order to have the best of both worlds. After further research, reading, stories, notes, etc, I found out this was an alpha male (genetic) vs beta male (societal) condition, it was most intriguing. I don't think this is the ultimate say all about the situation, but I do find myself being a bit more cautious.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Interesting views you had there. I have a question for you. Are you suggesting that the more masculine male is more potent (or fertile, you mean)? Don't think there's any evidence to support that yet. Aha, you said masculine male has better offspring due to better genetics but don't think women would deliberately choose to marry one just to have say, more intelligent babies? If not for money, they most probably married for love. I'd heard of alpha male (masculine type of male) but never of beta male. Your last sentence i don't quite get. What do you mean by being more cautious?
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
22 Aug 07
The first question, I was saying it more toward genetic seeking which does indeed happen, you even verify it in a different possibility using your second statement. For the third, I find myself cautious in relationships due to the cheating situation, which I thought I had mentioned. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely willing to try, but it would be foolish to turn a blind eye to possibilities like this, thats my honest opinion.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 07
Genetic seeking as you've said does happen but rarely i think. Even though may disagree with you on certain views but i do respect yours and everyone's opinion here. Just a question: from your comment, i presume you are a woman though your profile states otherwise?
@Galena (9123)
21 Aug 07
trust me, it's not about cute. prettyboys are extremely sensual, sensitive and sexy. I think they're fantastic. and in make up, just heavenly.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
So, they are better lovers you mean? And pretty boys in makeup turns you on. No wonder the girls in my class loved those pretty looking men who wears makeup in those 80's musical groups like Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and Wham. Now i know.
@Galena (9123)
22 Aug 07
I don't have great experience to compare the prowess of prettyboys vs macho men. but I just find prettyboys much more attractive. they look soft and touchable. and make up is great, because with men, as with women, it can be used to enhance beautiful features.
1 person likes this
@DJules (55)
• United States
22 Aug 07
Well, I rather fancy Orlando Bloom, but that has more to do with the fact that I think he's a talented actor. Personality, talent, and a sense of humor are far more appealling to me than a pretty face, or a rugged one for that matter. Let's just say I was never a big fan of Fabio, whose entire reason for exsisting seemed to be his good looks. The person I've committed to sharing my life with isn't a pretty boy, but he is my best friend, and that's more important than anything!
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Hi Jules. Who's Fabio? If your husband is also your best friend then he's a lucky person. Thanks for writing.
• Canada
22 Aug 07
Well I'm a guy, so obviously I can't speak for women at all. However, when I ready your post, a few thoughts came to mind. 1) In ancient times, a large and masculine man was considered attractive, as he was most likely a better provider and protector. However, in Rome a high forehead, aquiline nose, and fine features were considered 'well-bred' and generally more intelligent, indicative of a higher social standing. Rome conquered nearly the entire known Western world at that time, and imposed it's cultural values on all it's subject states. 2) Traditionally, the round and curvacious body type was considered "ideal" for women, as it symbolized the woman's ability to bear children. It wasn't until the 1930's that the media started showcasing the anorexic body-type common on-screen today. 3) In both cases, the natural definitions of beauty were overridden and replaced by those who had something to gain from it. Nowadays, the majority of the population accepts what they see on television as their standard of beauty, and then spend billions of dollars annually trying to live up to that standard. Things to think about... :-) From personal experience, I can tell you that the single-most attractive quality any man can have, that is guaranteed to attract more women, is self-confidence. If you have a strong and innate sense of self, and are not afraid to laugh at your own faults, and spend more time learning about your date than talking about yourself, women will find you attractive whether you're Jude Law or Cro-Magnon Man. That, or a large bank account. :-) ~David
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Haha, very witty thoughts you had there. I like your "Cro-Magnon man" part. What you wrote reflects the way of the world now. Self-confidence or bank account. Or better yet, both. Add in a sense of humour and you've got a winner. Guess you're righ to say the standard for women these days are the slim body-type. Turn on the tv and it's espoused from America to Zimbabwe. How the west really influence the rest of the world. Thanks for the laugh, David.
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
i dunno about "pretty boys" but a lot girls in the company i work for goes out with scums. these scums are rude, pock mark face, long hair, has no job, low intelligence (all they talk about is "last nights party), drunk 24/7, smokes like a chimney, have no money, shouts and scolds their wifes in public, beat their wife and kids, and wow..they think their husband is hot. a few actually dates the likes too!
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
I'd seen some very hot and attractive girls and then walking next to them is a guy who looks like he'd just fell into a drain. They're so completely mismatched like the chinese saying "like a fresh flower laid on a piece of cow-dung" or something like that. Why do women go out with them? Maybe there is one good qualities in them that we could not see? Men just don't understand women. But if a man hits his wife, i don't think there is anything good about him, not even if he has that "one" good quality. I'd read that some women who was abused as a child would very likely fall back into the same abusive pattern when they look for a partner. They become so familiar with these types of relationship as it's entrench in their psyche and do not know how to get out of that situation. That is so sad really.
• United States
22 Aug 07
I don't know about all that I've dated both but the man I fell in love with is far from being a pretty boy.He weighs about 240lbs and has red hair and the whitest skin you can imagine.
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Well, as long as you're happy who cares what he looks like (besides you that is), right. Thanks for offering your story here.
@Daelin (683)
• Brazil
22 Aug 07
I was about to say that I don't like men with this feature, but I saw you listed Jude Law and I am in love with him :D He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Then I checked the second place in my list and Keanu is there, and I think he has pretty boy features as well. I never thought of them like having feminine features though. They are just beautiful.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Ya, Jude Law is very beautiful. And Keanu is even prettier. Damn, i really like Keanu in "The Matrix" and "Speed". He's very attractive to watch, even for guys! Thanks for sharing ya, Daelin.
@friendship (2085)
• Canada
21 Aug 07
No, I DON't ALWAYS find men with "pretty boy" features attractive. It will also depend on their attitudes. If he has "pretty boy" features but his attitude is selfish, girlish or arrogant, for instance, I don't feel attractive at all.
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
It comes down to the personality and attitudes of the guy right? If he doesn't treat you well and respect you as a person, then no matter how cute or pretty he is, you still won't be with him. But my question, before you knew all this about him (his personality), won't you first be attracted to him merely by his looks?
@AmbiePam (49053)
• United States
21 Aug 07
Are you kidding me? I cannot stand pretty boys. I like rugged men, who know how to work hard, and know how to be respectful. I don't want to be with someone I can probably beat up. LOL
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
It seems many of the views expressed here prefers the traditional types of men. I guess most men do not like to be beaten up by anyone especially a woman that is. Thanks for your amusing comment.
@CaitBaby (447)
• United States
21 Aug 07
Hi Joshua! Well, for me, Leonardo DiCaprio is one of my celebrity crushes, but that's really the only "pretty boy" that I am into. Well, I like Johnny Depp, too. I guess he could be considered a pretty boy. For both of them though, I find them most attractive when they have facial hair. Otherwise they're just too sissy-looking. Normally I prefer the more rugged type. I understand what you mean by pretty boys are more faithful. I don't really know why but I feel that way too. But for me, I just think that the more masculine guys would be more able to take care of his girl. Do you get what I'm saying?
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
I like watching movies of Johnny Depp, Keanu Reeves and Mel Gibson. They have very beautiful and expressive eyes. Johnny Depp does look good in those "Pirates" movies but you should watch his earlier ones like "What's eating Gilbert Grape" (this one has a very young Leonardo in it too) and "Edward Scissorhands". He can really act. It's the studies i read that says pretty boys are more faithful and not me. And the studies only take into account women in the UK. Don't really believe in that statement personally; it's just a small percentage of women's view in one country. But there's a truth that a more masculine guy is better able to take care of his girl. You would not want a guy who run for cover behind you when a threatening situation comes up, would you? The question is, if you could only choose one, what would it be: a faithful companion or someone who could take care and protect you?
• India
21 Aug 07
I think you have said it all! You seem to have a 'pretty face'. Best of luck! LOL!
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Hi, actually i do not have a pretty face but people say i'm boyish looking. And i really do not like effeminate guys very much. But i have to say they're good to look at though.
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
Outlook presentation of a person tell a story. By standing near a guy and looking at his personal appearance, I can at least tell whether he has taken a shower, combed his hair, brushed his teeth or ironed his clothes. All these grooming thing needs effort and only those who care about these little things will do it. So in general I will be able to make a conclusion from his appearance what type of attitude he holds. Being neat and tidy, and pretty looking needs effort and care. If he is caring enough to look neat and tidy, it is hoped that he has the care to treat his spouse the way he treats himself. That is the reason behind all this, I think.
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
A very valid arguments you had there. A person who takes detailed care of his own would do the same to his partner regardless whether he's pretty or masculine. Understood. Thanks for your thoughts. Hey i noticed you're from Malaysia too.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
22 Aug 07
hmm.. I think women like them because by first look they seem so soft or sensitive. It is generally said that men have less sensitiviness than women. May be as the face is the mirror of the person, traditionally women find delicate look to be more dependable. But there are variations too.
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
I noticed some says that masculine-type men are more dependable and others the opposite. Each has their own valid reasons. Thanks for replying.