Did you find it hard to fit into your husbands family? Did they accept you?

@Nardz13 (5059)
New Zealand
August 24, 2007 2:15am CST
I have never gone out of my way to impress anyone, let alone my husbands family... They met me as I am, I didnt have to put on, act like something I wasnt or go as far as impressing them to accept me... Just being myself was all I had to do, and all I would have done anyway... What about you? Were you accepted by your inlaws, your husbands family? did you have to put on an act or impress them? If so, did he stick by you? Share your views be great to hear different ones... Thanks to all...
5 people like this
12 responses
@horsesrule (1962)
• United States
24 Aug 07
My ex-husbands family did not like me. At first they did but then once we got more closely involved and then moved in together, they didn't like me. They tried their best to cause problems between me and my ex-husband and then later between me and my baby daughter. Because I was shy, they kept saying that I was snooty and thought that I was better than them. When in reality I did not know what to say to them. Anyway, that didn't work out the first time but ten years later though, I did re-marry my ex-husband. I didn't have hardly anything to do with his family then because I wasn't interested at all.
2 people like this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Im glad things are working out now... Good for you... Thanks for your comment... Have a good one...
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
24 Aug 07
hi there! ahm..I do agree with you. Nothing to impress them. I am not married but if ever????..Not intentionally. What i mean is, I will just show who really i am. And what i am. So it is up to them if they will impress with my personality, family background and education and etc..IF ever they don't. It is a little depression on myself too. But hey! you have nothing to do about it. You and your husband are the one who living together. As long as you know to yourself that you have been a good wife, a good mother and a good daughter inlaws. And you don't hurt anyone! so go on with your life! They can't stop your world. ANd if your husband really love's you. He will stick on you thru thick and thin.:-0
2 people like this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Exactly, I agree with you... Thanks for responding...
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Actually, I don't care for any of Hubbys family and the feeling is pretty much mutual. We moved up by his mom when his stepdad passed away and when my brother and his g/f came to visit, Hubby's mother suggest me and my brother leave and let his g/f stay with my Hubby!! Hubby about freaked out and I just about clobbered her. Now we live near my family and my Mom gets along better with Hubby since we got married. Their not bosom buddies but they are nice to each other. AT PEACE WITHIN
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 07
My inlaws are both deceased, but we got along great and I took care of both of them in the latter part of their lives. I did not do anything to impress them or to make myself into something I am not to gain their trust or to fit in. In fact, all my inlaws family still calls on me in times of crisis, and I am always here to help them if I can. I just feel that if you are not accepted in the family for who you are, maybe it is just not worth it to try to be different. If they don't like the way I am then that is their problem, I may not like them either. This is just the way that I feel!
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Awsome response, had I read your reply earlier, and there were to best response, you definetly would have got one of them... Nevermind, a positive rating is just as good too... Thanks for responding... Have a great day...
@cwilson26 (2737)
• United States
24 Aug 07
My in-law's loved me right away. Of course I knew them before I even knew my husband because I was friends with his brothers and used to party with his whole family. My husband was in prison at the time and I didn't even know he existed until I finally met him back in 1998 when he got out of prison. We hooked up two days after we met and have been together since then. It has been 9 years, 6 years of living together and 3 years of marriage. :)
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Wow, awsome and good for you... All the best in the years to come... Thanks for responding...
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
24 Aug 07
My in-laws accepted me. We came from the same background, our families had both come from Europe, my father was German and my husbands's family were German Dutch Mennonite, so we had the German in common and their grandparents had been farmers, although my grandfather was an old established farmer in Moldavia, only they called it something else then. I did not have to impress them, in fact, I was myself and they like me. The only thing I did not care for was they always wanted to watch the Weather Channel as I am the kind who believes if you stick a stone outside the window and it is damp, it is raining.
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Im a little late on getting back with the response, but thanks for you comment and have a great day...
• Canada
24 Aug 07
No I didn't do anything other then be myself either when I met my husband's family . I was only a child at the time as well as my husband as we were high school sweethearts and my first meeting of my husband's mother was when she found out I was pregant . She accepted me into the family right away and I had no problems with my husband's father either but with his brother and sister it was different . His sister and I knew each other from school and she had heard I was seeing someone else as there was a guy who was interested in both her and I . I didn't care for this guy but she didn't know this and thought I was cheating on her brother so it took some time to get to know each other before either of us accepted the other . His brother was harder because his brother's wife didn't care for me so it took longer but over the years we have all got to know each other and no one put on airs for each other and I do feel that I fit in . I care about each and everyone of them and believe they feel the same about me .
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Good for you, I think being yourself was the best way possible... Thanks for your response...
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
24 Aug 07
I guess I've been accepted. It's different from my family, where they treat my husband as if he is a member of the family, and he is welcome (and expected) even if I'm not there, whereas in his family, if my husband can't attend something, they don't bother asking if I can come. Although it's not really meant to be leaving me out, they just assume. It's just that I could wish his family was a bit more relaxed about things.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Thanks for your response, like yours, my family is also warm and accepting, no matter what...
24 Aug 07
well. i think that is the most common problem in every family. being yourself is not a good way. sometimes you should act smark because that is your husband's family, which is also your family as well. it is better for you to keep your family relationship warmer than make it worse. there is one saying that it is better to have one more friend than to have one more enemy.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. No offense, but I disagree, being yourself is the best way to be, then you wouldnt have to keep acting smart, you would be accepted for who you are and on any level smart or not, you will soon tire of this, and the family will eventually find out it was an acting the whole time... Realism and genuinety is the key, in my opinion... Have a great day, Coolandbold...
• United States
24 Aug 07
I get along great with my in-laws. They went to school with my parents so I have know them forever. When we do holidays we have my father & stepmother, my in-laws and my sisters in-laws all together.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 07
Hi there. Great stuff, thanks for your comment...
@jHoEn16 (2043)
• Australia
2 Sep 07
just like you, ive never try act just to impress my husbands family... im just being me... they havent see me yet in person but they accept me as i am and support me to the best that they can... maybe i was just so lucky to have a family like them...
• United States
2 Sep 07
i fit in with my husband's family, but i had an advantage. i new his cousin and his father before i met him. that made it easier for me. now there are a few that i dont get along with but thankfully we dont go around them that much.