Did this Kindergarten teacher do the right thing?

@Foxxee (3653)
United States
August 25, 2007 1:48am CST
My daughter came home from Kindergarten today and told me that her whole class got a treat today, but that she did not. I asked my daughter why she didn't get a treat and she told me that her teacher only gave the kids a treat that stayed in the lines with their school work. My daughter then showed me her paper that she supposedly did bad on and I noticed nothing wrong with it and I thought she did an excellent job. There was one little area where she had gotten out of the lines, but that was all. I was a little confused and pissed off at the same time. I don't understand why a teacher would leave a student out just because of a small little mistake! My daughter is the youngest in her class and she just turned 5 in July! This is her first year in Kindergarten. I called my mom upset because I needed to vent because I felt like calling the teacher and going off, but then, I just decided to call my mom before I made any decisions to call the teacher. My mom also feels that if this is the reason why my daughter was left out, that it is a little ridiculous on the teachers half. How is this right for the rest of the class to eat a treat in front of my daughter just because she got out of the lines? Does anyone else see where this is upsetting? Or am I just over reacting? Also keep in mind, this is the first week of Kindergarten. I also ended up emailing the teacher and asking why she thought this was okay. I wasn't rude in the email, I just felt like she should explain her teaching skills a little to me because I find what she did, a little off. Any views to this are now open… please help me understand.
11 people like this
35 responses
@freak369 (4988)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Personally, I think that is WAY too young an age to put that kind of pressure on a kid. Either everyone gets a treat or no one gets a treat - that doesn't mean that if one child doesn't do well that everyone suffers but if she is going to hand out treats it should be for good behavior or something that they whole call was in on like picking up toys.
6 people like this
• Canada
25 Aug 07
Hi I would feel the same way, my daughter starts kindergarten in September. These kids are still little and I do not feel it is right to single her out like that. The whole idea of kindergarten is to teach kids that school can be a fun and great place to be. The teacher may not realize she is teaching the kids that it is ok to single kids out and make others feel bad. I think teachers should rewar the effort and not perfection. Again these kids are just starting to learn this stuff and some kids have a tougher time than others. I hope your daughter was not to upset.
• United States
25 Aug 07
thats rather messed up! i cant imagine that only ONE kid went outside the lines!! and in kindergarten staying inside the lines is a chance thing as it is lol! she certainly should have been given a treat just like all the other kids! to single a 5yr old out like that must have been hurtful and confusing for her! and just plain wrong for the teacher to do. she should have given everybody the treat and when she gave your daughter the treat..she should have sat down and reminded her about trying her hardest to stay in the lines and that it just takes practice and she will get better the more she practices!! you know, my 12yr old comes home from school sometimes swearing up and down that her teacher say a word is spelled THIS way..when i know for a fact and have the dictionary to prove it, that the teacher is wrong! math class last year couldnt get the right answer on something and my kid DID, and when she was asked to show the class on the board..the teacher said she was WRONG yet the teacher herself could NOT show the work to get the answer that the book said was right!! and yet she still insisted that my daughter was not doing it right?!! i couldnt believe it! pissed me off something fierce..she was the only one in the class who got the right answer and the teacher just wouldnt admit that SHE was wrong! aagh! just thinking about that pisses me off again! LOL
4 people like this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Well, this is why I slam public schools almost all the time. Seems the quality gets worse and worse and our schools are being terrible to the ones that try while kids/students who totally fail get all the attention and free passes.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Oh that makes me mad too.When anyone mistreats a child it makes me fighting mad.Your daughter is in kindergarden not the military.I would call that teacher and tell her not to ever do that agin,not only was it wrong but it embarrassed your daughter in front of the other children.In fact maybe you should have a talk with the principle....You are not wrong,the teacher was way out of line.....My grandbaby was 5 also and my daughter forgot to give him 10 cents one day to get popcorn,all the children had popcorn except my grandson,he went and found a bag on the play ground and filled it with rocks because he would have a sack too,when i heard this i wanted to go kill that teacher,not literly but boy was i mad....If i would have been the teacher i would have bought his popcorn for 10 cents,my daughter would have gave her the 10 cents back..It also made his other grandmother mad too..Yes this is veru upsetting to me.I feel that the teacher used your little daughter as an example to the other kids..Don't let this go Foxee,go talk to the principle,if this teacher did it once ,she might just do it again.Five year olds are very sensitive and their little ego's can get shattered easily.Good luck..
25 Aug 07
Oh, dear! foxee you should have been straight at that teachers door, if not that day then promptly the next. So be prepared this is the child she will pick out in a crowd on a bad day, this is the child you can pick on kids, because she has basically discriminated her in this way infront of them. This is the child they don't have to respect for what she is capable of doing, but singled out for what she couldn't perfectly do with 5 years of age. This is the child that one allows to be bullied because the teacher does the same. Clear it now and straight away or your daughter will have to put up with it not only for the day, no for the rest of the year if your not carefull and show you stand 100% behind her. Be clever and take care of this now.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I find this very disturbing. I would not go off the deep end yet. I would call the teacher and ask about what your daughter told you. If that was the reason, I would then get very mad, that is demeaning. I would guess that there was more to it, but I would not just take it, I would find out. That way you can explain to your daughter, what she did wrong, and why she did not get a treat, and how things should have went. If it was for that reason, I would contact the Principal and ask them to talk to the teacher with you. Do it tactfully, not yelling and screaming. Good luck with what you decide to do. Do check into it, you don't want your daughter to feel like the teacher is out to get her. She might not excel, it may set her back.
3 people like this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
25 Aug 07
You are right. I'm glad that I calmed down and thought things out before I called the teacher, because at the moment, I was steamed and I would of probably said something that I might of regreted later. I didn't have the teachers home phone, but I did get her email from the school and I did email her a letter. I was nice in it. I just told her what my daughter told me and asked if it was true or not and to also explain the situation to me. Once I hear back. I will go from there.
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
25 Aug 07
That was definitely wrong in my opinion!!! First of all, it is Kindergarden for goodness sakes! Nothing like squashing their little spirits early on. What about the message that one has to be perfect? Not a good one in my opininon (especially at that age!). What happened to a treat for trying one's best? I would definitely go and sit down with this teacher and have a heart-to-heart.
3 people like this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Exactly. Come Monday I plan on talking with the teacher about everything. It's really upsetting. You know, when your child hurts, you hurt.
2 people like this
@candy111 (241)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
I think first of all, you need to ask the teacher exactly what the treat was for, and why your kid didn't get one. I'm not so sure that your kid, at that age can precisely tell you what happened. There might have been another incident during class which precipitated this. If it was indeed the writing skill, and on the first week, I understand why you would be ranting and raving, i would be as well. I am a teacher, and I believe at that age, these kids need encouragement, teach them how to enjoy learning, and teach them basic manners. ridiculing a kid at that age by not giving her a treat in front of the whole class, is just not right, especially if they actually were given time to eat the treat during class. I suggest you clarify the incident with the teacher. I would suggest as soon as possible because i dont think you would want a repeat. After you have clarified this issue, if it turns out your kid was also at fault, you need to take the time out to explain to your kid what happened and tell her why she was wrong, yet reassure her that if she acts properly she will definitely get a treat. Hope this makes sense.
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
25 Aug 07
If i had been you i would not have been calling my mother I know I would have clled the teacher or better yet she would have had a visit from me in person.it is the beginning of the school year and the teacher should only be just finding out what the children are capable of doing at this point.To single out 1 child is not right. I think you should get a handle on how your daughter is to be treated by this lady right away before the school years gets any farther.
3 people like this
@jetlady (338)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
I wonder how the teacher responded to your email. What she did was like capital punishment for an offense as simple as jaywalking.She's mean, no doubt about it. She certainly need some good spanking.
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
27 Aug 07
As a teacher, I don't think that the kindergarten teacher is supposed to do so. You know, she is the youngest and even if she is not the youngest one, she should still praise the little girl for her performance to make her do a better job the next time rather than some punishment to her. What do you think? Because children need to be encouraged to have them make greater progress.
• China
31 Aug 07
Thanks for the BR, dear friend. I appreciate it very much. Happy posting, dear friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 07
You are not overreacting. I would question this as well. Putting that kind of stress on a child so young is ridiculous. That is way too much for a child that age. You are a better person than I am cause I would have went off big time.
2 people like this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I might still go off. Come Monday morning I'm going to have a talk with the teacher face to face. If this is how she runs her class, then I don't want my daughter in her class. It doesn't seem right. I have worked with children since I was 17. I have been in the school programs and have never used this method and have been told that what she has done, is a no, no in teaching. But things might be different here. But I will find out.
• India
13 Sep 07
New to kindergarten or old, no child deserves such discrimination specially on treats. Similar to what my kid faced the other day at school. They were supposed to submit drawings on sheets and the teacher just took those which she liked and others were returned after just a cursory glance. My son was in the second category and he came home crying. I mean this is not how you behave with kids. If you don’t like something, call the kid, go over it together and try to teach the correct way. Otherwise if you don’t have the patience, have the decency at least to accept the page and chuck it off later. But do whatever you will, do not humiliate the child in front of the class on such silly pretexts.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Aug 07
i think that teacher needs to be reprimanded or fired that was so stupid i cant believe it as the world of education gone crazy or is it just me i would speak to someone in charge make what happened to your daughter be known and have the teacher be held responsible for what she has done if her peers found out it would make the teacher a lot better about what she or he did frankly i think its stupid
2 people like this
@rowantree (1190)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Hopefully your daughter misunderstood the situation and her teacher has emailed you by now and explained it? If the story is as your daughter told it to you, then the teacher needs another job. Good luck & I hope your daughter's experience in kindergarten gets much better.
2 people like this
@IcyCucky (361)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I don't think you are out of line at all. I would have the same feelings, and frustration, and I would have gone in to talk to the teacher personally. That is not an attitude a teacher should have. If you don't nip this in the butt, it will continue. The same thing happenned to my son last year. I came into the classroom and talked to the teacher very politely and nicely. I just want her to know that I am here for my son, and I am keeping an eye on him... so don't mistreat him. If she can't explain her reason well. Take it up to the principal.
2 people like this
@selina0625 (1383)
• Philippines
15 Sep 07
That's really wrong. It's a bit traumatic for a child that age to undergo such pressure like that. She's just a kid! I guess that teacher shouldn't be allowed to teach children at young age at that because clearly she doen't know child psychology!
@vidyasma (91)
• India
13 Sep 07
As a mother of two children even i feel what the teacher did was very wrong u can very bodly ask the teacher for an explanation. i would like to know from where u are. iam from India. Forget the teacher and student relationship as a human being the little one should not be left like that. even stangers when they eat if a kids comes there they are offered to eat with them. So i strongly feel that it is very rude on the teachers part to leave your child alone with out giving treat.I feel sorry for that.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 07
That teacher has definitely gone too far. Not giving a child a treat, while the other children get treats is definitely not the way to teach children a lesson. Nor is it right to punish children for not being as far as other children in their development. Not every child develops the same way as other children do, so that is definitely not the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
@Lonelyme (43)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Your daughter is 5 what the heck did that teacher expect? I think I would be upset too and do more then you did. I would have called that teacher out and made her explain why and show me all the rest of the children's pages too. It was something to be upset about. I don't have children but if I did this would make me mad at her too. Hope you get an answer to your email to her. But I wouldn't expect any respect from this person she sounds like she has her bottom up too high to me to stop and think how this might effect your child. You got to consider that the child is only five after all.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
25 Aug 07
An in person chat is needed. I think this maybe the start of a teacher vendetta. Yes they do happen, especially to anyone who doesn't fit the teacher's fragile stereotypes/views on life. And I'd feel insulted, I sincerely doubt that your daughter was the only one outside of the lines (the chances of that are pretty low). One thing you can also do, report to the principal or to the board if you can. I'd save that if your meeting becomes unproductive and/or the teacher shows more negative bias toward your child. By the way, I think you can do a better job of teaching kindergarten to your kid than that quack of a teacher (probably is a real life Dr. Nick or Ms. Krabapple off the simpsons or something). If all else fails, there is the option transferring. Just throwing it out there, and hopefully it is a feasible option if the teacher and school district are totally lame to you and your child. Um, good luck, keep your head up and help your daughter keep hers up. She's doing just fine, make sure you reinforce that. Hope and good blessings to you and your family! ~-~ Pro.
1 person likes this