Have You Ever Hated Someone So Much That You Needed To Hurt Them?
By Nykkee
@Nykkee (2522)
Canada
August 25, 2007 6:44am CST
So have you ever hated someone that much? I have, or I guess I should say, I do. My wedding night, the most important night of my life, the night I have to remember for the rest of my life, was completely ruined by one of my husband's friends. I will never get over it, it can never be made up for or fixed and I don't think I will be able to stop thinking about it dail until I have made sure that I have hurt this person as much as they hurt me, and frankly, I don't know what to do to hurt him that bad expect maybe shoot off one of his legs, because he has no sole so I can't hurt him in the same way he hurt me, he is sub-human and I highly doubt has human emotions. He is the most disgusting horrible sick excuse for something expected to pass as human that I have evr met. I have bowel movements everyday that have far more personality and redeeming characteristics that this......this thing. I honestly am hoping something horrible will happen to him so I can go laugh in his face. I feel that he intentionally set out to take the only joy left int he world for me away. When I was 15 I was raped and my virginity was taken away, all I had left was my wedding night, and now it will forever be a horrible negative memory for me. Sometimes I am afriad it will eventually ruain my marriage because I can never forgive it, and I can't forgive my husband for letting it happen, maybe if he beat the crap out of the guy and really hurt him, then I might be able to forgive my husband, but he won't do it and it makes me feel like he doesn't really love me, because I would do it for him. I really hope this guy just dies in a car acciedent or something soon. I am writing all of this here to try to get it off my chest a little bit and to try to find someone who can sympathize wuth me, because it's been over a year and I still cry about this daily, so please don't respond if you think I am horrible for feeling this way. I am not looking for a debate here, I am just looking for alittle support because I am haveing a really hard time with this and I find it all too embarrassing to talk to anyone I really know in person about it. So please, if there are any other women out there that have had similar experiences and who share my bitterness, please share your stories with me, so I don't feel so alone.
2 people like this
6 responses
@laurika (4532)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I am glad you write this article here.I am sure it helps you a little bit.Yeah I have still some people too in my mind, who I need to hurt afer so many years, the thing really happend.And I also feel the same way like you I will never forget.I have still dreams about it, even if it s not something important like story.Mine was something very different , but also very similar if I compare your feelings with mine.But I think, we just have to forget, because if we will not, we will only hurt ourselfs.
I hope you can forgive at least your husband, because I beliebe , he is the most importnat person in your life.
1 person likes this
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
26 Aug 07
ive had someone really hurt us badly,, and i wanted to do something bad to him.,, but that is just not the way we are. it takes more time and energy to hate someone, then it does to just move on. why waste our precious time here on someone that doesn't even matter.
1 person likes this
@Nykkee (2522)
• Canada
27 Aug 07
I do love my husband more than anything, and I am working on forgiving him. It helped alot recently when I got to hear him tell his friend that he was not to give out new address to the guy that ruined our wedding night, as he is not welcome at our home. For him to not allow that guy to ever come here at least shows that he understand how much that night being ruined hurt me and thow wrong his friend was and how wrong he was to allow his friend to be there.
@jungle_girl (138)
• Philippines
26 Aug 07
I've hated someone so much I wanted to hurt them. But I never do and I never will.
I know how you feel about hating someone so much you wish bad things to happen to them. But what I've learned, is keeping the hate inside hurts me more than it does the person I hate.
I was sexually harrassed at work last year. To make it worse, my boss blamed me and told me it was my fault. I wanted to shoot them all and hurt them too. I prayed about it so hard I don't remember asking God for anythign else during the past few months. Then God let me know that the best thing for me to do is forgive and let God handle it for me.
Holding the hate affects US, not THEM. I want to move on with my life, I don't want the incident to rob me of living my life to the fullest. So, I decided to do the hardest thing of all... FORGIVE.
You are not alone.
@Nykkee (2522)
• Canada
27 Aug 07
Unfortunaly I am not even remotely ready to consider forgiving, I just can't right now, and I don't know if I ever will be able to, but I have been hurt by people before and gotten my revenge and felt better. I never did anything like seriously injure someone, but for example, one time I dated this guy that really screwed with my head and then harassed me after we broke up, so I called his work and let them know about his criminal record and effectivly took his job away, froceing him to leave the city and move back with his parents. What I did wasn't even illegal but it hurt him and that satisfied me and i no longer have any negative feelings about that situation, because I don't feel like he got away with it, he hurt me and he paid for it and he would not try it again.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I have felt that way, but have come to terms with it, and have found a way to forgive. I will by no means ever forget. You have to find a way, to come to peace with yourself. Do not let this destroy you. Don't let him get the best of you. You do not want to live your life this way. Maybe some counseling would work or talking with your doctor. There is so much more to life than dwelling on the past. Turn it into a positive experience. Find a way to help others that have been in the same situation. I hope you can find a way to deal. Don't let destroy the love you have for your husband. That is just giving in and saying that the other guy has won. Work on it, please!! If you would like to talk more PM me and I'll be glad to talk with you.
1 person likes this
@Nykkee (2522)
• Canada
25 Aug 07
Thank you so much for your supportive response! I am haveing a very hard time with this because I have been through alot of BS in my life and I've reached the limit, I cannot absob anymore, my tolerance is already functioning at full cpacity, there's nothing left, I can't accept being a victim any longer and the only way I have found to deal with it within myself is through lashing out at the offender and outputting the negative emotions through acts of revenge. I have a need to feel that I have gotten back at the person, that i have made it very clear to them and any on looker that what they have done is not okay and will not be tolerated. The only way I have ever found to deter people from f-ing with me is to make sure that whatever they did end up REALLY not being worth it to them. Ever since what happened when I was 15 anytime I feel that I have been mistreated I start feeling really unsafe, it took me years to admit what had happened to me then because i was afraid if anyone knew that someone has succeeded in doing that to me that other would think they could do it to. Now I feel that way about everything, I can't let anything go or forgive because I feellike it is accepting the mistreatment and approveing further abuse.
@abbamoney (66)
• Vietnam
26 Aug 07
sorry to hear your story. i'm not a smooth talker so i can't say anything to suave you. personally, i don't hate anyone that much. i do love and hate people though, but i don't want to hurt them, uhm, as long as they don't hurt me badly.
1 person likes this
@bluecactusblossom (36)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Well, I'm not sure that I'd personally go as far as to say that I agree this person should die...but I don't know what happened. I can see though that whatever it is has you very upset and hurt and that I can totally understand.
First of all...I am so very, very sorry that you were raped when you were 15 (I'm sorry it happened at all let alone at such a young age). I'm very relieved to say that that's never happened to me, but I'll admit that it is one of my biggest fears in the world. (I've actually had nightmares about it and I wake up literally bawling my eyes out.) So, if your situation on your wedding night had anything at all to do with what happened to you (I don't know how it would, but like I said...I don't know the story) then I can totally understand why you'd feel a need to make this person suffer like you have. Honestly though I believe in karma and so I believe that one day (in some way or another) whatever this guy did to hurt you it's going to come back and kick him in the butt (probably 3 fold).
I'm especially sorry that whatever it was was on you wedding night cuz that really does just make it all the worse. It's supposed to be a most wonderful day of your life and to have stuff happen....well, it completely changes everything. That's really sad that your husband doesn't do anything about it. I mean, does he still talk to this guy? Cuz if he does I think that's a big problem especially if it's been this long and it's still bothering you this much.
I'm in no place to judge anyone (especially someone I don't know) but from what you posted it sounds like he had to have done something terrible, and yes for that I do hope (and believe) that he'll eventually get what's coming to him.
I hope you can find comfort in time.
1 person likes this
