Do you think all marriages need romance to survive?

United States
August 25, 2007 4:32pm CST
The other day I was watching a talk show about married couples and one wife confessed that she hadn't felt romantic feelings toward her husband in years. She said that she didn't think her spouse had romantic feelings for her either. But, that they were perfectly happy, even without it. And, I was wondering how her marriage could have survived without romance. Do you think that you need romance in your marriage or relationship for it to survive? Is it possible to make a marriage last once the romance fades and only friendship is left? Or, do you think that lack of romance can destroy any friendship that exists between the two people?
11 responses
@Thewishlady (1057)
• Netherlands
26 Aug 07
Hmm well in my opinion romance is needed! I must say I am not married yet, but I have got a boyfriend for seven years... We still have got the romance, and are very happy together. I cant imagine that that romance will go away... I personaly need the romance, I love it ;)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Romance is definitely essential! I am not sure how some couples can live without it.
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I think it really depends on a number of things. There are some people that just wouldn't miss it. They don't mind just being friends and having a great relationship with their spouse in so many other ways. If there are two of these people that are married, the relationship can probably still thrive. There are other people that can no longer do all the physical romantic stuff because of various health reasons. Some of them still have a great relationship with their spouse anyway. I know a couple that have been married for close to 30 years. The wife has several mental health issues (probably why she has told me so much about her life!!) and no longer enjoys physically intimacy, and hasn't for years. She doesn't mind if her husband gets it elsewhere, as long as he is home to her every night afterward. It works for them. It probably wouldn't for most people, but it keeps them happy. He's still as in love with his wife as he was 30 years ago. He just needs something more, so he gets it and goes home to her.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 07
I'm not sure I could live like that. But, if it works for them, then that is great. I suppose neither one has a problem with it. Mostly, I would think there would be a problem if one partner objected to that lifestyle. Just wouldn't work for me, I'm the jealous type. Maybe jealousy is a sign that the passion and romance is still alive!
• Kuwait
26 Aug 07
i think that friendship is the beggining of romance so when you are not romantically attached to your spouse and you still are living happily together then you are contented to what you have together.
@manjari (38)
• India
26 Aug 07
Most of the marriages survive without romance. They are all adjustments.
@surajpkn (582)
• India
26 Aug 07
Definitely, marriages can never last without romance. If there is a marriage that has survived without romance, then you can never call it a marriage. What is the point in living like friends even after marriage? Marriage is all about understand each other and romance also plays a very important role. Romance can fade only after too many years of marriage and what remains at the end when couples are 55 or 60 years old is the friendship. But during the young ages, i dont think friendship alone survive marriage.
@candy111 (240)
• Philippines
26 Aug 07
I don't think a marriage needs romance to survive. I think its a blessing if a couple continues to have romantic feelings towards each other. but based from my experience, including my parents, there are other ways a marriage can survive, i think one is openness towards each other, being there to listen to find things to do together. kids are also a big influence. A friend of my mom recently commented that him and his wife only realized they had little in common once all the children were gone. (sadly after 40 yrs of marriage they are having a divorce). This is an opinion of mine, that sometimes a marriage loses the "romance' because the relationship now takes on a different turn, its now a commitment rather than something spontaneous. Haven't you wondered why a couple who has lived together for years, decide to finally tie the know and within two years they end up divorcing? PS: I'm single so what should i know right? :)
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
26 Aug 07
Though romance is essential part of the marriage, it is not all by itself. THere is food, shelter, clothing and man and woman should work to get that first and can have romance in between. Romance cannot be full time job.
• United States
25 Aug 07
I think it totally depends on the couple. If both partners do not particularly miss the romantic aspect of being married, then there is no problem. The problem arises when one partner misses it very much, the other doesn't miss it at all, and isn't willing to compromise. In a situation such as this, problems are bound to arise.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
25 Aug 07
This is a very interesting discussion to me....so if one of the partners were unable due to medical reasons then that would tend to kill the romance and many good marriages have survived this type of thing.... For some others, the friendship and companionship is a much bigger part of the marriage than the physical side.... By romance, holding hands, a shared glance, these are all completely fulfilling if it has to be, in my opinion...
• United States
26 Aug 07
it all depends do u have mutual interests sometimes a friend is all that is needed it probably wont affect u but is that what u really want to do u could end up despising each other some couples get by without it do u want to deal with this or do u want to be with some 1 who can make your eyes roll behind your head trust is more important maybe he is getting or giving it to some 1 else if u can live with it so be it there are such things like open marriages they work for some
• China
26 Aug 07
I think a little romantic is neccessory, but if it is too romantic, I will began to suspect whether how long the love will maintain