Control: Who holds the leash in the relationship?

Switzerland
August 26, 2007 7:25am CST
Why do some of you want us guys to be very strict with you and then when you feel that you're being dominated you tend to complain saying that we are very strict and we are taking control of your lives too seriously and then when we let you go on to your own, you still complain saying that we don't give a d*mn about you because we are too lax with you. And then when we try to readjust ourselves again, you will complain to your girlfriends and to your guy friends that we are stranggling you already and then we, your boyfriends will appear to be the ones who will look as the bad guy? Basically, where do you want us to stand? And don't go telling us that we must learn to know the right amount of being STRICT or CONTROL when in a relationship for it is NOT that easy on us guys specially when you girls, complain every now and then? So technically speaking, how would you like us guys to handle you and these kinds of situations then? ^ Question from a guy friend
4 people like this
8 responses
• United States
27 Aug 07
I would never let a man control me in a relationship, and I would never control him. Then again, I am not the committing type.
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Aug 07
In my relationship , I would have to say the control is 50/50 . Depending on the situation one of us is always in control of a situation which I believe is how it should be in all relationships . Not everything is perfect all the time but at least one of us is always in control enough to talk to the other to figure out a situation or problem we are dealing with at the time . I don't believe that either a woman or a man should ever be too controling as we each have to live our own lives even when we are with someone else . If one is being controlled all the time then they are not living their life but the life the other wants them to live . To me this is a very unhealthy relationship .
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
I always believe that no one is superior or above over the other, same thing also for those who are submissive in corening about having relationships. I always consider that both parties should give their own share in making the relationships work and last long, to keep communications open. Like what these saying, "It takes two to tango!" A relationship will never work, no matter how an individual wants to keep it by doing all the efforts all by him/herself only. Better understanding is what a couple needs, to have a healthy relationship with one another.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
26 Aug 07
In my relationship no one... I don't believe in controlling people and my husband knows i don't put up with it.. If it were to happen I'd leave it's pretty simple.. However people think controlling is the way to help people get along in life i believe it's a lie.. If a person can't run their own life's they should move back home.. However alot of people actually put up with such things.. To me I think it's wrong!!
1 person likes this
@violeta_va (4834)
• Australia
26 Aug 07
I dont like when a men is controling at all. the only 2 people that can have some control over me are my father and mother. If a man is controling than he better look for the door as he aint staing in my life thats for sure. that said my son (4 years) has me wraped around the tip of his little finger :))). I have no control over my husband and he has no control over me. and thats working just fine with us.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
26 Aug 07
LOL well I'm a female and to be perfectly honest with you I dont understand women like that either...Mind you I'm a VERY independant woman and have been taking care of me and answering to nobody since I was 13 yrs old so for a guy to try and over-rule/control/be strict/leash me would be a BIG mistake on his part in a HUGE way LOL...I'm very open to opinions and suggestions from my men but thats as far as I'll let it go.. as for who in my marriage is the "boss" so to speak, my husband will say its me and its a 70/40 situation..at first I was upset when he said that but hindsight is 20/20 and in all reality he's right...BUT he's fine with that cause he knows I have to have it that way for my own peace of mind first off but also because I AM so independant on all levels ya know....
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 07
First of all I'd like to point out that not only are not all girls like that, but in many cases it can also be the guy who seems to be completely off his rocker and making the girl look bad because he seems to have his own personal style of PMS. As for my fiance and I. There is no chain for one or the other to hold. We have a relationship where we respect eachother and neither one of us goes out of our way to act the way you implied in your post. We do have our rough moments, but that's normal with any couple in the world. I don't expect him to take any more responsibility than me and I also don't get all fussy if he's a little strict on occasion. That could just be me though. But we really do treat our relationship and as equal thing. I love him very much and even if a lot of girls do act the way you said, I never would. But maybe I'm just not your typical girl. =)
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
24 Mar 08
I think in a relationship no one should holds the leash at all. A relationship should be equal responsibility and no domination should take place.