How do you feel about fear of rejection?

United States
August 26, 2007 11:50am CST
Fear of rejection is really about ego. If I meet someone and they decide that I'm not the right person for them...should that matter? If my ego says that somehow my value rises when I am wanted and diminishes when I don't fit what someone is looking for, is that true? But, really, neither of these situations has to do with my inherent worth. If I'm in the mood to buy a sweater and I find a red one that I like, does it mean that all red sweaters are superior? If I walk into the supermarket looking for apples and they only have pears, does it mean that apples are no good? Fear of rejection is also about self-centeredness. If I spend an entire date afraid that you think I'm boring or foolish or needy, I might as well be on a date with myself. My own feelings are all I'm thinking of. If I focused on you for a minute, I might snap out of my self-centeredness enough to learn something about you. So how do you feel about these statements. I have had a problem with this my entire life. While it is in the basic sense self-centeredness, it somehow seems to me the very opposite. I care too much what others think and far less about what I think. I have somehow always thought to be confident and not care what other people think is to not care at all and to be self-centered. So where are you on this?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@humbleme (1004)
• India
28 Aug 07
Hello jbrooks0127,Thanks for your interesting post.My answer about fear of rejection is if I get rejected I think either I am not eligible to be accepted (by the person/persons/situation) who have rejected me or they are not eligible to to accept me, and they are loosers,so when I know my criteria I dont fear.I too care everybodys opinions and give lot of importance and respect to people around me and everybody loves me aswell but if I see that someone is taking a wrong step in his/her life regarding any situation in life, being a wellwisher I never forget to alert him/her that their opinion or path is wrong and leave the rest to decide on their own as I believe everybody in this world has his/her own destiny and I believe positive intelligent and honest karma results in good destiny and a person who is too much egocentric cannot be intelligent and therefore eligible to suffer from bad destiny.
• United States
28 Aug 07
Great answer humble. Than you very much for your reply. You are right of course in that our own self worth does not depend on someone else's opinion of us. We all have opinions and while they are right for us they may not be for someone else. I agree with what you say about being egocentric. However my feeling is that when someone is egocentric they are so rapped up in themselves that they often cannot see any other way. So in effect they loose whatever intelligence they have to poor judgment.
@gwendovere (1283)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I just deal with it. I hate dating, and have resolved that I will probably spend most of my life alone. It doesn't worry me anymore; I enjoy my own company, and I like myself.
• United States
27 Aug 07
Good for you. Not many people can say that and mean it. You will be fine I am sure. Thank you very much for responding.