Should women stay at home, barefoot and pregnant?

By Amy
Abernathy, Texas
August 28, 2007 9:26pm CST
Should women, no matter what their intellect, job skills or circumstances remain at home and raise children and keep the house and husband? Why do you think that?
2 people like this
10 responses
@vinzen (1022)
• India
29 Aug 07
Hi, I think it would all depend on the family situation and what are the circumstances. A woman is a home- maker no matter what jobs she may or may not do, she has to take care of the house, of course other family members and her spouse etc, should help her, but the main things shes to take care of. If shes able to take care of things and her house and manage the job as well, then she must take up a job and add to the earnings of the house. Incase there are problems and she has no help and has to raise kids as well, then the job should take a back seat,and she should first set her priority to raise her kids, look after her house and husband. There are cases where the situation is very bad and the need is such that shes no husband or no financial help from anyone, where its a compulsion for her to work out of the house, there she has to work, and the kids would suffer but maybe she can resort to day care or things like that. It would all depend on the situaion and circumstances of the house. If they have help or parents at home and the wife feels shes comfortable with tings, then she should join and take up a job, as shed be wasting her education and knowledge, but shes the one to decide after shes weighed things out, if its feasible for her to take up a job or not. And another alternative is also, what most mothers do is, to raise their kids till they are able to take care of themselves and then move out and take a jopb,so that the kids dont suffer.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
Its true sometimes there is no choice, its clear that despite what must be your upbringing and perhaps your culture and, or spirtiual beliefs, you recognize this. My mom was a single mom because her husband decided that being a husband and father just wasn't his cup of tea. So she had to be mom, homeaker, return to school for some training and then work her way up the corporate ladder until she was vice-president of an international division of an engineering firm that contracts to the State Department and the World Bank. She was the one they trusted to go to Government officials and such of foreign countries and negotiate her way into great contracts. Did she travel the world? Yes. Did she have respect and a great salary? Yes? Did it effect her kids - yes positve and negative - in a positive fashion because we had both people who had traveled the world and those from all over the world over for dinner - and I got to travel a bit too. My brother, who is stable now and a dedicated family man and quite successful in his own right, strayed a bit. Partied, talked back and such. Not sure if this was lack of a dad, or my mom not being there when we got home. Like you say she did what she had to do, and made a success of it. I'm glad that despite the belief that women should stay home, you do see the necessity at times.
@vinzen (1022)
• India
2 Sep 07
Thanks for the response, and i think you should be proud of your mother She surely has achievd a lot in her life and the situation in her life, the down moments, gave her the courage to step out and achoieve all this. Had she been a normal house wife with her secure family and a husband by her side, she would not have reached where shes reached today. ' tough times dont last, tough people do '
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
I love the quote you gave, "tough times don't last, tough people do. " I am very proud of my mother, she is my favourite person. She instilled a good work ethic in all of us. She made us proud of ourselves no matter what we choose to do. My brother and sister are very successful in business. I'm the free spirit and a stay at home mom. My family and husband would support if I decide to go and work, but love me too for staying home and taking care of the most precious person/thing in our lives; our child. I feel like having my baby is an honour. My mom was a good mom, even when she punished us, she separated our behaviour from us as people. She'd say, "Its your behaviour I'm disappointed in, I still love you. " Then she'd send us to our rooms!
@Zorrogirl (1481)
• South Africa
29 Aug 07
it goes both ways. some women just love success as a homemaker and others love corporate success. my life is a mix of the two so i dont know which is better. i guess that doesnt answer the question. i would say, go the work way. the kids are in school most of the time anyway.
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
Zorro - from your last line, would it be fair for me to say that your answer to my question is that women should go to work? I believe it goes both ways as well. A person can feel fufilled being a homemaker or having success in the corporate world. Me I want to have success in a career - far from the corporate world as a counselor and relaxation expert.
@Zorrogirl (1481)
• South Africa
2 Sep 07
my dream is to save enough money so that i can start my own business. i actually want both scenarios, when i think about it. my mom had a home business and she was home with us when we came from school every day. my whole idea for earning my own money is because i dont want my hubby to think i expect everything from him. he also helps around the house.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
8 Sep 07
I too want the same, I either want to go into pastoral counseling or into relxation therapy or both. I feel it would be the best of both worlds. I can have a live in nanny, but when I'm not seeing cients or doing paperwork - I can hang out with my son!
• United States
29 Aug 07
It is the woman's choice. There are many women want to stay home and raise children and there are other women that want to work outside the home.The problem comes when a woman is forced to either stay home or go to work. She should have the choice and be happy with her choice.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
sarahruthbeth (is that all of your children - or all parts of your name?), I happen to agree, I try not to insert my opinion in my discussion - usually - can't remember if I did this time! - but this is an issue close to my heart. I'm currently deciding and I have opinions on all sides from friends and family. For instance, mom and my mother in law think I should wait a few years at least. If I really wanted to stay home, I think my huaband would support it, but I really want us to reach our goals faster - pay off debt - like student loans - so that we can each have careers we care about, teaching our children good work ethic and the value of work and so that - with my chosen career at least, my hours can be flexible enough to spend quallity time with the baby. Its my nature to want to help people and I think I can, and still be there for my child and husband.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Sep 07
No i don't have children. Sarah Beth was taken. I am so glad that you are going back to work. Isn't flex time wonderful? Follow your bliss.Enjoy the baby. And when you can, date your husband. Take care.
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
2 Sep 07
staying at home should be by choice not imposed upon any individual men or women alike. it is not the sole responsibility of the woman to take care of the children and the house, its both. you can have a career and still be a homemaker. it's time management.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
8 Sep 07
Its true, when I'm not working - its certainly still going to be me taking care of the baby and such - so true tuffy.
• Australia
29 Aug 07
I think everyone, regardless of their gender should fulfill their destiny. Everyone has a unique purpose and they are the only ones that can choose to directly pursue it or postpone it. I think that each woman has the choice to one or the other, or even both. No matter which one they choose, it is their choice and they alone have the power to make it happen. I myself would be quite happy to stay at home and raise the children and keep the house and my husband - I quite like that domestic aspect of life. But I know that regardless of what I choose, my partner would not try to stop me from exploring my own interests and desires.
@stealthy (8188)
• United States
29 Aug 07
No, that is not the kind of wife I would want or had. Of course if that was what she wanted and we could afford it than that would be a different matter. In my case that would not be too likely since I like intelligent, strong and independent women and good looking, too. A woman like I described would probably want an active career, but not always.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
Although I want to pursue a career, I think as I think you do, that it is possible, though not as probable that a full time wife and mother can be intelligent, strong, independent and good looking too! I want a career - counseling - which will combine all aspects of my life allow me to work out of the house and, take advantage of skills I offer in my own personal world, compassion and listening, to help me in my community life by partnering with others to build a stronger one.
@Aurone (4758)
• United States
29 Aug 07
Nope, if a woman wants to work she should be able to work. If she wants to stay home with the kids she should be able to stay home and be a homemaker.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
Aurone, I so agree, a woman's place as the saying goes is in the house - and the senate! The world today affords women choices they didn't have just a few short decades ago. I think any path for a woman is noble, whether its staying home and being wife and mother and any other secondary roles she may hold, chief negotiator, accountant, advisor, counselor, enchantress, playmate, domestic goddess etc...or going to work - thus holding two jobs, her workaday job and the roles she plays at home.
• United States
29 Aug 07
no a waman can still take care of her children and be out in the world doing the things she loves to do,no one wants to stay home 24/7
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
In an ideal world, care of children would be a shared task - even if a woman stayed home, since she works long hours, her husband could take over for a few when she came home so she could go for a long walk, or to the gym or to a part-time job -or school so that she could have a lucrative career that would allow him to take over for awhile.
• Canada
29 Aug 07
Oh boy...what a question to ask someone with a feminist perspective like me. No...I do not think that woman should be forced into a situation like that unless they choose that for themselves and are happy, content and fulfilled in being at home, barefoot, pregnant and raising the children and tending to their husbands. Every person has a right to choose the direction their lives will take. To me no man has the right to confine a wife to a life if that is not what she wants for herself. To be bound to a life when you'd rather be doing something else is a form of slavery. I thought it went out many, many years ago. Or did it?
@gesell03 (173)
• Philippines
29 Aug 07
every woman must choose one day whether to follow her dreams or be a mother and fulfill a great part, once you become a mother you are forever responsible for the life of your child, you cannot abandon them, you cannot even possibly balance work and having kids, one must choose and stick with that decision.
• Australia
31 Aug 07
I note that you wrote "every woman must choose one day whether to FOLLOW HER DREAMS or BE A MOTHER" I was just wondering if you intentionally wrote it that way or whether it was a mistake??? I would just like to say that some women's dreams might either BE being a mother or INCLUDE being a mother...
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
2 Sep 07
I agree, my dreams at first didn't include this - at first as in until I met and married my husband. Yet, despite my adventurous life and spirit, I clearly see that this is just another adventure - with many dreams ahead - some involve him - some are fully my own. :)