Those people you thought were already your friends...

By Leca
@lecanis (16664)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
August 30, 2007 3:01pm CST
Do you occasionally click on someone's profile and see the "add as a friend" option when you were pretty sure that person was already your friend? Maybe I seriously need to downside my friend's list but this seems to be happening to me a lot lately. I guess it makes me wonder if I'm being deleted by people a lot, or if it's just that somehow I've managed to talk to people across several discussions and yet not friend request them? Does anyone else have this happen to them? Which do you usually assume -- that you never were on this person's list in the first place, or that you remember correctly that you were and that means they must have deleted you?
6 people like this
18 responses
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
30 Aug 07
Don't Worry Hunni!!! I won't delete You! ;) only time i delete people is when their spamming me or their doing a bunch of pathetic one liner discussions, making a waste of my email space. you, my dear, are none of those things, and ni totally love your discussions, even if all i can do is read them.....
3 people like this
• Canada
30 Aug 07
plus somehow, i can't remember anything in my life, yet i can remember who i added and who i didn't, who i deleted and so on, so when i find that it's like omg, you deleted me, fine....
3 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
30 Aug 07
Thank you! I feel so reassured now! =) I wouldn't delete you either! =) I actually haven't deleted many people at all, just a couple that obviously didn't come here anymore, and even some of those I keep on my list just out of nostalgia value.
2 people like this
• Australia
30 Aug 07
I responded to someone who was definitely on my friends list, and had been for a long time. Checking back on the discussion later, I found he had commented on every response except mine. I also found the discussion wasn't in the "discussions my friends started" list. I checked and I was no longer on his friends list. I think I could be pretty sure he had deleted me, but I'll never know why. We always got along very well. I have deleted friends before. These were ones who posted many discussions which were almost all recipes or household hints. (thankfully now against the guidelines) They were crowding out my "friends started" which meant I had to sift through pages and pages to find discussions. Because of my monthly download limit I had to delete them. The thing is, though, I PMd them explaining why I had to do it.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
30 Aug 07
Hmmm that's strange, I can't imagine why someone would delete you. You've always been so sweet to me at least. =) *nods* I can understand why you would delete those types. I can see doing that as well, if I used the email notifications or had download limits and things. I would also PM anyone before I deleted them I think, even if they had been really offensive, just to explain why.
2 people like this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
For the past nine months I've been here, I still limit the number of friends I have on my list. There are some that are good topic starters, that I just cannot remove although they've inactive for a long time now. I am still hoping that they will get back here, post good topics and discuss again with one another. Also, there are friends on my list that I want to delete because they only make senseless discussions. but I don't easily dump them, I give them a benefit of the doubt, that maybe they are just confused of the postings they start -which also happens to me at times, so I start less discussions instead. Most of the discussions I respond at are from members which are not on my list, because there are topics that I am not aware of posted by my mylot friends. Discussions like parenting, which I don't have any idea since I am not yet a parent. Some are also inactive but start less discussions, so I guess this really depends on what comes out on the discussions I see on the board.
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
I also have discussions that I thought were from my friends, but when I check them out, they are not..
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
*nods* I really should limit my number better, it's getting completely out of control. But I'm just too nice! I can't stand to let my old friends go, even the ones who are inactive, because I keep hoping they'll come back. And even people who start a lot of discussions I'm not interested in, if they're nice, I'll keep them around because I like them. There are some people on my friend's list that I don't have a lot in common with really, but whom I consider friends all the same. You have a good point about not always responding to friend's discussions becuase they talk about things you don't know about. That often happens to me with friends who live in other countries, because they might talk about actors I don't know or sports people or whatever, and often even people from my own country have interests I just don't share. So sometimes it will be a while between responses to a specific person, depending on what types of discussions they are starting. I respond very often by interest category too. I have some that I always check first if I see them pop up saying there is a new discussion there. I guess I'm just really passionate about some things. =P
2 people like this
@1grnthmb (2063)
• United States
31 Aug 07
It is rare that some one is dropped because they have to many friends. It is often a glitch. Or that you have said something that has offended someone. The only ones that I have deleted are ones that spam me with there business opertunities.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
Thanks for responding! I can definitely understanding dropping people for that reason!! =)
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
I promise I'm not normally that dumb! That just came out horribly wrong, but I'm tired. Forgive the horrible grammar.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
30 Aug 07
I forget a lot if someone is or was or should be on my friends list. I actually was thinking of starting a discussion along these lines till I did a search and found this one. I see responses in my discussions and think, is this person on my list of friends or not. I have had some delketed accidently due to glitches here once or twice in the past. That was frustrating as these friends accused me of being nasty not letting them know I was deleting them. But alAs things worked out and they understoOd. HAHAHA! ThANKS AND HAVE A GREAT DAY/EVENING AS WELL. happy postings from grandpa bob !!`
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
30 Aug 07
WOW! just checked your profile. I used to have a cabin on Houghton Lake in the 60's. I also went to Whitmore lake and Wixom lake a lot. I lived in Belleville at those times. I was born and raised in Dearborn Michigan. Moved to Minnesota in 1975 and been here ever since. Sent a freiends request as well. Thanks in adbvance if you accept it. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
So you're a troll? (Oh sorry, I know that means something else online, but since I'm a Yooper I had to say it). It's funny how often people confuse Houghton and Houghton Lake, I almost thought for a moment you were saying you were from up here, and then I remembered that Houghton Lake is downstate. =P Thanks for your response, and for the add. =)
2 people like this
• United States
31 Aug 07
I have trimmed down my list only to add more to it. It seems like a never ending cycle. The ones I thought were inactive signed back on. Of course this made me feel bad about deleting them!
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
*giggles* Yup, that sort of thing happens. I haven't cut any of the people I really was close to when I first joined, because some part of me hopes they'll come back someday. But I do have other people whom I have cut for being inactive, and if they came back I'm sure I'd feel horrible for doing it. And of course I'm always adding new people, whether it's because I can't imagine that I hadn't added them before, or if they're really new users who have a lot in common with me. I mean, my friend's list grew by about five today at least I think!
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7880)
31 Aug 07
I go through this as well manytimes over. I think a few I have deleted for being inactive for months then they come back. Others are people I just see so much I just figured they were on my list. Then of course a couple are people that couldn't handle who I was and well most likely were on my list and dropped me. No loss there.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
*nods* I know that I haven't really ever been inactive since I joined, for more than maybe a week or so, but I'm sure people have dropped me for offending them before, just by being whom I am kind of. There have been a few users who have surprised me though, who even though we were very different have become valuable friends to me. It's so wonderful. =)
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
30 Aug 07
well, don't you be deleting me when you decide to slim down your list of friends!!! I may not always respond to everything you write but I sure as he-llo read and rate what you write. LOL I don't think I have ever really noticed this type of thing happening on my list of friends. So I don't know if anyone has ever deleted me. Could be it has happened and I did not even notice. Kinda sad, huh. Well, I hope the rest of your day goes better.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
31 Aug 07
See, that's just it, I can't delete anyone because I like everyone so much! And I don't blame you for not responding to everything I write, I know I don't respond to everything any of my friends writes either, but I do a lot of reading and rating as well. =) Thanks fory our response to my discussion. You know, people could have deleted me and I didn't notice too, considing how huge my list has gotten over the months!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Aug 07
Yes, I've had that happen to me too. I know for a fact that I was on their friends list and then I went to look to respond to their discussions one day and they weren't on my friends list anymore. I don't know if I said something to tick them off or if they just deleted me. Oh well.
2 people like this
• Egypt
31 Aug 07
That,s good advice Iam new member .Now Iam looking for frinds in Mylot
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
Well, actually it doesn't really matter for me if they will add me as their friend or not, or if i add them as my friend. What is important for me here in mylot is my earnings and yeah still have fun by having lots of knowledge about different people. But actually, i wanna take this opportunity to thank those people that keep on adding me as their friends and actually keep on interacting with me. Im so glad with you guys! Have a nice day ahead from Kiko.
2 people like this
@ArsonCuff (3121)
• United States
31 Aug 07
I have like 3 friends on here..lol..I know 1 of them.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Aug 07
I've had that happen a couple of times, which it seems to happen on other sites, too. Myspace is one where I think I become a victim of 'cleaning up the list.' Yeah, it is hard for me to keep track of my friends on there because I have like 500, but it is a little easier here. LOL
• United States
31 Aug 07
I haven't this happen to me yet.What I get is a person that I declined to add to my friend list is back asking again.I just say no again and go on. i haven't checked my friend list lately.I am going to check my friends list. Thanks for the post.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25064)
• Australia
31 Aug 07
I can't imagine anyone deleting you unless you said something that went against their personal beliefs. I can only imagine folk deleting me for that reason or because I wasn't responding to their posts enough. I waaaay behind still...lol. It doesn't matter, I know my real friends wouldn't delete me. Just add them (again) and see if they accept.
1 person likes this
@no_chao (550)
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
so am i.....you might be right or maybe.... he/she was just very active to give responses to your discussions because of his/her interest or both of you have same interest and both of you too might thought that you are already a friend in friendlist..lol... it does happened with me... i was so surprised to found out that all those times... we are not yet a friend!!... ^_^
1 person likes this
@laridbz (1287)
• China
12 Sep 07
It happened to me only once, and I'm pretty sure the girl was on my friend's list before (if she wasn't, then I must be going crazy, because I remember it very well). Then, I just assumed she deleted me for some reason. I still don't know if it's true or if it really is, I don't know the reason why I was deleted. Just move on and find other friends. :)
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
31 Aug 07
It's happened to me before and I think it's because I have come across the same people in other discussions. I always tell myself I need to add them as a friend, and then I forget. Most of the time I end up remembering that I never added them in the first place.