Accaptance

United States
September 5, 2007 2:34am CST
Ok, so I'm a little anoyed and a bit hurt. Like a lot of people on here I have a myspace page. Well a person I knew in high school has been talking with me for a bit via messages on myspace. Now mind you my page is set to private so even though he was able to message me he wasn't able to pull up anything on my page. I finally added him to my friends list and now I wish I hadn't. He made the comment to me that he is disapointed in me because of who I am with. See I am in an interracial relationship and apperently he thinks that I have "sold out" to my own kind. I am a bit pissed at that to be honest. I don't think I should be forced to only date/marry a certian race and be excluded from everyone else. I love my spouse and I wouldn't trade him in for anyone I don't care what color they are. I am just wondering if anyone has ever gone through or treated someone like crap becasue of who they've chosen to love.
12 people like this
16 responses
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I am not in an interracial marriage but when I started dating my husband, people told me to stay away from him. He is older them me and he was a bouncer and a welder. I was a college girl. He had been married before and had a little girl. I was just a teenager who had the world ahead of me. My father even refused to speak to me and my friends wouldn't even MEET him. Well, 23 years later, I have two sons, a devoted and VERY hard working husband, my father fell in love with him and always said if we divorced, he would want to keep my husband, and my friends all wish they had someone like him. So you know what? To heck with what people say. Disappointed. How can they even be disappointed when they have no idea what your relationship is like? It isn't skin color or age or looks or occupation. It's compatibility, respect, and love. If people don't respect that, I feel they aren't respecting you. Maybe your friend is jealous? I think you should cling to the man you love and tell the world to p*ss off. Sorry to be so blunt but if I had listened to everyone back them, I'd probably be divorced or in some kind of abusive relationship with a "college boy" like everyone wanted me to marry. Here's to love!
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 07
Well I know one thing is for sure, I'm not going to listen to people when they tell me they don't think I should be with my guy. When we first got together I was afraid of how his family would react when meeting me. I was welcomed into his family and have been treated like I have always been a member. Hell his mom calls me sometimes just to be calling. When I was younger my grandfather told me that no matter who we end up with in life, as long as they treat you right and you are happy then nothing else matters. I agree with him on that.
2 people like this
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
5 Sep 07
Amen to that! All that matters is if you love the person and they love you back. The rest is other people's problems, not yours or mine or anyone else who gets or got hassled for their choice.
2 people like this
@moneyandgc (3438)
• United States
5 Sep 07
Wow, I don't think I could be friends with someone as closeminded and disrespectful. I understand that everyone has their own opinions, but it was downright rude of him to voice them to you. My husband is Mexican and the race issue never crossed my mind until my parents neighbor brought it up. She asked, "What does you dad think because he is Mexican?" My dad has never said anything about it, and this was almost 5 years ago. He is a well-educated and intelligent person whom I happen to love. That is all that matters.
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Sep 07
I totally agree with you. I have NEVER treated anyone like that nor would I ever. I have not gone through it either because everyone I know was always accepting of whoever I dated. Some people are so narrow minded it drives me nuts. No one can stop themselves from falling in love with anyone. People that are racist are just as bad as gay bashers I wish they would all either grow hearts or vanish into thin air. You just stick up for who you and your hubby are and don't let people like your highschool friend do anything to ruin what you have.
@lightningMD (5937)
• United States
5 Sep 07
How terrible of him. People are people the color of skin means nothing. It's the way people act and the way they live their lives that matter. I feel sorry for your friend that he is that shallow a person. Hopefully he will grow up someday.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 07
I haven't been in a situation like this personally, but my step niece has. People have made comments to her. As long as you love the person you're with, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. There are always going to be people who frown down on you for one reason or another. I would never treat someone differently because they're with someone from a different race.
• United States
5 Sep 07
The most important person in anyone's life should be their spouse. Anyone who tries to come between you or cause trouble should be simply and politely put out of your life. If they change their attitude, let them back in.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
5 Sep 07
yea I have....both because of race and also because of other reasons like my other being in prison for what he is and so on....Its gotta be a shock though to hear this sort of thing from your friend especially if you had no idea that his position was such as it is....The race thing with me is actually comical with me..whenever ppl would b!tch about my not "stickin with my own kind" I'd usually say something along the lines of "well you find me a nice Polish/jamaican man and I'll be happy to go for coffee with him" That used to shut ppl up pretty damn fast LOL As annoying as it is Angel i wouldnt let it get to you...You're happy, you've found love in a wonderful man...jealousy will get others nowhere ;-)
2 people like this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
5 Sep 07
Use that sweet little 'delete' button... he's not a friend and you don't have to call him one. A friend will accept you AND your spouse, if they have questions they will ask them and not assume, and they will go out of their way to NOT hurt you! My husband is Hispanic, and my very white family had a hard time with that... but it didn't take them too long to realize what a good man he is. If your 'friend' can't do that, and be happy that YOU are happy, then having him around will only cause problems.
• United States
5 Sep 07
Thank you for your kind words. I think I will delete him from my list, its sad that we were fine until he saw the pics of my spouse. I don't know wether it is him being jealous or just ignorant but either way I'm not about to have anyone disrespect my family as he has.
2 people like this
@Malyck (3430)
• Australia
5 Sep 07
I completely agree with Alamode. This man is obviously no friend, even if he had been in the past, his true colours have now shown, and they sound unpleasant, ignorant, racist and discriminatory, not like anyone I would befriend for much longer. Fortunately I've never had to deal with racism from within my immediate family, or with any of the families of my past partners, but I have dealt with friends who quickly dismissed one of my former partners simply based on his appearance, and would not give him a second chance. They're obviously not worth our time - I'm sorry you had to cop this sh*t, it's not something anyone should have to deal with! =D Have a great day! Mal.
2 people like this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
5 Sep 07
Good for you, d-angel... you have your priorities in the right order... too bad HE doesn't, because it sounds like he'll be missing out on being with some great people! Take care!
1 person likes this
@HighReed1 (1127)
• United States
6 Sep 07
Your 'friend' is a jerk! Sorry....just spoke my mind. If your husband is decent, not a bum or lush, works, etc...I don't see what problem your friend could have. If you are happy, safe and have the necessities, he could be PURPLE for all I care! As long as he's doing what you need him to. I'm sorry you found out that guy was such a schmo. Just delete him and go on.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Sep 07
So I ended up cussing the jerk out today. I have myspace IM and so when I logged on to it he messaged me. He made the comment that I must be with my guy cause of money or something. At that point I went off on him. I told him that just becasue he couldn't find a girl that was able to take care of herself without mooching off of him doesn't mean every woman in the world needs a man to take care of her. I then informed him that although I am not working if needed I could very well financially take care of my own without a problem. After that I kicked him from my list. Stupid jacka$$
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Sep 07
You should let him know that you are disappointed in him that you thought that he was smart enough to realize that the color of someone doesn't tell you anything about a person . One can't help what they look like or where they come from and just because you are in an interacial relationship has nothing to do with you selling out . You feel in love with someone who loves you very much and whom you love just as much and in life that is one of the most important things you will ever find . My niece is from an interacail relationship and she is beautiful , smart and very kind and she is just as important as any of the rest of my family as she is a part of my family now and always will be and what has always amazed me is that individuals are so quick to judge someone because of their color yet will spend hours in the sun trying to get the color of skin my niece has but then will act like somehow they are better . I would be telling this guy that if he can't see that love has nothing to do with color , race or religion then you don't want to have any more dealings with someone who is still this ignorant in this day and age . It is time for him to grow up !!
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8527)
• United States
6 Sep 07
I was taught from birth that race is only skin deep. Many people are taught the opposite. It's sad and it's pitiful. There is no logical reason do dislike any group of people. There are jerks in all races, religions, orientations, and nationalities. No one can control who they love. You are happy and that should be all that matters to any person who calls themselves friend. This person is not a friend. In this world where true love can be so hard to find, you've found it. GOod for you. It's as it should be. Don't sweat the haters.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3095)
• United States
6 Sep 07
That is so crappy!! Why would someone be so rude as to make a comment about that on your page where your other friends can see it? That is just rude!! I would just delete then as your friend and not worry about it, if they are going to be so shallow and mean then you don't need to be friends with them. I have never experienced anything like that so I can't imagine how it would feel.
@katkat (2379)
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
i havent experienced anything like this so i don't know how will i react, but i guessed if you love that person then it is not an issue if he is from different race.just don't mind others.
@nangel78 (1459)
• United States
6 Sep 07
I would just delete them and move on. I am not trying to sound cold, but if it is someone from high school who cannot be accepting of who you are then I would go my own way.
• United States
5 Sep 07
I have never been in that kind of sitution but than again I do not have a myspace account I do not like it I am on tagworld and I plan on staying there a long time
@iyamapa (259)
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
if you love someone you cant really say that you have to do this and do that. i can say that loving a person includes acceptance and patience. everything comes from a bulk. why? because sometimes we accepted them already but they dont consider that. sometimes we cant accept them but they consider. so the best thing to do here is to give love and stick to it.