When did you stop believing in happily ever after?

United States
September 5, 2007 8:34am CST
What do you think about living "happily ever after"? Do you still think that it's a possibility? Is it ever possible to achieve a lasting state of marital happiness for both partners? Or, is it inevitable that one person will get bored and start causing trouble or leave? I'm not sure if I've ever been in a situation where I could say that I lived happily ever after. For one thing, my life is not over, so who is to say whether or not I will live blissfully with my family forever, or take a new path a decade or two from now. My wishful thinking assures me that we will be blissfully happy always. But, that's just wishful thinking. I guess that I still believe that there can be a "happily ever after" scenario, even though I've been disappointed before. I suppose if I'd been married and divorced several times, then perhaps I might be a little more cynical about love and lasting happiness. One thing is for sure. Just because you are happy today, does not mean that you will always feel that way. That's what I have experienced in my life. So, what do you think about living happily ever after? Do you think it's a real possibility? Is there some way to achieve lasting happiness whether through marriage or life pursuits? How have you achieved or maintained your happy state?
5 people like this
13 responses
• United States
5 Sep 07
I'm still living my happily ever after. It's been 9 yrs with the love of my life and we are still like newlyweds. A lot of things have changed since we met and we've had hard time with money and health problems but our relationship is the same now as it's always been. He's one of the few men I've ever trusted, he treats me like a Queen, he's romantic (much more than me) and arguments are very rare and quickly resolved. We just fit. How to maintain it.. it's not really difficult. It's a matter of working at being understanding, compassionate and reading when the other person needs something from you emotionally and providing it even if you don't feel like it sometimes. A little sacrifice goes a long way. Appreciating each other, avoiding complacency, not taking each other for granted, remembering simple politeness, compromising on big things and the little things too, all go a long way to maintaining a healthy relationship.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 07
That's very good advice! I am always trying to work on the compassion aspect. With our two different schedules, sometimes my spouse and I are not up at the same time and so it's difficult dealing with someone overly tired when you have just woke up. Causes many issues. We are working on it. A marriage is a construction site, or maybe a fixer-upper. Always something to be worked on and plenty of room for improvement and change. Thanks for dropping by.
@haven17 (48)
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
until now i still believe with the thing called "happily ever after" tho its not what im getting right now--my life today is really disgusting that after loving someone with all my heart, that person gave me a lot of pain that i think i cudn't bear anymore..,he left me with nothing!after devoting my time to him he left and never contact me anymore---well that's life and ofcorse that doesn't stop me from believing that there is a certain special guy that is really meant for me!
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 07
I am sure you will find your true heart's desire if you look for him.
• United States
5 Sep 07
I believe Happy ever after isn't thru a spouse but, with your self and the life that you provide be it children ,work, social activites,the things that put a smile on your face or friends whatever even a clean house if that is your acomplishment is for the day me, today laundry sooo simple but, thats what I feel good about and today when the day is over I can sleep with one less thing to think about and tommorrow who knows it could be talking with a friend or watching the sun set enjoy the small moments they only last a few min.
@KrisNY (7592)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I’m living in my happily ever after- I make the most out of each day- and if my relationship ends- then it’s just a set-back- I’m still happy- and will again look for happily ever after- I have seen many people put the work into relationships and live “married” happy for the entire lives- so I know it can happen!
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
You must have been lucky enough to found your perfect soul mate. :)
@SViswan (12072)
• India
7 Sep 07
I think it's possible but not everyone is lucky. My parents are happily married. That is not to say that they do not have their share of arguments and never thought of separating. But they've worked it all out and have learnt to adjust to each other. I don't think everyone can do that. And I don't think I can live happily ever after unless I am alone..lol. Anyways, I still have a long way to go to decide if I will live happily ever after.
• Malaysia
6 Sep 07
when there were so many misfortunes that happen, one after another..but still, i believe, there is a rainbow at the end of the road, and one day, there will be a happily ever after..only time will tell :P
@violeta_va (4834)
• Australia
6 Sep 07
I did belive in happily ever after and the 3bedroom house with 2.4 kids and a nice fance and all that. I got married had my son got a house and I was thinking well we are half way there. I had my sons future in my head and schools, and girfriends, and university and grand kids. Then I was told he has autism he strugles every day so my ever after finished that day now I dont think of the future as in 20 years time I think of it as toomorow, next word he learn, each new task he perfects. This way I have lerned to apresiate my son better not take him for granted and love him the way he is not the way I dreamed of him been.
@cderrs (69)
6 Sep 07
I never believed in 'happy ever after's'. Ever.
@hisoka147 (606)
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
I think living happily ever after can be achieve if both of you totally understand one another.
• United States
6 Sep 07
I don't think that any relationship is perfect and that their will always be conflict no matter who a person decides to be with.
• Hong Kong
6 Sep 07
I stopped believing in "happily ever after" long time ago. I believe we need to work to be happy, it won't arrive all of a sudden, especially in coupledom when there are so many compromises to make between two people. I think it's achievable but it's not like in the fairy tales where they never mentioned the "married life" and that really makes me wonder why the author would just stop right there *laughs*.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
5 Sep 07
When I first started "dating" a few years back and found tons of harpies to make me a little more cynical. The final boot came when I saw close friends, many of them in some failed relationship either broken up, or "married"/enslaved (yes I did not mistype that, it is literal). I am cynical when it comes to relationships and marriage, but not all hope is lost. (Hey you can check my marriage proposal thread to see some glimmer of light ;p) Still, if you are in a relationship and its not so great, make sure to look at both parties involved. If its the other person, its best not to stay, people rarely if ever change. And for those out of a relationship dealing with heartache and doubt, enjoy your life as is. You do not need another to be complete. It may be beautiful and I hope those that do seek union find the right person, but don't let it dictate your life. You are beautiful and worth quite a lot, make that a top priority, and keep living and be happy.
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
5 Sep 07
There is only one way that anyone will live happily ever after. It is to base your happiness only on yourself. If you are happy with your life and see the direction you are taking is right for you then regardless of relationship problems you will be fine. Relationships are never perfect. There is no such thing. There has to always be problems because men and women do not see life the same. But true friendship followed by genuine caring for your spouse will come about as close as you can to true happiness. However your happiness should never be based on them being happy. My version of happily ever after is two people who are very close friends and lovers that are also independent. You can be happy in your life together and happy in your life apart. This would be happily ever after.