Do you automatically assume your children are telling the truth?

United States
September 8, 2007 4:46am CST
Lately, I've noticed that my daughter is starting to tell little white lies. Nothing major, just the self serving variety. I don't think she's trying to be bad or mischievous, but she is certainly putting her own spin on the truth. So, now I'm wondering, do all little kids make up things or embellish the truth? Are these little white lies harmless or do they lead to bigger deceptions later on? And, how do I teach her that it's important to always tell the truth?
6 people like this
16 responses
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
8 Sep 07
It seems to be normal for kids to tell white lies. Yours is not the only one. It is the same with my son. Once he told his mom that he was kept at school after school, in fact he went to the Internet cafe to surf on the Internet. My wife happened to call have called his teacher before he told the lie. My son wouldn't admit it. Another time he went to the net cafe again for thirty minutes. This time he was caught by his mom and he had to admit the fact. Later he was taught not to go such a public place again. He has been allowed to surf online for two hours on the afternoon of Sunday ever since. He has never been there again.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Sep 07
I see what you are saying. Perhaps I will try to find ways to accommodate her so that she gets some more things she wants and does not have to tell little white lies in order to receive them. Doesn't she know that I would give her the world, if she would only ask? Be well and thanks for dropping by.
1 person likes this
• China
9 Sep 07
Thanks, friend.
@sephrenia (567)
8 Sep 07
I'm the opposite, at least with my daughter. She has told some huge lies in the past that got me and my husband into some serious trouble so i automatically assume now that she isnt telling me the whole truth or may be telling me an outright lie. I will try and find corroboration before I will accept her version of events. It sounds harsh but I cant take the chance with her that she may simply be trying to get someone else up the creek without a paddle. If its just something that she may have taken from me or used without my permission, I can usually tell when she is lying about who took it or what have you. With my son I try to believe he is telling me the truth, but there are times where I wonder lol. Again i try to find corroboration if it involves someone else.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 07
Mine just tells the tiny white lies to me. Like when she wants a snack, she will claim to have put all her bears up and later I will find that she has not. Maybe it is wishful thinking on her part. She's not even four years old yet. So, perhaps it is not a lie in her mind.
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I think all of my kids went through a period of time where they would tell white lies when they were little. For instance, my daughter spilled a cup of water and insisted that she didn't do it. Even though someone watched her do it. We just continually sat her down and told her that it wasn't nice to lie. we explained what lying meant and that it hurt our feelings when she lied to us. If they kept it up, we would gradually start punishing them for it, like putting them in time-out, or not letting them do their favorite activity for the day... Eventually they stopped. Now, they are too busy tattling on eachother to get away with anything!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
8 Sep 07
No, I always try to catch their little white lies because if you don't they will start in on bigger ones because they got away with the small ones. I think they all do it, when testing to see how far they can push and what they can get away with.
1 person likes this
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
8 Sep 07
while it's still early try to talk to the child, it's better to correct the habit early before it gets worst. just be very patient and clear with them. scolding them will not do any good.
1 person likes this
@swathi53 (33)
• India
8 Sep 07
Its a common fear to each and every body.First scold her abt the lie she told to her,then tell her the consequences that come on her abt telling lie. Keep a eye on her always without her notice. Try to be more friendly with her.If so,then she wont tell any lie with u.I am sure friend.Try it u will be successfull.......
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I’m sure they all go through this stage- It’s not funny but sometimes it is- You just need to tell her the truth is always the best way to go- Sit her in time out when she fibs- teach her young- that the truth is the way to go- or correct her often- with the truth. I’m sure most kids do this!
• Philippines
10 Sep 07
well the way they open up their spiel would definitely tell if they are talking the truth :)
@tad1fan (3373)
• Canada
10 Sep 07
With my 3 oldest,we let it slide....that's what my mom told us to do but it got worse and worse....the small lies turned to bigger lies......with my other 2 we stressed that telling the truth was important for them and when they did lie,big or little,we told them that we weren't going to wate outr time listening to their lies.....eventually they would come to us with the truth,they wanted mommy and daddy to listen!
@youless (94361)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Sep 07
Yes, I believe that my child speaks the truth to me. Right now he is still too little to tell a lie.
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
9 Sep 07
My daughter is six and she does lie alot if we don't get on to her. If we just let it go and not say anything to her the lies get bigger and come out of her mouth more often. So we don't get mad at her we just correct her and sometimes talk to her about lying and that it isn't nice. My husband told her we know she isn't trying to hurt anyone by lying but it does hurt people sometimes and if she lies to her friends and stuff they probably won't want to be her friend anymore because nobody likes a liar. So I definitely think you should say something to her, don't get angry or anything just let her know that she is not telling the truth.
• United States
9 Sep 07
My kids are grown now but when they were like 9.10 12 yrs old & i ask them if they were smoking & they said no but come to find out they were & were doin alot more, I was shocked i just knew they would not lie if i came right out & ask, But Kids only tell u what they think u want to here,So take some advice when u ask them & they look at u with those loving eyes & say no i am not lieing u can bet your sweet bottom they r. I have 3 boys & 1 girl & my daughte was perfect never caused me any problems all ways called if she was going to be late in fact she was more of a adult than i was when i was younger,Girls theirs a old saying if u think they r then they r,
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
9 Sep 07
My son lies sometimes. I tell him that if he keeps on, we aren't going to believe him when he is telling the truth. He watched me get onto one of the dogs for biting the other, and now he is always say "Bwaggie (Blackie) bite Elliott" or "Woodie bite Bwaggie!" or whatever. At first I just told him that it wasn't true and he needed to stop telling things that weren't true. Then I told him that if he kept on, I wouldn't believe him when he was telling the truth. Then last time he did it, I told him he was going into time out if he lied about the dogs like that again. That was a couple of weeks ago, and he hasn't done it since. If it's just silly little stories, but he's not trying to get out of trouble, or get someone else in trouble, I just tell him that it was a good story, even though we know it isn't true. I want him to still be creative and use his imagination. The last story he told was that Trinitie was a fairy sprite. lol He didn't get in trouble for that since he wasn't trying to get anyone in trouble.
@agnescav (566)
• United States
9 Sep 07
My oldest daughter told me a lie when she was about 19 months old. She said her sister wrote on the toy box. Her sister was five months old. i was impressed that she could spell on. She told me it said no. My granddaughter was so upset this week that her mom 'her just stick me in my pajamas' when she was visiting last week. According to her mom, she screamed bloody murder cause she wasn't getting dressed in anything but those pajamas. So I guess most if not all little kids tell lies.
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I think little kids will try to see what they can get away with as far as telling lies. My kids learned at very young ages that it's a lot harder to remember a lie than it is the truth so I never really had a problem with them telling lies to this day and their all adults now and teaching their kids the same thing.
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
8 Sep 07
children growing up will experiment with things and one of those things will be telling lies/truth. if they 'learn' that they can get away with lies then they may end up a compulsive liar when they grow up. if the parents disciplined their children into telling the truth (catching them telling lies and punishing them for it) then later in life it shows.