I must be beyond gullible! Part 1

@Katlady2 (9920)
United States
September 10, 2007 8:20pm CST
Over the last few months, I have begun to question my ability to judge whether people are worth having as friends. This one friend of mine (for those of you who've known me for a while, it's the one that went to the comedy show with me...I'll call her Friend A) has been in my life for over six years. We met while we were both working at the convenience store where I was the assistant manager. We very quickly became inseparable. She has been like a sister to me, pretty much taking the place of my biological sister that has nothing to do with me. Or at least I thought she was like a sister to me. People had made comments to me in the past about this friend's ability to be loyal, and about her not being able to keep her mouth shut about personal things. But I had her back and defended her with all of my heart. Now, I have this other friend (Friend B) that I have known for almost as long as the first one. We also met at the convenience store. It took a bit longer for us to connect as friends, but after we did, we became very close...again, the sister type relationship. Ok....so a few months ago, I decided "what the heck....why not introduce them to each other, and we can all three be one big happy goofy family together." Boy! Was that the worst decision I ever made! It turned out that Friend A was so very very jealous of the friendship between me and Friend B, that she started bad mouthing me and stabbing me in the back to Friend B quite badly. Now I know some of you are thinking "how do you know it's not Friend B that caused the problems?" Believe me, if I hadn't known Friend B for so long or so well, I would have told HER to get outta town! But she is the most awesome and kindhearted person I have ever known. I won't go into all that was said, as it was quite a lot (when I wrote it all down to show to hubby, it covered three pages front and back!). But here's one of the things that was said...Friend A told Friend B that "she had received a phone call from my hubby a while back, and he told her in confidence (her words) that he was going to file for a divorce, and that he was going to let me stay in the house until I found a job because the house actually belongs to his mom and I would be screwed if we divorced now." But get this...hubby and I had major problems a few years ago, and I had told both of these friends that "I" wanted to get a divorce, and that I was going to have to get a job so that I could move out since the house belonged to his mom and I would be screwed if I filed right away. Sound familiar? After I managed to pull myself together from crying for three days, I got to thinking really hard about the past friendship with Friend A, and there were things that I guess I had overlooked, or just attributed to being a part of her (what I thought to be) ditzy nature. When I confronted Friend A about all the things that she had said to Friend B, she admitted to some of it, skirted around other parts of it, and attributed the rest of it to "forgetfulness". All of that whole fiasco totally destroyed my trust in Friend A. Every time I talk to her, I always wonder which way she'll stab me in the back again and to whom. Oh...and she also admitted to Friend B that she didn't think I had enough willpower and strength to go through gastric bypass surgery, and all of the "rules" for eating afterward. And this is supposed to be my support person!! Some support huh? Anyway, thank you all for letting me vent on that. I'm sorry it's so long winded, but it was too hard to try to sum it all up in a nutshell. Obviously, there's more, but that's on a different "alleged" friend. Hugs to all.
3 people like this
7 responses
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
11 Sep 07
No need to apologize about being long winded or venting...heck we all need to vent at times...It seems to me that both Friend A and Friend B both of whom you thought were as sister types, and closer than you're own sister were jealous of each other once you introduced them to each other, cause they may have thought that they were "it" in your life. And lets face it people are just plain weird, if the one no longer realizes that they are the one and only close person in your life, jealousy is bound to rear its ugly head and then a battle goes on, and the misinformation begins as well. ah--such is life.. I had a bit of a shock in a way...this is that friend of mine from CA...the one that was always annoying and making phone calls to me and leaving messages on my machine...She knew how busy I am in front of a computer yet would leave messages like...well you can't be THAT busy--That friend..the one I was kvetching about in a discussion here--Okay..now she knows my financial situation..she knows I get SSI disability...yet just the other night she calls and asks me...Oh, can you loan me $200---Honestly, I must have punctured her eardrum cause I blurted out WHAT??? I was just so taken aback that she had the audacity of asking me for such a large sum of money like that...Yet, here's the real kicker...and I was surprised over this...A mutual friend of both of us DOES have a bit of money kicking around...and I asked the her "Oh, did Cherie by any chance call you up and ask you for money?" Response...Nope..so like why me?? I was in such a "mood" for days after this...I mean sure, if I HAD the money to loan out, sure, but Cherie darn well knows I don't, so like what the he!! is she asking for....Oh gee...ain't friends grand--no wonder I like my kitties better....LOL
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I remember the friend you are talking about. Sheesh! She actually asked you for all of that money? Does she sit on her brain or something? What's so different about both of my friends is that Friend B (Shari) has never had a problem with me having other friends or even meeting them and getting to know them. We've never gone through problems like what was caused my my other friend, Robyn. And when Shari was telling me all the stuff that Robyn had told her, she was crying just as hard as I was because not only was she mad about Robyn putting her in that position, but she was hurt by it just as much. I don't think Robyn shed even one tiny tear over the whole thing. She's just going on as if nothing was ever wrong, and that ticks me off almost as much as everything else! I think I like my kitties much better too. Less drama unless the food bowl is empty. LOL Thanks hon.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Well your friend Robyn must be sitting on her brains as well...if she has any...LOL Oh hoh...you should see the "drama" that goes on here if I'm late feeding my kitties...heehee
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I think her brains are in her sitter as well hon. LOL
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50152)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I hope you and friend B, cut friend A out for good. I had a friend from childhood who I knew spoke about me behind my back. I forgave and forgave, until finally she did something so bad I refused to speak to her. I mean it had far reaching consequences. Despite letters and e-mail I won't have anything to do with her. I mean, I can forgive, but I'd be foolish to trust her again. But it DOES hurt so much when someone you think has your back, is only talking behind it.
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I still talk to Friend A every once in a while, when she calls me. But the urge to make the effort for the friendship is not there anymore. The trust is completely gone now. It hurt my other friend too, and we have been leaning on each other quite a bit since it all happens. Thanks so much hon. YOU are definitely a good friend that I treasure very much.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (50152)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Thank you. : ) Friend A doesn't know how much she lost.
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Awwww....thanks so much hon. You're so good for me!
1 person likes this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
11 Sep 07
So... where did you meet my sister?? Kidding... but that's her in a nutshell, as well! How do people get by in the world with such negativity and such a willingness to hurt? Without fanfare, I've removed myself from my sister's life. I'm much, much happier than I have ever been!
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
LOL! To be honest, that negativity remained pretty well hidden from me the whole time until all of this. I didn't know she had it in her. As for my own sister, I don't even hear from her ever, so I don't even really know her anymore. And that's sad. I'm glad that you're happier hon. Sometimes we have to do things like that for the sake of our sanity and peace.
2 people like this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
11 Sep 07
When she turned on our Mom it was just the last straw! People need to be called to account for what they do!Glad you have a good friend... takes away some of the sting!
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5765)
• Canada
11 Sep 07
Hi Katlady2, What a terrible, hurtful thing, for friend A to do to you. I'm glad that friend B is there for you, and you're still close. I'm very fortunate, as my sister is one of my best friends, who I can always count on. Sadly, though, I have a 'friend' that just up and dumped me, going on four years ago now. She lives right in my neighbourhood, and her daughter is one of my daughter's best friends. This friend once told me she thought of me as a sister. We met when my daughter and her's were both four, and they're sixteen now. We've been through a lot together, and so this still really hurts. The other night, she came to the door to pick-up my daughter, and didn't even wish to say hi to me. I'll make this the end of my 'little rant' here, but I'm very thankful for the friends I've made here, and others that I've known personally for many years. Take Care.
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
That is just so awful for your friend to have done that to you right out of the blue like that. Thank God we have our true friends to outshine the bad ones. Thanks hon.
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Sep 07
I'm still not sure what the cause is for this, and in the beginning, I phoned several times. My calls either weren't returned, or she never got the messages. When I did talk to her on one or two occasions, I suggested that we get together, but she really didn't seem too interested. Thanks for your support here.
@ladybug565 (2217)
• United States
12 Sep 07
Wow, Katlady, I am sorry to hear that. It is really hard when a friend breaks trust.
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
12 Sep 07
It is very hard, and quite painful. But as the saying goes "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger". I think I really believe in that one now. Thanks hon.
@ayu_asks (104)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Good friends are really hard to come by. My really2 best friends are only just a handful. But you know in your heart who they are. And everyday, [in fact just yesterday] I discover friends who just would like to make use of you for their own advantage... I try to keep them in an arms length, and try to take advantage of them [when i can] ah a haaa... just kidding... ~ cheers ~ myhandbaghaven.blogspot.com
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I love your sense of humor hon. Make sure you keep it with you always...it comes in really handy in bad situations. Thanks.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
13 Sep 07
Sweetie do me one favor do NOT let her back in your Life as that is not a Friend I have had a couple of experience like that this is why it is hard for me to believe when my Friends tell me that I am a good Person I love my Friends on here and I am sure that they are all genuine So please Sweetheart tell her where to go do not give her another chance you do not deserve or need that as you are a very loving and caring Person and always remember that Love you loads and big Hugs