Does getting old becomes a desperation in finding a partner?

@daryljane (3439)
Philippines
September 12, 2007 6:14pm CST
I dont think so!! Im 28, and still single. But then again..my friend, who's turning 31 next week seems to appear with a mission of finding a partner before her birthday. Shes been out lately, been dating every men thats comes along. I keep telling her that it will just come along, but she doesnt believe that. She getting worried every day that whe she's 30 already worried shes not going to get married soon...and YES!! its a desperation!!! will you feel the same way, if ever?? I dont feel anything like that though, in fact, im enjoying what i can being single these days.. what do you think guys?
3 people like this
13 responses
@raychill (6530)
• United States
12 Sep 07
I think it's different for everyone. I'm 25 and my mom is on me more about being married and having kids than I am. Pshaw. I'm good being single! My friend is 29 and she was married and divorced and is more happy with the single life. I know a few 35+ who aren't married too. I think people are getting married later and I think each person feels differently about when they should be married by. As of now, If I'm still 30 and Single, I'll be ok with it. Maybe when I'm 40 I might feel different.
2 people like this
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
same here..maybe when im 40 id think differently..but im stll 28 and im still having more fun then having someone else..its amazing how being independent make you right?
1 person likes this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Completely. But you know, I know people who have been in their 50's and never been married and never had the desire to be married. I think its different for everyone really. Some people can't be alone and some people just want to be alone!
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
i agree..there are some people that wants to be left alone..it also varies on their experience in the past that maybe pushed then to stay single.
@meanangel (167)
• United States
12 Sep 07
I am happy being the single woman I am. I do like the company of a man but I don't need to be married to be happy. I like having the freedom to do as I want without checking with someone else first. I don't have to share unless I want to and don't fear cheating on someone because nothing ever gets that serious. I don't think I will ever get married and that is fine. What do you think your friend finds lacking in herself that she needs a man to make her whole? Happiness has to come from within first and if you don't love yourself you will never be able to love anyone else. Getting married will not change that.
2 people like this
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
thats what i told her..happiness comes from within, and she cant find it with getting a man..i dont think why she cant understand that..
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
15 Sep 07
I can see her point- I think a lot of women when they hit a certain age and they don’t already have a husband or a family started- start to worry. It’s normal- I just hope she doesn’t jump into a relationship because she thinks she is getting old- Obviously the right person will come along sooner or later- I don’t think there is any need to worry.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
yeah..were all praying she doesnt just jump into a relationship and get hurt along the way...
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
14 Sep 07
Hello daryljane, I am 35 right now and I got married like three years ago. I wasn't desperate looking for my future husband that time. For me, if there is, there is. I don't have to search high and low for my another half. In fact, I had been thinking that it was the end of my life and I am not going to find a partner forever. But right after I made a decision to learn how to live alone forever, here he was, right in front of me, asking for my hand in marriage! I met my husband a year before we decided to get married. I am happily married right now and being blessed with a cute little son*smiles*
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
thats what usually happens..when you stop looking, it just comes in time..like the song, stop looking for love..they always happens unexpectedly...and it always geels great!
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Not for me. I'm to the point where I've accepted if I'm single, that's fine. Plus with age comes more experience and ability, so that's pretty cool for me. I'm never going to race to the altar either, that's a disaster waiting to happen. I'm fine growing old, yet growing stronger and wiser at that.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
indeed! whats with being single-blessedness...nothing wrong with that...i dont know with her..hope she starts listening to us and calm down and stop looking..
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
Yeah your right, foe me I do believe in destiny. I do believe if it is destine to have a partner it will come even though your not looking for them. Sometimes when your looking it never comes either.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
yeah, the more youre looking and it never happens, the more you get frustrated...
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
13 Sep 07
i remember when i was in Osaka, Japan...the girls there have a name for girls who are noT married by the age of 25. they called em "Christmas Cake". thats because Christmas cake after the 25th..no one want to eat them anymore! desperation? its better to be single than to end up marrying the first person to propose and get stuck in a bad marriage.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
nice name eh..christmas cake...hmmm i think im one of them huh? because im past 25..lolz:)
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
lonely - it's better to be lonely than to be in a bad relationship
It's no reason to be desperate. Anyway, what's wrong with being single? So many marriages fail anyway, so why be desperate to get married? Maybe your friend is afraid of loneliness, and I respect that. But it's better to be lonely than to be in a bad relationship.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
i think she doesnt want to be lonely...but we always tells her that if shes really desperate in finding someone to be with having the reason of getting older, than she need to be more careful..its too risky getting hurt when youre out there and hasty.
• China
13 Sep 07
Its not a problem for me,either.I am also 28 years old and I am still single.These days,women are more open and independent than before.They work in every walks of life and do their own contribution to our society.I thought as long as 1.they enjoy their life,2.they are finanically independent.Then its ok to choose their favorite life style.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
like what my cousin always tells us, men an always come running when women have good job with good pay.. no offence to the guys here..im just quoting what my cousin said...but i think its true...:)
13 Sep 07
Everyone is different hun, but you should never be in a rush to wed. My parents were desperate for me to marry before I was 30 and against my better judgement I gave in and married the guy I had been with for a couple of years. It was a mistake.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
14 Sep 07
yeah, rushing wedding will really take you no where..you need to know the person who youre marrying weel enough for you to decide its worth living with them for the rest of your life...especially for me that i dont like separation and divorce...
• United States
13 Sep 07
i think it just depends of the person..i know that i am in peace with my life..and very happy with just me and my son..and im 34..i used to feel like i needed a man to make me whole..but i relize i dont..and can be happy with or wihtout one..but dont get me wrong..if i ever find the right man.,.i wont deny him lol lol..but some womans clocks tick tock..and scare them..others just are afraid they may die alone..but thats them i guess and i wont judge.but for me..i will be ok no kmatter what happens,,:)
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
14 Sep 07
yeah, some women's clock are ticking and they gets restless with the idea of being alone...dont they know that it can also be fun being single???
@Valce1 (173)
• Canada
13 Sep 07
Yes: You have a biological clock. Unless you are very rich, in which case you can get married whenever you please. More true for women though - the 'good catch' guys choose younger, more attractive women, so the longer they wait the worse their prospects.
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
14 Sep 07
yeah, you can say that again...sometimes they end up with someone whose only after their golds...lols:)
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
12 Sep 07
I think for a lot of women it is going the other way, the older they get the more comfortable they are getting with being completely independent, I believe the push to get married before a certain age is one of the reasons why there are so many marriage failurs, people are just not waiting long enough for the right one, all they can see is a wedding...
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
yeah, what they all see is the day of the wedding..not the days after the wedding..