You can't go back, is the saying ...

Canada
September 13, 2007 3:24pm CST
Or can you? Today has been a 'strange' day for me, as I've just heard via e-mail, from a friend that I haven't heard from in years. She's my former room mate of many years ago, and we've very definitely lost touch. She said an upcoming event that we both used to attend, 'reminded' her of me, and she wants to know if I'll be there this year. I'd forgotten about this event, and have no intentions of going. I 'will' e-mail her though, although it'll be awkward for me. Has anything like this happened to you before? Do you think it's possible to re-connect with a friend (or family member) in situations like this?
5 people like this
12 responses
• United States
13 Sep 07
Wow I don't know. I understand what you say. It's been the same for me. I'm in my second year of college and after I graduated high school I saw two of my best friends in January during that whole month that we get off. And it was weird because it was a long time. And now she sometimes forgets to email me or call and say hi. But i guess that's how it's supposed to be everyone has to go their own way. Although at least she does remember me and it's not like she totally forgot about me, but there have been other friends of mine that haven't even emailed me and it's kind of weird 'cause I would really like to know what they are doing and how they are coping being all grown-up and stuff.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 07
Oh and now thinking about it, I don't think it would be easy to reconnect. 'Cause i mean you haven't seen each other in a while and people change and it might get kind of awkward because you guys have nothing to say to each other that's interesting like before or something close to that. Or maybe it might be easy to reconnect.
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I was very surprised to hear from this friend, and I do find it kind of awkward too. She has e-mailed me back, with a further update on her life, and she wants us to keep this up, so we'll see what happens. Thanks for your response.
• United States
23 Sep 07
Good luck with that.
1 person likes this
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
14 Sep 07
It does happens to me but very rare..!! There is one of my childhood friend who moved to some other place 2 years ago she always calls,as memeories always cause pain I tried to forget her actually not forget her I was kind of dependent on her very much used to be with her so I just wanted to be independent. But as we parted I almost moved ahead without paying any attention to our relation and now she calls up and reminds me of our old days....I felt so guilty about this but now I now you can always be in touch after all there is no such harm in it..!! And in friendship there is never late you can always GO BACK..!! We even sometimes creat our same old days whenever we meet so we can always GO BACK in TIME when we are with our friends..!! WE girls still get dressed up together paint each other nails do makeup of eachother and many more..its really fun..!! Now I'll never negelect her she just holds a great part of my past life ..!! together....these things really makes me sentimental!! :)
• Canada
24 Sep 07
I'm happy for you, that you've been able to keep in touch with this old friend, and that you're still able to have fun together. I guess it just depends on the relationship, and where life's taken you. I'll see what happens with my friend. Thanks for your response.
• United States
14 Sep 07
I think you can re-connect with old friends. You might not be as close as you once were but then again you might become close friends again. I had a best friend in elementary and the start of middle school. Then I switched schools and we kinda lost touch. We would write letters and stuff to each other but then we stopped that too. Well, here recently we caught up with each other again. We talk sometimes on the instant messenger. She doesn't live very far from me and we are going to get together with our husbands and kids too sometime soon. We aren't as close as we used to be but after we start hanging out again we might can be close again....who knows.
2 people like this
• Canada
24 Sep 07
Some people are able to make a strong reconnection for sure, after so many years. I'm not sure what'll happen with this friend, but we are going to 'attempt' some e-mails. I wish you all the best, when you get together with your old friend. Thanks for sharing.
@mummymo (23707)
14 Sep 07
I have been in a similar situation and it did work with me sweety! I know it isn't easy but if you want ti to work there is a good chance that it will, if you are not keen there is maybe not much point in trying! You say you can't go back sweety and that is maybe true, but you can go forward and move reconnect to someone as the people that you are today, or at least that is my opinion! Nice to speak to you honey - sorry I have been so bad at communication - struggling a bit but will get there and as usual you make me feel better just by reading your post! xxx
2 people like this
• Canada
24 Sep 07
Hi mummymo, My friend has sent me another e-mail, so she does seem to want to catch-up. That's true, as we definitely aren't the same people we were, way back when we shared those apartments. I used to find this particular friend somewhat controlling at the time, but I'm sure that would'nt be the case today, as I can't see us becoming 'really' close again. Don't worry about your not communicating, as I understand. Please take care of yourself, and I do love to hear from you, but only as you're able. Thanks for your kind words. I 'tried' to leave a comment on your myLot profile page, as I finally learned how to do this. For some reason, I'm not able to do this on 'just your page' it seems.:(
@Dan_ul (858)
• Romania
14 Sep 07
"You can't go back" is not the issue... but, "You don't want go back" now that is an other thing... I believe that it is possible to re-connect to an old friend if that is what you want and if he want it to... but that varies from people to people:) good luck;)
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
That's just it, as I'm not really sure that I 'want' to go back. This friend could also be somewhat 'controlling' as far as I was concerned, and I have moved on. Thanks for your response.
• India
14 Sep 07
No you definitely cannot go back. You can relive, rejoice or repent depending on the situation and your memories, but you certainly can’t turn the clock back. And its very very difficult to reconnect if you have not been in touch for a long time. We go our own ways, have our own careers and goals, some of us are successful some not. We mature over the years and our childhood memories seem silly and unimportant. So its difficult just to meet your old buddy after a long long time and hit it right off! After the initial hi-s and hello-s, you seem at loss about what to say (at least this happens to me). And on top of that is the feeling that you maybe less successful than your friend. Something similar happened to me just the other day. At office we were expecting a client to come over for some presentation. Instead of the director, another senior member of his team turned up and she happened to be my class-mate. The entire office was on its toes to please her (as the client’s representative) and there she was, shaking me by the hand’ laughing and joking about our school days. Well I do hold an important position, but that in no way is as senior as hers and then she carried herself as per her position, while I dress most shabbily. So I was kind of vacillating between happiness and embarrassment when she said the worst possible thing…in front of everybody she exclaimed OMG Sudipta, you have become so old! It was not intentional, just an exclamation of surprise, but yes, it hurt and I wish I had never met her!
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I'm so sorry to hear that this happened with your old classmate. It's really hard 'when we're made' to feel this way by someone. It really shouldn't be an issue, but somehow it is. As for me, this particular friend and I, were together a lot, when we were much younger, and although we shared apartments back then, we're very different. I can't really see us becoming that close again. Thanks for your response.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
14 Sep 07
actually thi stype opf situation has not happened to me. But if happens i will always hear to my heart. If I think i really want to attend, i'll. Otherwise i will tell her politely. May be I will try to meet her in some place else.
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
In my case, I 'couldn't' attend, as the event was too far away, distance wise. I don't really know (right now) if she's interested in seeing me again, elsewhere. Thanks for sharing.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
I think it really depends on whether the paths you have taken in your life have led to anywhere near the same place. I have friends that I feel I can never reconnect with, because they are still on paths that I will not walk again, and I know that to reconnect with them would be to do so. There are also people from my past that I choose not to reconnect with because there is simply no place in my life for them now. That sounds really harsh, but I think in the end sometimes I have to do what is best for myself and my loved ones I already have. I have this conflict over family members all the time, because I am always just a step away from completely cutting ties with them, but have yet to manage to do so. It's an awkward thing, because I haven't seen most of my family members in several years, and I am nothing like the same person they knew, while many of them remain the same.
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
It is hard to reconnect to people when you (no longer) have anything in common, even if it's family. In the case of this friend, I find I 'never' really had that much in common with her to begin with, although we shared a couple of apartments, many years ago. We're just very different. I don't think what you've said is harsh, as I can relate too. I will send another e-mail to this friend, but am just not sure where this will take us. Thanks for your response.
@cmsk2005 (1770)
• United States
13 Sep 07
I actually can't get back if i have many things around and very ery busy with it but if I get a chance i would like to meet them, a lost friend from the past, meeting them remembering the past its great, but it ofcourse depends on the situation so I will have to judge the situation, if it permits then only i can go
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I wasn't able to go to the event that my friend mentioned, so I haven't seen her in years. I guess if I'd have had the chance to attend, I would've. Thanks for sharing.
• Philippines
14 Sep 07
Yeah, why not? It's all depend on us, weather we like to reconnect or not. But i think, it would be nice to reconnect to a friend or a family member after a long time ago of having lost in touch. Have a nice day ahead from Kiko and happy posting and earning here in MyLot and Godspeed!
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Sep 07
This old friend has actually e-mailed me back, so I'll see where this takes us. Thanks so much for the kind words, and you have a great day too. God Bless.
@meanangel (167)
• United States
14 Sep 07
You can reconnect with almost anyone. With the internet you can keep in touch even with people you might not physically see again. Your new connection will be as the people you are now not the people you were. I had a friend find me after 10 years and it was the best feeling to know she still thought of me. We are half a country away from eachother but now we email, im, and talk on the phone at least once a week. We still have a lot in common. If you want to know this person then make the effort and it should be worth while.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Sep 07
I agree that we can never reconnect as the people we were, meanangel. Actually, it is a good feeling that this old friend took the time to think of me. The internet makes so many things possible. Thanks for your response.
• Canada
14 Sep 07
A little over a year ago my best friend from grade school actually walked into my Mom's work place with her parents and my Mom almost fell through the floor. (This is a friend that moved away around grade five and now we are both 29!!!She got her address from her but then I lost it. We spoke on the phone once and then lost each other again...Now she has found me again on Face Book and I am so happy! I really do think that you can reunite an old friendship. I have also just recently found a cousin who I have lost touch with... Yes I believe it is possible!
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Sep 07
Hi heavenschild, I'm so glad that you've been able to reconnect with this old friend. I hope that this will work out really well for you, and that you'll be able to get together. Am happy to hear about your cousin too. Thanks for sharing, as always, and have a great day.:)