I feel annoyed to my best friend.....

@lynboobsy11 (11346)
Philippines
September 15, 2007 4:32am CST
Were texting while ago and I got annoyed on her. At first she's suggesting me one thing about work, I told her as of now I have no plans to work outside coz I have two daughters that needed me to care of. And I want to supervise there school works and activities coz for me this is the only thing I can share and give to them until they grew up. I'm a single mom but I have monthly allowance from there father that's why I prefer to be at home for them. And I don't want to hire a home helper for them coz it's very hard to trust someone now a days specially when I'm at work. Then this friend of mine told me again to hire a helper and now she's forcing me to apply for this job cuz the salary is good. The only thing that annoys me is why she can't accept what I want to do in my life now I know she's only been concern about me and I appreciated that much but I already felt that she want to forced me to this and she didn't want to accept what I'm trying to say. Me I'm a friend to her but never in my life that I forced her to do what I want for her, for me If I suggest and she refused it fine with me I never insist It's her own life not mine. That's the only thing I want to tell her to respect each other. Can you tell me if I'm wrong about this feeling for her. Do you have a friend like this kind of attitude towards you?
3 people like this
13 responses
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
15 Sep 07
It honestly doesn't matter about your friends opinion, because that is what it is, just an opinion. For her to push that on you is wrong on her part. She has to respect your decision to stay at home and raise your daughters. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! If you can afford it, then why not? Sometimes friends cross the line without knowing it. Maybe you should tell her that you are a little offended by her pushing you to take this job. You have made your decision to do what is best for your family, while you appreciate her genuine concern, she needs to understand your decision is final, until you decide to go back to work. Just be nice about it, but definitely be honest.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
Yeah your right but I always honest with her she knows all about me on how I prioritize my children aside from others. I just don't know why the reasons she's acting like that to me. Thanks friend for the nice response, have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
16 Sep 07
There is really no telling what makes people act the way they do, but I would still tell her anyway, she might not really see it the way you do, regardless of how you explained it in the past. Better to get it out than to let it build up inside of you until you build up a resentment toward her.
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
Even I get annoyed at people who think they know what's best for my life. Of course you are the only one who knows what's best for you and for your children so if you think your plan is working just right for you, you dont have to be bothered about what other people are saying.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
Yeah your right I never bothered about what others, but in my best friend maybe I would coz I love my best friend she's like a sister to me since I don't have any siblings to talk too. Thanks have a nice day...
@sophylline (1042)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
If I were in your shoes,I would probably prefer to do the same as you. I think it is most important that you build the foundation of your youngsters first before anything else, including that of seeking a job. Since you are receiving a monthly allowance from the father of your children, I would stay to be with my kids, physically and emotionally wise. Don't get me wrong, it is also important that you eventually need to find a regular source of income from your end. I could understand, though, the concern of your best friend towards your security. I am sure she is only concerned. She might seem to be forcing you, but I think she's only seizing the opportunity. Opportunities do seem not to come that often. Come to think of it. If you would think rationally, sometimes we need to consider. What if somehow, the allowance you get monthly from your ex, stops suddenly. Or what if for some reason your ex cannot provide everything you needed and they are not enough? These are just possiblities. But you are right. You have the right to respect each other, opinions and such. You can give advice, offer opportunities, but you can accept the other's refusal as well. At the end of the day, it is still you who will choose what to do for your life, be able to face it's consequences.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
I truly understand your point sophylline, and I sometimes realize that and think that but how can I grab that opportunity when I can't leave my children to others, I just sometimes leave it to prayers that if that happened I know God can help me through it, I know by that time I can find a job to provide for my kids. Thanks for the nice response have a nice day....
• United States
15 Sep 07
You need to do what is best for YOU! Does your friend have children? Is she a single mom? Even if she is you have to follow your own heart! You go girl!
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
Yea she has three childen and with her hubby too sh don't have work also but her hubby has a stable job. I know her concerns about me and I feel gratitude about that. Thanks have a nice day...
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
15 Sep 07
Maybe your friend is just eager to help you, that's all. She must've been happy to tell you the news because she knows you are the most qualified for that job she's offering you, just try to take it easy on her!;) Anyways, you can always let her know in a nice way that you have decided you'll focus more on your kids. That you still have ways of earning extra income, that you don't feel like working and leaving your children on other people.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
Yeah I know that and I really appreciated her concern but I just want to ask for her is a little respect form my part coz I respect her privacy also. Thanks friend , have a nice day...
@meemingNEW (2228)
• Philippines
15 Sep 07
About your friend.. I think that she cares for you that's why she is helping you in a way she can like she is recommending you to that job. But maybe the way she said it is somewhat a bit pushy or just like you said - forceful. I am glad though that you still appreciate what your friend is doing but I do hope that you will just keep your cool about the situation. I mean, she is really a friend since she wants to help. But she has to respect you.. and if you don't the job, then tell her you don't need it. And also indicate that you are thankful for her.. or maybe you just have to tell her the truth about what you are feeling towards her now.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
15 Sep 07
She really knows about it I told her that but I don't know how can I explain to her that she's been a pushy to me. Well meeming thanks for your response, have a nice day...
• India
15 Sep 07
Hi lynboobsy, It is good that you have such a good friend to think about your welfare. She might be thinking on thre lines of some additional income so that there will be additional disposable income with you while you are taking care of two kids. Make it very clear to her about your intentions of completing your commitments towards the upbringing of your children is more important than making money. At that juncture she will definitely not advice you against your wishes. Once when your kids are grown up as good citizens then you can think of any other course for your life. Anyway I do not have a friend like that to advice me against my wishes. I do have friends who will advice me in achieving my goals of life.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
15 Sep 07
Yeah I appreciated her so much for she has a full support and concern about me but I must say she must respect my decision for what I want. Money is important to me also that's why even though I can't go out for work I try to make money here online it can be also a big add for our monthly expenses. Thanks for the nice response, have a nice day..
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
15 Sep 07
Frist I want to commend you for staying home with your daughters. Children need their mothers at home with them. Since their father is supporting you with enough finiances to stay home you should. Your friend seem to have a problem with this. I have never had a friend try to push me to do something that I don't want to do. It has to be difficult having a friend pushing at you. I don't know what I would do if a friend did push at me to do something I did't want to do.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
15 Sep 07
Thanks for the nice comment about me. And your right I feel pressured about her sometimes I don't know why she's keep telling me to do that for I never ask a single centavo for her that's why sometimes I feel to hide from her rather than have a conversation to her. Thanks have a nice day.
@jcyap888 (721)
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
i know your feeling about your kids! like me i'm the one taking care of my kids and the same time looking for some sidelines that i can like buy and sell cars,motorcycle, everything i could sell,perfume selling. your friends suggestion is good but very confusing of what to do, having a helper can be a help but theres a doubt if the helper wont be doing bad, i'm very protective to my 2 daughter two what i have see on the new about the rape etc. i'm afraid that it might happen to anyone.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
Yeah your right and I agree with bout that for me It's my daughters first safety than other things. I can produce money in my sidelines too as well I never neglect my kids in doing sidelines. Thanks have a nice day...
@sexylc (501)
• United States
19 Sep 07
Well your the only one who can make a dicession for your family life! sometimes friend is there for you to advice.But don't let your friends roll your life! so your not wrong go on what you think that good for your family.Yeah I have some friends like this but I just ignore them and pretend that I am listening.
• Philippines
16 Sep 07
i am also a stay at home mom, so believe me i understand your wanting to be at home taking care of you kids.. nothing wrong with that...
• United States
16 Sep 07
My friends and I do annoy one another, but that is what friends are for. Friends are there to take some of the abuse that you throw at them.
@kishusia (1069)
• India
16 Sep 07
I have no friend like this, but I believe that friends should not force themselves on each other. They should accept each other as they are. Force creates friction. Friction creates heat. Heat dissolves relations. So, my dear, be careful.