Boy Hellp!

United States
September 16, 2007 3:07pm CST
Hey everyone. I am in a situation right now and need some advice. About a month ago I met someone online. We have been dating every since. Thing is, we live 1 1/2 hrs away from each other, and also after I, um, made the mistake of sleeping with him it seems as if his calls and visits to me have been less frequent. He is very busy and is father is suffering from cancer, which I understand. I just feel a bit weird about this, and when I asked him about where we stand which I feel is appropriate since it have been over a month, he claims that he wants to continue dating me and that everything is fine. There are huge gaps in the time it takes him to respond to me...and he does go out alot still...not sure if I should believe this guy or start to move on. Thank you for your opinions.
4 people like this
15 responses
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
16 Sep 07
That is a tough one. It is possible that he is just distracted with everything going on in his life. Then I think of how I would be acting if I were him. If you were really important to me I think I would still make time to talk to you. Even if just to say hey I can't talk long I am busy but just wanted to say hi. That type of thing. I personally would cut my losses and stop calling him, but that is just me and I am a *itch about things like that. Good Luck in whatever you decide.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 07
He does call...once in a while but you are right...better to be a b*tch in situations like this!
@Lovett (465)
• India
17 Sep 07
I feel you should talk to him first before you do anthing. But always play safe, by keepnig your distance, if you dont trust him. wait for smetime, n see where the relationship oges, n if it still feels nothing, then I guess its time to move on.
@jesus777 (664)
• Bermuda
17 Sep 07
hi kay joy 7 ive been in online and found out that they were jerks but this guy seems very distnat do you think he has another girlfriend or something if he is takign along time to resond to yoiu maybe he ahs another woman on teh side or something!!!!!
• United States
17 Sep 07
Hi KayJoy, Well, its a tough one really. That distance is really not that far, especially to make a phone call or send you a message of some sort. If he was really into you I think he would find time to make phone calls since your not so close in distance. I would just be cautious and keep your guard up. Perhaps return the action....if he calls you then make it a point to take some time to call back or message him. Having things move so fast and be so demanding of time doesnt work and wont work for the future. It could be he REALLY is "busy", I live in the same house with my husband, lol, and hes very busy. We hardly see one another. I say for women, go with your gut! You cant ignore that! Bay xx
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
17 Sep 07
wow, I can't judge you tho... you just know him and you end up sleeping with him? it is hard to say tho... you know, most men are a jerk... Im not saying all MEN but most of them. they are just messing around with you. I used to know this guy from online too... he is a nice person and sweet and all kind of stuff. but I didn't end up like that at all... he respects me tho. If you like him, then you have to find out more about him and always watch your own back... you dont have to love him all from your heart now cuz if he turned down on you then you dont have to hurt too much. Get to know him more and more and see if he cares about you or anything like that. Dont show him that you love him so much ok? otherwise he will feel that you love him more and he doesn't have to care about you. i wish you good luck
• United States
17 Sep 07
It sounds like he got what he wanted from ya and not he wants to move on also it sounds like that is the only reason he wants ya aound is to sllep with him wake up honey and smell the roses move on and find ya someone that will love ya and not just use ya
• Bulgaria
17 Sep 07
I don't want to scare you, but what if he's been interested just to see you in his bed. I know you think he's a nice guy, but tha's how it usually happens. On the other side may be he really has these problems and they're messing up your relationship, but don't worry, it shoeld end up soon. And there's a third theory - he can feel really confused after he slept with you. So be patient and give him enough time to think over it, but this will happen as soon as his problems are over, which could take even more time. However if you are sure you want to be with him there would be no problem at all to wait for that moment to come. I hope I've helped you out.
@MisterPlus (1917)
• Philippines
17 Sep 07
If you really like the person go on and pursue what you have started but if you feel like there is nothing to pursue then stop and take another ride. He may be in a situation where he is depress because of his father. He may need some time to have some fun to forget and let go of his father's situation.
@ghazal2k5 (983)
• India
17 Sep 07
Well my girlfriend also thinks same about me. But the fact is that i am very loyal to her. Males don't share much when they have problems. They just keep everything inside. May be thats what he is doing. Trying to stay a little away from you while solving his problems. May be he don't want to make you tense by sharing his problems. But i will also suggest you to be careful. May be he is just playing around with you.
@eprado (1473)
• Philippines
17 Sep 07
Hello KayJoy, Welcome to myLot. I think it depends on how you really feel for the guy, if you really love him. If not I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him, end it and move on. Sometimes long distance relationship is just hard to maintain. Once the communication starts to dwindle thats where I think the problems starts, reasons given such as one person is busy, have problems, etc.. Until one day the totally the communication stops that one doesn't care anymore. I was once involved in a long distance relationship before and ended up on our separate ways.
@cycy113 (15)
• China
17 Sep 07
well, this depends on if your love is really stable and firm,nobody can tell or move on right now, just time can tell:) wish you luck
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
17 Sep 07
This isn't an easy one to answer. I do understand being very busy. I am so busy that I have very little time to devote to a relationship. When I am with the person, i do try to make it quality and do reasure that I enjoy my time with him and wish that there were more of it. Your guy doesn't seem to do this or you would not be here asking advice. Another thing is that when you first mentioned the dad suffering with cancer, I got an image of this boy spending much time with dad and helping out. But then you go on to say that he goes out alot....hmmm. The computer makes it very very easy to be someone whom you are not. You only just met online a month ago and with what little time you have spent together, you can't possibly really know him well. I would not call him. If there is something there, let him come to you and please don't sleep with him again until you know he's as serious as you about a relationship. how old are you guys anyway? Best of luck.
• United States
17 Sep 07
I would say move on and forget about him. He could just be upset because of his father. Hes probably very distracted by it. Maybe you should try talking to him one more time and see what happens. If he blows you off tell him your going to give him time to deal with things. See what he says. But id say your better off to just move on so you dont end up with a broken heart. Good luck!
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
17 Sep 07
It really is hard to tell because he is going through a lot right now with his father. But I'm suspicious of the fact that his "coldness" started after that moment of intimacy with you. I think he's a jerk for acting this way after you've given yourself to him.
• United States
17 Sep 07
I would move on, but it's a matter of how much youloe him and if you trust him. If you trust him and believe that he's not just in it for the benefits, then you should definitely stick together. But....if there is any doub tin your mind, then you should at least prepare yourself for the worst. Listen to this little bit of advice I used to tell myself when I was with my ex of 1 1/2 years. If you two were meant to be together then you will be, no matter what, because you cannot change fate. Hope this helps you at least a little. You've Just Been Flushed ~The Toilet Turtle~