I have missed everyone

@makingpots (11922)
United States
September 17, 2007 12:35am CST
I have been a bit out of touch lately getting a little caught up in life. My little boy turned 3 (I can not believe it) and there have been party plans, new programs starting back up like classes we do together and then in the midst of all this we tried to squeeze in a little family vacation. I almost drove myself nuts wanting everything to be so perfect for my little guy. I noticed something about myself during all of this. While I am not usually a type-A personality who needs everything to be perfect, I am developing some tendencies to not enjoy the moment as much as I would like when it comes to making memories for my son. So, parents out there, (or people who feel like your parents did a great job with you) do you have any advice for me?
6 people like this
11 responses
@chileman (969)
• Australia
17 Sep 07
Welcome back, I find I'm like you not getting much time on here as I get caught up in life and what it throws at you. Good luck with your son, I have two and I thank God for them. Don't have to much advice but I will say good on you for trying to be the best mum you can be, it's hard sometimes to enjoy every moment of their lives, just take lots of pictures and videos so when they are grown up and gone you have great memories!
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
thanks. it is good to be back. thanks for the advice... lots of pictures!
2 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
17 Sep 07
You know what we think of as perfect honey isn't always the way they see perfect! You know that the times that things go wrong , if we allow ourselves to relax and go with the flow are the times that kids remember with joy later on! The other thing is if you make everything too perfect you can't enjoy it, your son will enjoy it more if you do too and if he never has anything but perfection he will probably put a lot of pressure on himself to make everything perfect as he gets older and also will get very upset when he has to face up to the fact that everything is not in fact perfect in life! My advice to you would be to relax a little - you have a wonderful son and are a wonderful Mum so please stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy just being with him - it flies past so quickly! I haven't been online much honey but I have missed you when I have been here - it is good to see you! xxxx
2 people like this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
17 Sep 07
Hello, mummymo. I look forward to your replies and suggestions almost more than anyone elses. This is especially true when it comes to parenting tips as I know you are an excellent mummy. You are a great reminder to me that life is meant to be enjoyed and I appreciate you for that. Great to hear from you.
3 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
17 Sep 07
Oh sweety - you make me feel so good about myself - thank you! I need to remind myself sometimes so it helps - believe me! Just wait til your little Angel is a teenager, you'll see what I mean! lol xxxx
2 people like this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
I get a slight knot in my stomach just thinking about it. Lol
1 person likes this
@lani0529 (1726)
• Philippines
17 Sep 07
Hello makingpots!(",) A warm welcome back to you!(",)I think your days spent with your little one is all worth it. I think, all mothers wanted only the best for their young ones and they wanted to create perfect moments to share with. Always spend time with your little boy because before you know it, he has grown to be a teenager. Great day and enjoy mylotting!(",)
2 people like this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
17 Sep 07
Thanks, lani. I hear what you are saying. He is growing so swiftly. Thanks for the response. Have a great day.
3 people like this
@lani0529 (1726)
• Philippines
18 Sep 07
You are very much welcome!(",)
@paidreader (5151)
• United States
17 Sep 07
My advise is to just relax a little. Not everything can turn out as perfectly as planned. Whether the plans turn out the way they're supposed to or not, you're making memories. Flexibility is a must with kids and especially a three year old. By adapting to the situation, your son will remember your strength and will draw on these memories you're making for years to come.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
thank you.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
17 Sep 07
The one thing I can say is this, your son learns from you and his father so in that you just have to make yourself realize that nothing is perfect and in trying to make everything perfect is going to make you and everyone else miserable. You don't want those kinds of memories for your son. Try to keep that in mind. I'm a perfectionist too and I'm still working on that and have come a long way with it because I don't keep a perfectly clean house like I used to because I feel now that there's life out there waiting for me. My house can wait. So what if there is a dirty plate in the sink, it'll wait for me. So what if the party favors are out of place, it's not going to make the roof cave in. Hope you guys had a good time with the party!
2 people like this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Thank you. You make a very good point. I don't want my son learning from me that everything needs to be perfect.
1 person likes this
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
17 Sep 07
great to see you back,i know its so tough trying to make evrything perfect,us mothers have so much on our hands and not enough time in the day to do everything we would like to.my babies are growing so fast too and sometimes i feel like i need some extra eyes,legs,and arms because there is 3 of them and they are only 10 1/2 months apart between the 3.2 of them are twins so its like having triplets.but we can only do as much as we can and god willing to allow us.i know your doing a terrific job and never feel like your not,your only one person and can only do so much.enjoy every moment and take care hon.pattie
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
thanks so much for the encouragement. I bet you house is huge fun with the 3 of them around. They are lucky to be so close and will probably be very close growing up.
1 person likes this
@beaniegdi (1966)
17 Sep 07
Hi, it is hard sometimes to fit everything in especially when you have young children. Yours is at a lovely age but also a demanding one as they need watching all the time so you are bound to feel a little stressed, also what can happen is when we have children we start turning into our own mothers. Was your mother like this? The best thing is that you have noticed that this is something that is causing you to miss out on joyfull moments as you are trying to control everything. It may help if you can relax so you might want to look at anything that is aimed to help us de stress, good food, lots of rest, aromatherapy, excersize, yoga, nights out with friends, anything that gives you pleasure such as funny films etc Once you feel less stressed out you might find you don't need to control everything as striving for perfection is a way of controlling our environment and can be triggered by stress. The main thing is that you have recognised a problem and that is always the first and most important in solving it. Good luck and I hope this helps a little.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
17 Sep 07
Hi, beaniegdi. Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. It helps a great deal.
2 people like this
@dpurchas (91)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Take it from a strong Type-A mom with a 3 year old, nothing you do can make all moments absolutely perfect. But the un-perfect moments are what make the memories all the more sweeter. I have found that the more I stress, the more unpleasant the event becomes for everyone around me, so I take a few minutes, find myself, have a few calming breaths, then rejoin the fray with a new frame of mind. For me its not so much finding time for me type activities as in recognizing that I am heading down the neurotic road and taking a step back to reflect for a minute. It also helps to have someone you trust like a good friend, husband, boyfriend, or family member that can recognize the tendency and take you aside and say 'Hey'. I have worked out a deal with a couple of friends to pull me aside if I am making others crazy. It works! Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Thank you for the excellent advice. I like the idea of having someone keep me in check. Aren't 3 yr olds a ton of fun?
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 07
Absolutely. Even when I am ready to pull my hair out, it is the greatest experience I have ever had.
@KrisNY (7592)
• United States
22 Sep 07
Wow—it’s hard to stop and enjoy the moment- Especially when you are trying to make things perfect. But you have to force yourself to. Otherwise you miss so much- and the moment is not fun for anyone- I have found this out—when I’m trying to make it perfect- I’m not happy and then no one is happy. So plan as much as you can ahead of time- and then just enjoy it!
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
24 Sep 07
Thanks Kris. I have learned a lot through all this. Planning ahead and then just enjoy. I'm getting better.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
18 Sep 07
Sweetie I know some People will probably think I am silly but I have 2 happy Adult Children and my Advise is plain and simple Love him, show him that you love him, hug him, tell him you love him and take every Day as it comes with him and those will be his most treasured Memory Mummy was always there no matter what Money does not make every Child Happy and when you want to do things with Children it does mainly involve Money today My Children treasure the Memory they have of the Mum that never gave up and was there Big Hugs
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Beautifully said, gabs. I will take your advice for sure.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
17 Sep 07
I am glad that your little one is growing up and you are enjoying every bit of it. I feel, we all should enjoy the quality time in whatever small or big way we can. For once it's gone - it's gone, we cannot revert it. I am not a mother but have seen my sisters doing some great job with their kids. My younger sister could actually afford to resign from her lucrative job and sje is a full tim home maker now. She enjoys every bit of my neice's growing up. She says, its precious. Indeed it is - we cannot afford to lose out on our kid's childhood. Trust me, we need it as much as the children need it. Thank you. Missed you baby.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
17 Sep 07
Thank you, mimpi. You are so right, it is very, very precious. I have been blessed, like your sister, to be able to be home with my son. My income was not very lucrative, but I would have given up any amount to be able to spend my days with him as I am doing.
2 people like this