Who choose your spouse? You or your parents?

bride - cute little bear in a bridal gown
Philippines
September 19, 2007 6:08am CST
In other countries there's a traditional arranged marriage in the family where the parents will be the one to choose who will be the spouse of their children. It may be based on the social status, morality, religion, relationship with other family or the likes. But in some countries does not practice this tradition. Most of us chose our spouse based on what we feel and like. I chose my husband because I love him and he is willing to support me in any aspect. Share your thoughts.
7 people like this
21 responses
• United States
19 Sep 07
I find it surpising that anyone would let their parents choose their spouse. But then again its not like they have to do anything with their spouse if they don't want to.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 07
I definitely chose my husband. I cant imagine marrying someone that you arent in love with or even someone you dont even know. I dont think i could marry someone i didnt love. I know i was very nervous on my wedding day. And if i would have been marrying someone i didnt know i probably would have been a nervous wreck. Oh by the way my parents really love my husband. They were very happy we decided to get married.
1 person likes this
@jackxav (660)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
Hmm Sad to say but my parents is the one who choose who will be my partner.And now we got separeted.Really relationships not working well if others deside it for you,especially in getting marry.Now i have two daughters.But im single mom.
@Philxav (733)
• Malaysia
20 Sep 07
I'm feel sad to hear that Jackxav.. but remember that is not the end of the world.. Great GOD have plans for all of us.. He loves you... Look ahead to your future with knowledge and experiences at your back. God Bless You Always
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
Hi there, what's been up to lately buddy? Well i am counting on my parents or family's opinions but still the decision is mine. Actually the good thing about my family is that, they are letting me to choose who's im going to get married with. They are letting me where i find myself happy and who's im gonna love. And actually, i don't like my parents of looking some girls to date with me as i tend to look for date myself. Have a nice day ahead my dear and happy posting and earning here in myLot. Godspeed, Kiko
@eprado (1473)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
Hello dhedows118, Yes I know of other countries which still practices arrange marriage and I have known some here in our country as well. I believe its part of their tradition and culture. Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age by their parents that their spouse will be chosen for them. For one to deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward their family. I am the one who choosed my spouse and I don't regret it. I had base it upon whom I love and what I feel in my heart that I will be happy with the rest of my life. I had considered my family's opinion and they have been supportive of whatever decisions I made. :-)
@Philxav (733)
• Malaysia
20 Sep 07
What i think... weather your choose your spouse on your own or its arranged by your parents.. make not much different s .. why i am saying this because its all very much depends between you and your partner.. there are many whom have their partners arranged by their parents lives happily and there are many people whom choose their own spouse now separated or divorced. I would say its all very much depends on how both of you and your spouse communicate to each other.. Remember the essence of pure love is caring, sharing, loving and understanding..
@subha12 (18453)
• India
20 Sep 07
I think the idea of arraged marriage still exists in country like india and some eastern countries. I am myself from India. It is mainly here due to social status and all. Till few years ago, this was the higher in % for marriages here. But I am somewhat against this idea. How a person live his/her life with a complete stranger? Again one should marry someone that he/she himself/herself can think love and can live life with. Its my opinion.
@nyumix (1661)
• Belgium
20 Sep 07
I choose my own spouse. But also have to convince my parents that he is the one for me. My country also have tradition that the parents some time is the one choose the spouse for you. But I think it was over long time ago. Nowadays, we are the one who need to choose our spouse. But same as you, we choose our spouse base on our feeling. For my parents, religion, social status still very important for choosing a spouse. Lucky me that my husband passed those qualification.
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
i heard a lot of that i think that tradition still exist.to some culturein different country.mostly in india and muslim country.but now a days it starting to change.most of the parent are verry vocal to waht they like or whom they want thier children to marry.some of my friend have same story abouth arguing thier families about the person that they love.i might say im lucky becouse my parent dont inter to our personal choices.but instead they only giving us support and advised.
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
I was the one who chose my spouse. In fact, when my parents knew about him we already planned of getting married. Which my parents agreed upon seeing him and knowing his character. It is not good sometimes if our parents will dictate things on us. They should also give their children a freedom to decide for their own.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
19 Sep 07
i choose my spouse by myself... i choose him because i love him and most importantly, we share the same beliefs... i met him in the church and one of his friend introduces him to me... i hope that we can live happily ever after forever...
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
19 Sep 07
Hi there. I chose my own husband, as for choosing partners in my culture, that carry on went out the door 100's of years ago, and Im glad for that... Even if it was still like that, I would'nt listen at all anyway...
@carmat (2850)
• Canada
19 Sep 07
I would have to say my wife's mother really set us up, I worked with her and she would always tell me about how wonderful her daughter was. We eventually got together on our own and have been married for 6 years now with 4 kids. Life is good
• United States
19 Sep 07
I did of course I make all my own disissions but my mom approves so thats a plus. I know she didnt like a lot of my old bfs but she like this one even though hes a man and is stubborn
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
19 Sep 07
I know some countries are like that, but rather I lived in that country or not I wouldn't let someone tell me who I can and can not marry.. I am me and I need to find the right person for myself.. For someone to tell me you will this person because I think he's right for you, I think I'd run from the country just so I wouldn't have to marry him.. But on a brighter note I am not from such a country so I can marry whom ever I wish and the love of my life...
@elisa812 (3033)
• United States
19 Sep 07
I chose my own husband. He is my best friend and I really love him and feel very loved by him also. I am so happy that I got to make the decision to marry him on my own. :)
@diillu (5128)
19 Sep 07
Yes, there is still these kind of practice going on. But due to modernisation and due to the disadvantages of arranged marriage many youngester have started choosing their life partner on their own. My cousins were also married to the person their parents chose. But this is not going to happen to me. I will choose the person with whom I can spend my whole life with.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Sep 07
I must admit that arranged marriages are one cultural tradition that I just can't understand. I have known a few people who were either in arranged marriages that involved abuse or completely abandoned by their family because they refused an arranged marriage, and I just can't accept it. I chose my husband myself. I chose him because he is witty, he is loving, he is kind, he believes in gender equality just as much as I do, and overall he is just an excellent human being. We are of different religions, and grew up in very different places, and yet our relationship is very happy. So I am glad that I made my own choice. =)
@magikrose (5423)
• United States
19 Sep 07
Well to be honest I chose my husband based on many reasons. I chose him cause he was loving, caring, accepted my 2older childres as his own, he was supportive,, and I love him.
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
I am the one who choose my husbadn, to whom i got married even if my parents doesnt like him... I dont feel obeying them when it comes to the one i love or to the one i want to be with the rest of my life... Its my life not them, and i am the one who will be with him no them... so id rather disobey them than be miserable with all my life.