I was shocked, i didn't know how to handle it but then i thought about it....

@nikkiwith (1074)
Australia
September 20, 2007 2:17am CST
So here it is; i was running the bath for my daughter who is 4 and she was yelling in the house which she knows is wrong, so i went down to her level and told her off, i was raising my voice which i know is wrong, anyway she was looking at me, and i'm guessing she wasn't really listening because it's hard to listen to someone who is yelling, and she slapped my face! I was angry so i yelled louder, getting her in further trouble, and she slapped me again! I grabbed her by the arm and led her to her room for time out, and i tried to think what the best thing to do would be, and i chose to cry (the slaps did hurt, but because my daughter did it it hurt more), so i went into her room and i was crying and telling her that it hurt, she felt bad and gave me a hug, but i had to ask her for an apology. I wish i didn't yell, i want to stop doing it, it's wrong!
1 person likes this
5 responses
@aseretdd (13709)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
Why was she yelling? Kids will be kids... it is good that you handled the situation quite well after realising that it was wrong for you to shout...and it was sweet of her to hug you... it must have been one of those precious moments...
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
20 Sep 07
I made a rule that we cannot yell in the house, only outside. My daughter is very loud and it hurts our ears when she yells, she is louder than the average kid.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 07
It is difficult not to take our children's actions personally. Even at 4 yo your daughter is still learning what is appropriate behavior. Removing the emotional heartbreak when a child misbehaves will make it easier to respond without yelling.
1 person likes this
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Indoor voice is always a reminder! Once you hit the outside show her the difference by saying outdoor voice, she will get in the habit. Everytime you go inside---its indoor voice, outside----its outdoor voice! Once she sees you using the indoor-outdoor voices she will learn not to yell, and you will be so busy doing the same you will not yell, lol. Four year olds are naturally noisy so it may be difficult at first!
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
24 Sep 07
Yelling is not right but slapping your mother is REALLY not right, whether a kid is 4 or 40. I used to be a bit of a yeller. I didn't ever lay a hand on my kids but I raised my voice when they were going crazy and had to be talked to sternly. Once I got their attention, I would talk to them to their faces and explain why I yelled and all that. But if one of my kids slapped me (twice!), that would not be tolerated. I would have sent her to her room and, once cooled off, would have explained calmly that kids are never to hit their parents and that she is never to - under any circumstances. Every parent yells whether they say so or not. It's a way to express anger and they often settle down quickly and then explain why they were angry. You did what you should have by giving her a time out and explaining you were hurt but I do hope you took it a step further and explained that hitting will not be tolerated. I say this because my neighbor used to let her kids hit her when they were mad and, one day, when she was on the couch drowsing a bit from the flu, her son hit her on the head with a hammer. He was five. She was OK but was hospitalized. Can you imagine THAT? Ack. I will never forget it and I shudder when I see kids hitting their parents because I think of that incident and how the little boy probably didn't even realize he was wrong. As long as you are aware that yelling is not the best way to discipline your daughter, you will catch and stop yourself. At least you don't hit and I wonder how many parents WOULD have slapped their child if their child slapped them? (Not that it would have been the right thing to do obviously.) You're doing your best. Just keep working at it. Motherhood is a work in progress. My sons are 21 and 17 and I am STILL learning!
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
26 Sep 07
Yes, i agree it is very wrong to let your baby or toddler hit you. My daughter's father let her hit him from a very young age (about 6 months, as soon as she could use her arms!), he would let her hit him in the head with objects and her hands, but when she did it to me i would tell her no! I think she also learns hitting from pre-school. I can sense that she has a beautiful heart, and i saw the empathy in her eyes when i cried after she hit me.
@Lifez2short (4969)
• United States
21 Sep 07
Yes yelling is not the right thing to do. But your daughter slapping you was definitely not the right thing for her to do. I think you handled it very well. I'm not sure I would have been able to be a calm as you. NO! I would not hit my kid back but they would have definitely gotten grounded or something taken away from them.
• United States
21 Sep 07
I'm with you on this one. As much as it is important to teach our kids not to raise our voices in anger, it is even more important to teach them to never hit anyone, especially their parents. I think you handled it very well. Letting her know that she hurt you when she hit you probably made her realize the consequences behind doing such a thing. Hopefully she'll know not to do it again in the future.